To not pay for an unwanted child?

[Anudawan]

Hypothetical.

it came up at work today.

if the pregnancy was a result of a one night stand, regardless of whether precautions were taken, if the man doesn’t want the pregnancy and the woman decides to continue, should he be able to opt out of child support?

my personal answer and I’m not sure on the nuance (ie do you have be on the birth certificate and thus can claim parental responsibility in order to be compelled to pay maintenance or a dna test to compel the man) my personal answer is no, he cannot or shouldn’t be able to opt out once the child is born. All sex (with a woman of reproductive age) carries the risk of pregnancy, you can lower the risk but never fully remove it. Abstinence is the only way to do that. To do the action you’ve got to be prepared for the consequences. It’s very easy to flippantly say ‘get an abortion’ but for some women that isn’t viable.

Dang I don’t have twitter

No, they can't opt out. Wear a condom correctly and take the male pill - double up contraception, that's what many women do if they don't want to risk it. Do they even still make the male pill? Vasectomy if they're sure they never want (more) kids.

100% agree and then he’s stuck paying child maintenance for the next 18 years.
But I guess some men don’t help themselves and some shag anything with a pulse so probably have multiple kids everywhere.

Don't get your dick wet

@Anudawan found a non-Twitter version by the author “Men are Responsible for 100% of Unwanted Pregnancies”

(happens to come from an abortion-averse stance) but the points made re consequences/accountability around pregnancy are still valid… and very witty!

https://www.huffingtonpost.co.uk/entry/abortion-pregnancy-pro-life_uk_5ba20e08e4b046313fc0bda5

???

The question is quite clear:

"my personal answer is no, he cannot or shouldn’t be able to opt out once the child is born"

NB: I was wondering what % of those who consider it acceptable for men to abnegate responsibility are men.

A man causing a pregnancy, unless he has had a vasectomy, should have no say in what happens afterwards. Maybe there ought to be some sort of insurance after vasectomy so that he is not financially liable if it fails?
Given that sex was consensual both parties are liable, but it is the woman who risks health and even her life during gestation. Therefore the man should support her or financially recompense at this point (loss of earnings, etc.) or pay for any costs involved in an abortion. These days it is easy to prove fatherhood.
Afterwards the cost of raising the child should be born by both parents, via PAYE or docking benefits or some other means.

Yes I think a man should have the right to give up all parental rights.

Nailed it.

The "debate" over whether a man should have to pay or not, always baffles me.

I put this exact question to teen DCs (one boy, one girl) a few months ago. Both were amazed that the man in a ONS is liable for child support. It made for an interesting discussion. I would recommend it as a topic of discussion over dinner - I’m a feminist and raise my DCs in accordance with my values, but sometimes things can get missed. It certainly was an eye opener for them.

Hopefully you teach them ons are wrong

I clicked on YABU assuming YABU might be 99.9 % with the odd very hard of thinking 0.1% voting YANBU.

Don't want to run the risk of making a baby? Get a vasectomy or don't have sex

He had the chance to opt out but chose not to when he chose to jizz where he did. He made a choice to opt in at that point.

One: it has nothing to do with frogmarching anyone anywhere. It’s two people each making the decision that best suits them.

Two: he has no responsibility towards the child or the woman if he has been clear that he doesn’t want the child brought into existence.

I really don’t think anyone should force men to be a father, as much as I believe women shouldn’t be forced to be a mother - women are rightly able to choose whether to abort or not. Imagine saying to a woman “you chose to have sex so no abortion for you”.

There are also women who try to trap men into becoming fathers for various reasons. Some lie that they’re on contraception, some may say they can’t conceive.

I think men should be told as early as possible and then they can contractually sign a document to say what their choice is - it’s then down to the woman whether she goes ahead on her own or not.

He literally does though, which is why it's (thankfully!) enshrined in law.

An unborn child can't choose not to be born, can it? As in "I know you didn't want me to be born dad. I decided to be anyway, against your wishes, but in doing so I waive my right to any child maintenance". The man may not have any responsibility towards the woman, but he does have towards the child. Wild that it even has to be explained 😶

Common sense answer ^

Which way round is it supposed to be?

Anyone who thinks a man can opt out of paying to support children he created is so unreasonable it's not even worth debating. If men don't want children, get a vasectomy or don't have sex.

The only foolproof way of a bloke being “clear that he doesn’t want the child brought into existence” is to refrain from intercourse.

Rather than teaching them ONS are wrong, I would rather they have all the information to make an informed decision. Teens (and many adults…) have poor impulse control. That’s why it’s important they know the facts - and the law - beforehand.

ONS can also be very satisfying if both parties are consenting. I don’t agree that they are fundamentally “wrong”.

Two: he has no responsibility towards the child or the woman if he has been clear that he doesn’t want the child brought into existence.

At the risk of getting a deletion that has to be one of the stupidest things I've read on here.

You can teach them they are wrong, it's not something to do,...

“There’s a lot to be unpacked just in that story, but I’ll simply point out, in case you weren’t aware, that as a society, we really don’t mind if women suffer, physically or mentally, as long as it makes things easier for men.”

Brilliant article, thanks for sharing

So true. The only consideration here should be the innocent one, which is the child. Disgusts me that anyone can think otherwise.

I have said this on other threads.
Yes any man that gets a woman pregnant should be paying for their child.

Here is the bit that people don't like, DNA testing should be standard at birth, that way the Father cannot get out of it and the CM should be garnished straight from their wages.