DH retiring and how to sort money

[Moneyponders]

Posting here for traffic! My DH is going to retire at 55. I totally agree with this decision as his job is extremely stressful.

He will get a lump sum of £60k and £900pm.

I am self employed and he has said he will help me run my business. In my busy periods this will be a good thing. But not necessary as I’ve managed alone for 15 years!

I don’t know how to sort the money though? He currently sends me £1k a month which covers his half of the bills. When he retires (in 2 years) the bills will be lower because the mortgage will be finished. His half of the bills without food will be £300. With food probably £500/£600. I’d feel bad taking £500 of his £900 if he’s helping me. But a lot of the time I actually don’t need help and I’m going to be £1k a month down.

Can’t see the wood for the trees! What do you think? Should I just pay for everything?

He needs to work part time. That way he can help in your busy times, but also have his own independent income.
It sounds like the business is possibly ‘your baby’ and it may be difficult to share it full time.

I don’t understand why he is retiring. He’s super young and not wealthy and it doesn’t seem sustainable. He can certainly get a different job but he can’t afford to retire if you aren’t going to support him. A theoretical inheritance in however many years isn’t a plan at all.

Who owns the house? Can you downsize?

Pay the bills proportionately so he brings in approximately a quarter of thr income, so he pays a quarter of the bills. But as he's retired I'd expect him to pick up the majority of the housework etc.

He would only be living in poverty if his wife chose to financially abuse him.

I would tell him that the 900 will be yours every month. (He could always rent a room somewhere else and go back to dating you, I might prefer that if I were you).

Another one here who doesn't understand why you married such a financially illiterate guy.

He's clearly expecting you to support him - you have to be clear that you'll pay for discretionary things like trips and holidays but bills, food and home maintenance must come out of income.

Therefore his projected pension is not enough and he needs a PT job of some sort (which is not anything to do with your business) to plug the gap.

OP - I think people are being harsh. In your situation I don’t think anyone would realistically want to subsidise their partner stopping work.

Why on earth would the OP make a profit from him?! She’s literally said half the bills would be £300.

I don’t think £900 per month, 60k lump sum (so about 2.5k interest), no mortgage and eventual state pension sounds too bad.

It's really not your place to define other peoples' relationships for them.

But we can't all realistically retire on 900 a month at aged 55 and expect our partners to support us, just because we want to!

Rather than completely retire. He would be better retiring feom his current role and looking for a lower level, lower stress job

So basically he is used to you funding his lifestyle….

And he is banking you’ll do that again.
The ‘I’ll help you with the business’ can Akso because nice ploy to get money from the business whilst doing very little (only when you’re too busy) but completely unable to find another source of income for himself.

🚩🚩 are starting to appear imo.

I can’t help with solutions but imagine in a similar situation, he has a sipp so will draw down once savings get lower but thankfully he has inherited enough to cover until state retirement kicks in we think

You keep ignoring the bit where the mortgage is paid off by then so surely that is one large outgoing that no longer needs to be paid?

Tbh i dont know why you have encouraged him to think it's feasible to retire at 55 on a pension of just 900 a month when you have no intention. Of financially supporting him.

He can't afford to retire.

He obviously can't afford to retire at 55 (how many people manage to retire at 55 nowadays?!) unless he is heavily subsidised by you @Moneyponders . Either he gets another job to make up for his expenses or he spends his 60k savings and then gets another job. The possible inheritance is irrelevant. Who knows what may happen to this in the next 10 or 20 years. It may all be spent on care.
Speak to him and suggest that he gets another job. Tell him that you can manage your business fine without him but that you would value the additional income.

Retiring is a JOINT decision. You can’t just decide to stop working!

https://www.which.co.uk/money/pensions-and-retirement/planning-your-retirement/how-much-will-you-need-to-retire-aNmlv7V7sVe9

This is quite interesting OP. Which lifestyle do you both choose? He is opting for frugal less some.

Are you happy with frugal lifestyle, really 900/month is not enough for frugal.

He'll have £60k for that?

This is madness.
Are you actually married? If you are whatever is his is legally half yours and vice versa. There's no 'him keeping inheritance' and you basically expecting him to live on little more than fresh air.
What a bizarre arrangement!
My husband earns considerably more than me. We pool all our money including one off stuff like tax back or if we happened to be gifted something unexpectedly. We then divide up whats left into revolut pockets for holidays, groceries, medical, house repairs etc and some 'fun' money each to do with as we please.
If you couldn't work for any reason illness etc you would expect him to provide for you and rightly so. You are a married couple, not flat mates at college!

You'll enjoy the inheritance if and when it comes. I agree with PP that you absolutely cannot rely on this but also that you cannot say with certainty his parent will live another 20 years. They could pass much sooner.

I find this attitude towards money between married couples so unhealthy.

What if OP shut her business and decided to retire too? How would that work?

why Did you marry him I hope you got the property etc kept to just you and proper wills set up

It really doesn't sound like he can afford to retire OP. Which isn't surprising - most of us can't afford to retire at 55.

Because they are married. They own a house and it will need repairs.

How can. 300 be half of food, bills, holidays, trips out?!

Take a look at the which guide.

I can't believe that anyone on here only spends 3600 a year on half of their family's expenses.

In my first marriage we pooled everything. We both came to the table with nothing as teenagers. He cheated on me for 20 years. I left. This marriage was a later in life one. I came to the table with a house and kids . He came to the table bankrupt. It’s a different footing. He’s a prolific spender. I am not. I don’t want to pool finances at this stage of life. Maybe hard to understand if you haven’t been there. He’s absolutely lovely and I love him to bits but we are on different pages financially. He has 3 cars that bleed him dry. I don’t want any part of that.