It’s goodbye from me

[solongandthxforthefish]

I’ve been on mumsnet since the early days, it’s seen my family grow up and become adults, seen me become a grandparent.

its been a happy place, a supportive place through thick and thin and I’ve made lots of contacts who I will miss.

the supportive threads are being lost amongst ones of hatred and intolerance for difference, for the others and by threads about high incomes not being enough, of how disabled people are increasingly hated, how children with SEND are an inconvenience. Boomers, of which I am not one, are hated.

is there anybody mumsnet members actually like?

im taking a break, however long is needed until the hatred is less.

The first reply on a thread is nearly always awful. I think there must be people who browse the unanswered threads so that they can quickly post something callous. I tend to look for threads that are already busy, or if something sounds sad then I’ll try to say something kind at least. But yeah, it’s nearly always the dicks that get in there first.

@Luddite26 Ageism is so charming!

@Potsofpetals I have severe disabilities and I agree with you about TikTok!

Don't confuse difference of opinion with hatred. I disagree with you OP but truly, I feel no hatred.

Don't deny the rampant ableism and spite on here. Also if you want disabled people to work make work more disabled friendly.

Agree.

It used to be a lovely supportive place by and large. Now there are always those who seem intent on judging and belittling and are nothing less than internet bullies.

And there is almost always someone who weighs in with the stupid "Why are you posting here" judgement you should be doing x, y, z. 🙄

I would agree that the place has changed over the past few years, sometimes I read threads and cannot believe the responses.
I have been here for maybe 10 to 12 years.
I flounced myself a while ago because I was on a politics thread and the number of clearly bot posts was beyond belief, and MN HQ deleted me for saying something alluding to that.
I am now a grandmother, so was wondering about gransnet but I think i will steer clear.
Good luck OP I fully understand but I am a bit lonely and do enjoy some of the things I read on here.

Was she the one that did the potty training threads?

Yes, I think this is totally true, and a very perceptive comment. I always used to consider myself on the (quite far) left, but seeing how leftists have behaved over the years, especially about women’s rights and how some other groups of people have been treated, has made me rethink everything in the past few years. Now I would say I’m more heterodox.

It does seem to be a delete-on-demand policy now, for both threads and posts.

Wondering that too 🤔

"Oh can't you take a joke?" the hallmark of a gaslighter.

your tone was sneery as were several others,

i can't stand when someone posts that they find MN a nasty place to be, and along come the sneerers to prove the point.

why do that???

@OhMaria2 The worst ableism is the systemic ableism of the mods, and the toxicity of low expectations.

Oh God yes I remember "Cod". People used to worship her and think she hilarious when she was actually a bit of a dickhead.

There was a real clique when i joined back in 2007 who would just have conversations amongst eachother on threads whist ignoring those not in the group and had lots of "in jokes" 🙄 It wasn't that friendly a place for newbies then at all. Now people name change so often it's actually more inclusive as the cliques have gone.

Anyone done the hilarious airport gag yet ?

Next its the income tax, and sons and daughters being drafted for the war if things get worse. I,ll get the popcorn at least the fit and able will be working.

@daisychain01 Joking about someone leaving the site isn’t gaslighting, and using the term incorrectly like that is incredibly insulting to people who have experienced genuine gaslighting in abusive situations.

Oh, I see someone's answered the COD query.

This.

So yes, YABVVVU to use this topic and not ask what YABU about.

I've been on here over 20 years too, and don't agree with very much at all of your OP.

However, if you want to stop using the site, then stop. No-one needs an announcement.

Gaslighting is not a protected term @verysmellyjelly It can be used about someone who makes a sneery remark then pretends it's "light hearted". Disingenuous then if you prefer.

And sarcasm the lowest form of wit.

The fact this thread is slowly descending into chaos is delicious irony…

It still has a specific meaning.

I hope we can get the system back to a point where people like you struggle jelly.

Agreed. It’s the opposite of ableism. People who are genuinely disabled should be outraged at those who are scrounging.

But you can’t say this. The left believe that ANYONE who claims they have a protected characteristic is absolutely always telling the truth and there is absolutely nobody ever lying or gaming the system. People who are lying and gaming the system are the biggest ableists of all!