To think that men who evade paying for their children are a burden on society?

[ASimpleLampoon]

Not my situation as not divorced but I'm fed up of hearing about thousands of men who don't pay child support or only pay the minimum, or fiddle their employment status/ declared income to pay less

They should pay at least half the actual costs of raising their children, more if they earn significantly more than the other parent

If they can't pay they should be supported to get a better job

If theyre self employed and can't pay enough well get a job that allows you to pay.

If they're getting paid in cash, take on more work to pay or find a job where they can't hide their income so they have to pay.

They are the real burden on society , fed up of seeing disabled people and carers torn apart while these feckless men get away with it year after year.

Where is the government and media campaign against them?

I think it should be just taken from paychecks like tax and then given to the RP. If it was standard for everyone most of the issues would disappear.

I agree… for the most part.

I’ll probably get absolutely slaughtered for this but I think in some cases it is unfair for men to be financially responsible for a child for 18 years that they didn’t want. For example a men who has a one night stand and the women gets pregnant or even in a relationship where the man has been completely open about not wanting children and then leaves when the women falls pregnant. Women have choices when they find themselves in these situations with an unwanted pregnancy and for whatever reason, financial or otherwise, can decide not to continue. Men can’t, as it should be as I’m not suggesting they should have any say in what happens to a women’s body but I’m not sure they should be financially responsible. And please don’t say well they should have thought about that and used protection, women also have contraception options and when mistakes happen they still have options. Men don’t,

Took CMS to tribunal six years ago and won. Ex had lied about how many nights he was having DC to stay over. Adjudicator said the arrears would never be cancelled until paid. For the first time last year CMS actually acknowledged arrears existed after five years of me chasing. Said they would “try” to recover them without seeming to be aware of all the powers at their disposal. They have since asked me to confirm if I would like them to pursue the matter - well, yeah! Still waiting.

Agree - CMS should be considered the same as the mortgage/rent, utilities. A set charge that you MUST pay or face lgal consequentce. These men don’t go to their landlords/mortgage companies and claim poverty - they find the money because they have to or lose their homes or be cut off from services. Why should the contractual/legal/moral/financial obligation towards children they have fathered be any different?

Since joining Mumsnet I’ve been suprised at the number of women prepared to have babies with blatantly irresponsible men. I know some men hide their true characters until after they have become parents but women need to take more responsibility too. Some people seeing having children as an absolute right regardless who pays where others believe that you should only have kids you can afford yourself.

Yes I agree, so much rhetoric about ‘children in poverty’ and the massive welfare bill but both parents need to be financially accountable for the children they bring into the world.

Controversial opinion but we talk about the needs of single mothers as if it were the virgin birth. No. You may be left dealing with the child by yourself but there is an adult male in this equation too (unless they’re a widow) and he needs to provide. It’s not the tax payer’s responsibility.

They do it because they know they can get away with it

If they had consequences then they would be more responsible

i hope you don’t have sons if this is your attitude.

this is the type of situation I keep hearing about.

I'm sorry it was tough for you and it's bad you had to do all the work to prove it

Please explain "supported to get a better job".
If they only have limited education and ability, who is going to give them the brain boost?

I do have a son in fact and I’m terrified that a mistake when young would change his life forever. Of course I would support him to be a good father and be responsible for his child but I would be very sad and worried. I also have a daughter and if she found herself in the same position I would feel better that she has options and would support her in those options to do what is best for her.

Absent parents should be taxed until the child is 21 accordingly, and the money paid into a central fund. Present parents should be able to claim from that pot of money. That way parents can access funds whilst the absent parent is chased up and back payments are claimed. The child should never miss out.

There is no shame for deadbeat dads - the entire narrative shames single mums. Which is completely bizarre because the mums are the ones who have stuck around and are doing all the hard work of raising a child.

CMS money is not high enough for a start - it doesn’t reflect the real cost of raising a child. Then it is easy to evade. Lots of small business owners fiddle their income and that seems to be socially acceptable. It should be seen as a complete moral failing to abandon your child.

Then there is the utterly misogynist line that women are only spending the cash on hair/nails/make-up - this seems to be something spread online. As if it was in any way true! Making out women to be silly and frivolous whereas in fact the money is spent on school uniform or books or food or shoes for the kids! Life is hard raising a kid alone.

Men are not stupid and they know the cost of things - these complete lies just suit their twisted narrative that they are somehow hard done by. Instead of them facing the fact they have created a child and have walked away from them.

Divorce settlements should reflect who is going to be housing and raising the kids. It’s an outrage that this isn’t taken into account. No, apparently that’s a matter for the CMS!!

And I’d say absentee dads should still be liable for the costs of their child’s education until the age of 25 - the age at which a student can get a loan without the resident parent’s income being taken into account. University education is expensive - housing costs need to be paid. Our judges in all their highly-educated wisdom seem not to understand the first thing about this.

What's the responsibility on men not to be feckless losers?

Fixed it for you

^This.

100% absolutely. We're running around at the moment, snatching money from the disabled, trying to force people into the workforce who are (apologies for the rudeness, REALLY) a lot of the time going to be unproductive and a burden to productive employees. When we have a HUGE bank of the most dominant people in society (men, in a patriarchal system) who create people and shirk their responsibility for their children.

I KNOW not all men. But a lot of men.

FAFO. There’s a reason why for most of history couples were expected to be married or at least betrothed before they had sex. Sex has consequences. If you cannot handle any possible pregnancy don’t have sex. Simple.

Then you simply undermine your argument and come across as being slightly unhinged. Of course all parents should pay for their kids and I doubt very much that a single dad whose ex is ducking her responsibilities is at all reassured that he’s statistically unusual. What a silly hill you’ve chosen for your argument to die on.

I assume you want to make abortion illegal as well then?

Of course someone pops up to say “women are just as bad”. They are not and you know it. Stop trying to distract from the real issue!

YES. All the sneering at single mothers being supported by the government when the real issue is single fathers running off and not supporting their children.

No. But abortion isn’t contraception.

If men don’t want kids they can’t pay for then they shouldn’t shag around.

^^ THIS!

yes. Enforcement needs to be far more stringent. Deadbeats should have their passports, driving licenses etc revoked. Among many other measures to apply pressure.

Also let’s not suggest that unwanted pregnancies didn’t happen throughout all of history. Women were just shipped off to a convent or similar and had their children ripped from their arms or ostracised from their communities. Yeah good idea, let’s go back to that 👍🏻