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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to continue turning in the school gate?

488 replies

NortonBuns · 19/03/2025 14:18

I drive my dd to school everyday and once I drop her off I turn around and drive home. I approach the back gate of the school and use this entrance to turn my car round so I can head back home.
The school have now put up a sign saying keep our children safe, no stopping, dropping off or turning in the entrance.
So where am I supposed to turn around? If I carry on I reach the front gate which is busier and has the busses. If I turn before I reach the back entrance I am doing a three point turn in busy school run traffic with lots of children walking and cycling.
So AIBU to say I am safest turning in the large double gate and ignoring the new sign?

OP posts:
Rainingalldayonmyhead · 21/03/2025 08:02

OP the sign is there for a reason and applies to you. You aren’t special or entitled to ignore it.

The solution which you don’t seem to want to do is continue town to the main gate where all the traffic is. You are turning around and trying to justify it to avoid the traffic because it inconveniences you. Continue down the road. Clearly the school know parents drive and they also know they are turning around there so keep going down the road.

MumOnBus · 21/03/2025 08:09

Or you can go by bus.

AnnaQuayInTheUk · 21/03/2025 08:28

@NortonBuns you've still not explained why you're driving your DD to school rather than driving her to a bus stop.

And I still don't believe there is any road in the UK. with schools, shops, businesses etc that has a two mile stretch with no side roads.

grumpypedestrian · 21/03/2025 08:47

Probably because OP thinks they and their child are too good for public transport. It’s far easier to ignore school requests to make the school safe than go slightly out of their way.

August1980 · 21/03/2025 09:14

Pancakeflipper · 19/03/2025 14:21

Oh absolutely, you need to put yourself first and ignore any school requests.

lol.

MumChp · 21/03/2025 09:15

Notanother0nee · 19/03/2025 14:20

This can’t be serious…

Are you insane or a troll?

Sorry I was not asking the quoted but OP.

Brefugee · 21/03/2025 09:56

Yes, OP. You are very special and should continue to do this even though the school say not to.

Other parents should, of course, cease forthwith.

friendlycat · 21/03/2025 10:00

I've never really seen a thread where it's unanimous to stop doing this. I wonder whether the OP is still ignoring the signs?

MeandT · 21/03/2025 10:13

NortonBuns · 19/03/2025 18:26

I have had a go at a drawing but obviously not to scale as the school is about 2 miles from the a road. There are houses all along the road to the school but no side roads.
The arrows show my route in.

Come on OP, dig around in the drawers for the big girl pants for both you and your daughter and you WILL find solutions which are SAFER for other pupils arriving on foot using this gate you turn in (which the school has gone to some time & effort to procure & affix not just a sign, but a BANNER - as you described it - asking parents, ALL parents, not to do this). Your diagram didn't include the pedestrian walkway & zebra crossing you mentioned (or the position of the enormous banner asking you not to turn there), so all we have to go on is that the school is quite certain they do not want parents turning cars in the gateway, but you & ~10% of other parents STILL feel special enough to ignore this.

These solutions which are SAFER may take you more time, they may require hybrid means of transport, they may involve experiencing weather, they may involve walking further than a couple of hundred metres. But they won't involve ignoring the school's safety requests not to turn in their gateway or neighbouring business' car parks.

DD is either eligible to access help for transport to school from your local authority (living 6 miles away) OR

  1. she's at a private school and you don't live on one of their bus routes
  2. she was eligible for a nearer state school but you opted to send her to this one because it was in some way more beneficial to you
  3. you've been offered a council transport option but don't find it convenient so drive her in yourself

which of these is it @NortonBuns ?

If eligible, get the application in & find out where your nearest bus stop is to drop her, so she can get to school the same way as the other 90% of pupils & arrive at the main gate. https://www.gov.uk/free-school-transport#:~:text=Children%20of%20compulsory%20school%20age,child%20is%208%20or%20over

Otherwise, the A road you approach from is only 2 miles from the gate, and high school pupils are expected to walk up to 3 miles each way before qualifying for free transport (per link above). So I suspect you are probably not casting the net wide enough for places which are safe for you to stop & return home, and still within what is considered a reasonable distance to walk to school at her age.

It feels like you are deciding it's unreasonable for her to walk 50 minutes in in the morning, when it's a national policy that it's perfectly reasonable. By extension, if you still dropped her to the gate but didn't turn, I'm sure it wouldn't take you fully 50 minutes to get out if continued via the main gate to return home.

It's just INCONVENIENT.

The school has been quite clear they don't want your convenience trumping pupil safety in the morning. Even if it adds time to you or DDs daily trip in. Unblock your tin ears & find a solution!

Free school transport

Free transport from your local council - eligibility, rules for children with special educational needs and disabilities (SEND), how to apply

https://www.gov.uk/free-school-transport#:~:text=Children%20of%20compulsory%20school%20age,child%20is%208%20or%20over

Cabinqueen · 21/03/2025 10:14

TeenLifeMum · 19/03/2025 23:24

So you’d have to drive 4 minutes out of your way before turning round? (Assuming 30mph limit for the 2 miles). Just add 8 minutes onto your planning. I get why that would be frustrating but reversing into an entrance where dc are walking isn’t an appropriate solution. How embarrassing you needed the school to explain that and make a sign.

Yup, this...

PurpleThistle7 · 21/03/2025 10:28

There are many, many solutions besides being 'that' parent but she clearly is invested in being 'that' parent so isn't particularly interested in problem solving. She didn't even ask for a solution - just asked if it was reasonable to carry on doing something that school thinks is so awful they actually invested time and resources in to PRINTING A BANNER to stop it. Everyone else either deals with the faff or finds a way around it but she just doesn't feel like it.

Am totally bewildered at why a high school student needs to be dropped off right at the gate of their school - baring some sort of disability of course but that would have been mentioned by now. Am 100% sure if you drew a 2 mile radius around the school there would be many, many options to avoid this silliness.

TattyBluebell · 21/03/2025 10:45

Just read some of this thread and seen the diagram. Probably a divvy question but what is up the A road? Maybe it's already been answered but I was scrolling quickly.
I don't want to give my opinion just yet.

MeandT · 21/03/2025 11:23

I don't think it's even relevant what's up the A road, is it @TattyBluebell?

Going back to the OP @NortonBuns:

Q: "..where am I supposed to turn around?"
A: You're not - that's explicitly what the school is stating on the very clear new banner.

OP: "If I carry on I reach the front gate which is busier and has the busses."
A: Yes. It is busier. So it will be slower. You have stated you do all you can to avoid this route at all times as a route to continue into town because it is busy and slow. It does however involve continuing straight along a road wide enough for buses, in a forwards direction, without turning across rush hour traffic. This is clearly the school's preferred and suggested solution (other than parents not going anywhere near it in a car at all). The OP just doesn't fancy it because it's slow & not convenient for them. (I would say her, but the sustained level of belligerence on the thread has me wondering whether it's a Dad writing?)

OP: "If I turn before I reach the back entrance I am doing a three point turn in busy school run traffic with lots of children walking and cycling."
A: Agreed. You have clearly risked-assessed this as being a poor and unsafe option. Well done. Do not start doing this.

Q: "So AIBU to say I am safest turning in the large double gate and ignoring the new sign?"
A: Yes, YABVU. Do not ignore the new sign! You have now been asked by the school not to turn in this gateway AT ALL. You are safest continuing past the main gate in slow traffic. If this is too inconvenient to bear, other suggestions have been made which still don't involve turning anywhere along the school's road - including in the large double gateway the school has specifically put up a banner to ask you not to turn in.

HTH.

angela1952 · 21/03/2025 11:44

I don't understand why the OP can't grasp that the school have only imposed this ban because they believe it is safer for the children. I used to avoid driving to the front of the school as it was packed and dangerous, surely there is somewhere else where the OP can park and walk to school? I used to have a 10 minute walk to avoid the carnage at the front of the school, but it was worth it.

TattyBluebell · 21/03/2025 12:42

MeandT · 21/03/2025 11:23

I don't think it's even relevant what's up the A road, is it @TattyBluebell?

Going back to the OP @NortonBuns:

Q: "..where am I supposed to turn around?"
A: You're not - that's explicitly what the school is stating on the very clear new banner.

OP: "If I carry on I reach the front gate which is busier and has the busses."
A: Yes. It is busier. So it will be slower. You have stated you do all you can to avoid this route at all times as a route to continue into town because it is busy and slow. It does however involve continuing straight along a road wide enough for buses, in a forwards direction, without turning across rush hour traffic. This is clearly the school's preferred and suggested solution (other than parents not going anywhere near it in a car at all). The OP just doesn't fancy it because it's slow & not convenient for them. (I would say her, but the sustained level of belligerence on the thread has me wondering whether it's a Dad writing?)

OP: "If I turn before I reach the back entrance I am doing a three point turn in busy school run traffic with lots of children walking and cycling."
A: Agreed. You have clearly risked-assessed this as being a poor and unsafe option. Well done. Do not start doing this.

Q: "So AIBU to say I am safest turning in the large double gate and ignoring the new sign?"
A: Yes, YABVU. Do not ignore the new sign! You have now been asked by the school not to turn in this gateway AT ALL. You are safest continuing past the main gate in slow traffic. If this is too inconvenient to bear, other suggestions have been made which still don't involve turning anywhere along the school's road - including in the large double gateway the school has specifically put up a banner to ask you not to turn in.

HTH.

I think it is relevant actually. Are there places to turn, roundabouts on it etc!

DdraigGoch · 21/03/2025 13:42

Just cycle. It'll be good for both of you. Electric assistance if it's too hilly.

Griff1963 · 21/03/2025 15:18

Park down the road and walk!

Cheezmysta42 · 21/03/2025 16:10

Just drive past the school, turn in a side road and then drop your kid off facing home?

Bluedenimdoglover · 21/03/2025 17:15

Are you special or what? Do reasonable requests only apply to other drivers. This cannot be a serious post.

Blacksheepcat · 21/03/2025 17:18

Drop her at the nearest bus stop so she can get the bus to the front gate?

stillwaitingtobepaid · 21/03/2025 19:26

Just do as you are told and what is safe for the children at the school!!

BadlyDrawnRoy · 22/03/2025 07:10

Three days after asking your original question, and still you're trying to justify your sense of entitlement, even though 97% of people think you are being unreasonable. Time to give up asking the same question, and getting the same answer (yes, you are unreasonable, stop being so bloody lazy and endangering other people's children), surely?
I've never seen a question so daft, and putting out "entitled"vibes quite as clearly as yours.
Clown.

BadlyDrawnRoy · 22/03/2025 07:12

Rainingalldayonmyhead · 21/03/2025 08:02

OP the sign is there for a reason and applies to you. You aren’t special or entitled to ignore it.

The solution which you don’t seem to want to do is continue town to the main gate where all the traffic is. You are turning around and trying to justify it to avoid the traffic because it inconveniences you. Continue down the road. Clearly the school know parents drive and they also know they are turning around there so keep going down the road.

Yes, the OP is special. Very special indeed....

Rainingalldayonmyhead · 22/03/2025 16:54

BadlyDrawnRoy · 22/03/2025 07:12

Yes, the OP is special. Very special indeed....

I wish I had this special status and didn’t have to abide by the rules because I am polite, considerate and rule following.

Is it a special designation I can obtain or pay for? Or is it just self awarded 😂?

BadlyDrawnRoy · 22/03/2025 17:20

Rainingalldayonmyhead · 22/03/2025 16:54

I wish I had this special status and didn’t have to abide by the rules because I am polite, considerate and rule following.

Is it a special designation I can obtain or pay for? Or is it just self awarded 😂?

Seems you also think the OP is a very, very special kind of special....

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