To not pay for an unwanted child?

[Anudawan]

Hypothetical.

it came up at work today.

if the pregnancy was a result of a one night stand, regardless of whether precautions were taken, if the man doesn’t want the pregnancy and the woman decides to continue, should he be able to opt out of child support?

my personal answer and I’m not sure on the nuance (ie do you have be on the birth certificate and thus can claim parental responsibility in order to be compelled to pay maintenance or a dna test to compel the man) my personal answer is no, he cannot or shouldn’t be able to opt out once the child is born. All sex (with a woman of reproductive age) carries the risk of pregnancy, you can lower the risk but never fully remove it. Abstinence is the only way to do that. To do the action you’ve got to be prepared for the consequences. It’s very easy to flippantly say ‘get an abortion’ but for some women that isn’t viable.

@Ghosttofu99 thanks, glad you read/found it interesting.

It’s very thorough in addressing all the “Yeah, but…” arguments! 💥

Men and women do have the same choice over what happens to their bodies.

The difference is where the choice ends. Mens choice ends when the sperm leaves his body. No contraception is 100% effective so he can choose to accept the risk if pregnancy or solely have sex with women he wants to procreate with.

@Bertiel33 but as a woman I can have as much sex as I like and know I will never have to conceive a child. Not really the same is it?

Fertility issues aside, how can you know you will never conceive a child from sex??

How?
Women who don't want their baby abort it or give it up for adoption. They're not expected to continue paying for a cold they don't want.
They had sex just like a man with an unwanted pregnancy, but they're not punished with child support for a unwanted child. They're allowed to give it away

Only if you were misled. I.e hole in condom, or they had sex with you without consent.

To reply to the several who have quoted my post and asked questions, like i said, unpopular opinion.
Also i know it would never actually be workable as a law because there's no way to prove if contraception was used or not and he said she said. It's just what i personally think would be the fair way to let BOTH genders have some say in becoming a parent or not. If a woman cannot be forced to be a parent and can choose abortion men should be able to choose not to be held responsible for babies they dont want because they obviously cannot force a woman to have an abortion. When pregnancy occurs women hold all the cards, can choose to keep when partner doesnt want to be a parent, or abort even if partner desperately wants the baby.

Basically we need more research for male birth control, women have tons of options, men get condom or the snip. They need something less parmanent than sterilisation, but more reliable than a condom.

To the person who said how would it be fair to the child as it only focuses on parents wants not childs needs, that would fall on the mother who knows she'd be going it alone financially. Her ability to provide for the child should be part of her decision to keep as solo financier, or abort if she cannot afford it by herself.

I think even Solomon would find it hard to judge this situation correctly! Because, you know, people don’t always tell the truth about their actions (especially when ‘carried away’ by lust).

Do you think it is so easy just to get an abortion or give a child away for adoption?
The burden of contraception falls so much on women, it's always our fault when it fails and men should be allowed to shag whoever they want without any regard to the consequences.
Men have choices, I don't know why that's so hard to accept.

Ok probably should've said "carry a child to term" then instead of conceive. But we have enough forms of contraception to make conceiving a child we don't want very unlikely.

This

I have a great deal of sympathy for decent men who find themselves in the position of reluctant fatherhood. Abstinence as a method of contraception is simply not grounded in reality.

I firmly believe that men should NOT be able to opt out of supporting a child that they have fathered, and that the current system for child support in this country is not fit for purpose and that children are suffering as a result.

These things can both be true simultaneously. You can acknowledge that yes, it is a crappy situation for a man to be in, whilst also making sure that he pays for his child, for the sake of that child.

No contraception is 100%

Regarding ‘more research for male birth control’, Gabrielle Blair comments in her article:

“But what about birth control? If a woman doesn’t want to risk an unwanted pregnancy, why wouldn’t she just use birth control? If a women can manage to figure out how to get an abortion, surely she can get birth control, right? Great questions.

Modern birth control is possibly the greatest invention of the last century, and I am very grateful for it. It’s also brutal. The side effects for many women are ridiculously harmful. So ridiculous, that when an oral contraception for men was created, it wasn’t approved because of the side effects. And the list of side effects was about a third as long as the known side effects for women’s oral contraception.”

I had a pregnancy from a ons and he won't pay. Won't be involved in his daughter's life.

Kinda sad really...

But his choice.

I get money from him or else I would have starved.

I'm now married with three children

Or just not have sex with random men

This!

my opinion is controversial as well…

I think that on the whole men should be responsible for maintaining both a financial as well as an emotional responsibility towards their child. However I think that there is one exception, which is if the woman fails to name him on the birth certificate.

If you want the father to be responsible for the child then that should be in every way, you shouldn’t just get to pick or choose.

The state would have to change to make it so that the woman could add the man’s name to the birth certificate at the time of registration, so if she failed to do so then she wouldn’t be able to pursue him for maintenance.

But otherwise he should pay.

And have parental responsibility.

if a man doesn’t want a child then he absolutely shouldn’t be having unprotected sex in a short term relationship. I presume that longer term relationships are built on trust and so that is different.

But likewise, if a woman doesn’t want a man to have parental responsibility for a child they have created together, then she shouldn’t be having unprotected sex, or should go into the pregnancy knowing that if she doesn’t give him responsibility then she will be raising the child alone.

The difference is where the choice ends. Mens choice ends when the sperm leaves his body. No contraception is 100% effective so he can choose to accept the risk if pregnancy or solely have sex with women he wants to procreate with.

That's the crux of the matter. Everything else is just whataboutery. It's a simple biological reality.

So ‘random men’ get a pass for consequence-free hot sex but women don’t?

Interesting.

The mother can't name the father on the birth certificate unless he is present (unless they are married). So if he's not going, she can't do anything. He can apply to the court to be added on if he wishes. So, it's the father that has control in this situation.

For those arguing the man should be allowed to opt out, what do you suggest happens to the child born as a result if the mother is opposed to abortion but also does not want to be responsible for the child?

It's easy for some, harder for others, but it's still a choice. Women have choices to get rid of children they don't want. A man wanting nothing to do with an unwanted child is no different then a woman giving her child up for adoption or aborting. Both don't want to raise that child. The only difference is women are given the ability to get rid of unwanted children.

And don't have a lot of options. They have one! Condoms are the only birth control option for men.
For those saying a man should get a vasectomy if they don't want a kid at that point in their life, should women who choose to get an abortion be sterilized? Why not?

Baby is placed in the care of the state