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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Sell the story, if so to who?

316 replies

cupsandcupsoftea · 18/03/2025 20:15

I'm unsure about this but I'm on dating sites and as we all know it's full of parasites.

I was speaking to an elected councillor who I thought was decent, he sent me nudes, vulgar text etc. He swiftly deleted it but it's really wrong, I have screenshot etc. He was disgusting.

I'm not on about selling per se for money but we shouldn't have creeps like this representing us.

OP posts:
CalleOcho · 18/03/2025 21:38

cupsandcupsoftea · 18/03/2025 20:16

If so, how? I'm not wanting money just to expose.

If you SELL a story then yes, you want to make a profit.

If you want him to be (rightly so) punished for sexual harassment then you need to report it straight away to the police. Report it to his local authority where he is a councillor.

Baffles me how people come to Mumsnet with this stuff instead of using their brain.

wickerlady · 18/03/2025 21:38

OP nobody is going to pay you for this non-story.

wordler · 18/03/2025 21:39

cupsandcupsoftea · 18/03/2025 21:28

I don't think the site matters, wasn't tinder btw.

We were just chatting about normal stuff then then he got disgusting so I didn't reply. I assumed someone was impersonating him so found the number from the council site sent a message and turns out it was really him then the nudes etc.

He deleted them as I never said anything to encourage him. Nothing. He was grim.

Show quote history

“Then he got disgusting”

By this do you mean he started talking about sex and what he’d like to do?

Is this the first time you have tried online dating? Many men join those sites primarily to have sex first and a relationship maybe later.

At that point you either simply block and move on or if you think you’d like to try to proceed you let him know your firm boundaries.

“I’m looking for someone to date and get to know before moving things in that direction - I’m not comfortable sexting at this point”

Then if he can’t respect that boundary you block and move on.

Original poster
cupsandcupsoftea · 18/03/2025 21:39

FluffyDashhound · 18/03/2025 21:37

You sound a nut job. You went on a dating app you liked him You went to the effort of getting his number obviously sent messages yourself of such content and then got nudes as a result. I bet you wasn't asking what colour tie he wore to work was you?

I got his number as I assumed it was a scammed but it wasn't. I sent nothing at all of the sort.

OP posts:
Chromaover · 18/03/2025 21:39

If you do this, people will be awful to you in the comments on whichever newspaper site it's published on. They'll find your social media and be awful to you there too. Your employer may disapline you for bringing them into disrepute.

Honestly, a story of 'man behaves like many other men' isn't worth it and it'll get you fuck all money besides.

LlynTegid · 18/03/2025 21:39

I don't think you should sell the story. If he represents a political party, complain to them. If then they decline to act, then you could make it public, via a newspaper, but should take no money.

andthat · 18/03/2025 21:40

Dont know why you’re getting such a hard time on here @cupsandcupsoftea

If these messages are as unsolicited and horrible as you say they are… then why shouldn’t you call him out on it?

And why should it matter to anyone how you do that?

Go to the police and the head of council. From a media perspective journalists will report on whatever is in the public interest. The problem you have is that they can’t judge that without seeing the evidence you have. You can’t share the nudes you were sent but you can show the text messages. Let them be the judge of whether it’s newsworthy given his position, or not.

No woman needs to put up with shit like this. And you have every right to tell whoever you want about this behaviour.

I doubt you’ll make any money out of it… but if you do. then more power to you. He shouldn’t have done it in the first place!!

Original poster
cupsandcupsoftea · 18/03/2025 21:41

lifeonmars100 · 18/03/2025 21:38

You found a local councillor's phone number on a government website? this sounds highly improbable....

Show quote history

Google it, mobile numbers are online.

OP posts:
Original poster
cupsandcupsoftea · 18/03/2025 21:42

andthat · 18/03/2025 21:40

Dont know why you’re getting such a hard time on here @cupsandcupsoftea

If these messages are as unsolicited and horrible as you say they are… then why shouldn’t you call him out on it?

And why should it matter to anyone how you do that?

Go to the police and the head of council. From a media perspective journalists will report on whatever is in the public interest. The problem you have is that they can’t judge that without seeing the evidence you have. You can’t share the nudes you were sent but you can show the text messages. Let them be the judge of whether it’s newsworthy given his position, or not.

No woman needs to put up with shit like this. And you have every right to tell whoever you want about this behaviour.

I doubt you’ll make any money out of it… but if you do. then more power to you. He shouldn’t have done it in the first place!!

Thanks, I worded it wrong. I don't want money I just wanted to expose. Thanks.

OP posts:
JanglingJack · 18/03/2025 21:42

So he's not local, but you recognised him.
Maybe I've given on my merry band of thieving councillors, but I still wouldn't know their faces (robbers wear masks) or names.
Let alone someone who worked for a different council...

Livpool · 18/03/2025 21:42

Exactly!

And I am assuming he didn’t do anything illegal - was just a bit of a creep (after he was stalked!), no one will care. Why would anyone be interested in this?

Livpool · 18/03/2025 21:42

Haricots · 18/03/2025 20:33

So he was horrible on the app

you found / stalked his mobile

and then messaged him thereby giving this person your mobile number. The person who was a “bit horrible” on the app

Show quote history

Exactly!

And I am assuming he didn’t do anything illegal - was just a bit of a creep (after he was stalked!), no one will care. Why would anyone be interested in this?

Livpool · 18/03/2025 21:42

Exactly!

And I am assuming he didn’t do anything illegal - was just a bit of a creep (after he was stalked!), no one will care. Why would anyone be interested in this?

Livpool · 18/03/2025 21:42

Exactly!

And I am assuming he didn’t do anything illegal - was just a bit of a creep (after he was stalked!), no one will care. Why would anyone be interested in this?

Livpool · 18/03/2025 21:42

Exactly!

And I am assuming he didn’t do anything illegal - was just a bit of a creep (after he was stalked!), no one will care. Why would anyone be interested in this?

Livpool · 18/03/2025 21:42

Exactly!

And I am assuming he didn’t do anything illegal - was just a bit of a creep (after he was stalked!), no one will care. Why would anyone be interested in this?

Livpool · 18/03/2025 21:42

Exactly!

And I am assuming he didn’t do anything illegal - was just a bit of a creep (after he was stalked!), no one will care. Why would anyone be interested in this?

Livpool · 18/03/2025 21:42

Exactly!

And I am assuming he didn’t do anything illegal - was just a bit of a creep (after he was stalked!), no one will care. Why would anyone be interested in this?

Livpool · 18/03/2025 21:42

Haricots · 18/03/2025 20:33

So he was horrible on the app

you found / stalked his mobile

and then messaged him thereby giving this person your mobile number. The person who was a “bit horrible” on the app

Show quote history

Exactly!

And I am assuming he didn’t do anything illegal - was just a bit of a creep (after he was stalked!), no one will care. Why would anyone be interested in this?

Livpool · 18/03/2025 21:42

Haricots · 18/03/2025 20:33

So he was horrible on the app

you found / stalked his mobile

and then messaged him thereby giving this person your mobile number. The person who was a “bit horrible” on the app

Show quote history

Exactly!

And I am assuming he didn’t do anything illegal - was just a bit of a creep (after he was stalked!), no one will care. Why would anyone be interested in this?

Livpool · 18/03/2025 21:42

Exactly!

And I am assuming he didn’t do anything illegal - was just a bit of a creep (after he was stalked!), no one will care. Why would anyone be interested in this?

Livpool · 18/03/2025 21:42

Haricots · 18/03/2025 20:33

So he was horrible on the app

you found / stalked his mobile

and then messaged him thereby giving this person your mobile number. The person who was a “bit horrible” on the app

Show quote history

Exactly!

And I am assuming he didn’t do anything illegal - was just a bit of a creep (after he was stalked!), no one will care. Why would anyone be interested in this?

Livpool · 18/03/2025 21:42

Haricots · 18/03/2025 20:33

So he was horrible on the app

you found / stalked his mobile

and then messaged him thereby giving this person your mobile number. The person who was a “bit horrible” on the app

Show quote history

Exactly!

And I am assuming he didn’t do anything illegal - was just a bit of a creep (after he was stalked!), no one will care. Why would anyone be interested in this?

Livpool · 18/03/2025 21:42

Haricots · 18/03/2025 20:33

So he was horrible on the app

you found / stalked his mobile

and then messaged him thereby giving this person your mobile number. The person who was a “bit horrible” on the app

Show quote history

Exactly!

And I am assuming he didn’t do anything illegal - was just a bit of a creep (after he was stalked!), no one will care. Why would anyone be interested in this?

BringMeTea · 18/03/2025 21:43

Lots of the menz gruntz crawling over this thread. Gotta defend a fellow scrote. 😄