Would you consider this “having stuffed yourself all day”

[ThatJolly]

I was talking to a friend and she accused me of competitive underrating, which i certainly was not doing! I referred to my eating as having stuffed my face all day and she told me to get a grip and she found what I said triggering!

What I ate:

• Scrambled eggs (2 eggs) with veggies toasted sarnie
• Beans on toast (2 slices)
• Half a carton of precut pineapple
• chicken wings and celery with hot sauce
• a child’s plate of ravioli and homemade cheese sauce (this was on top off my dinner and purely a craving, I was full so it was very much not needed)

I went to bed uncomfortably stuffed. So to me i did “stuff my face all day”

What do you think?

No, I agree with her and that would annoy me too.
You've clearly not got any idea what some people who struggle with overeating/binge eating can put away in a day!

But I wouldn't say anything to you about it, just do an inward eye roll.

@ZenNudist

beans on toast (2 slices of bread) is a “small to normal” lunch?! How so? Out of interest what would you class as a normal lunch? What would a large lunch look like to you? Just curious as I’d see beans on toast with 2 slices of bread quite a heavy lunch!

I think your friend is right. Your eating wasn’t enough in terms of volume or ongoing enough throughout the day to match the phrase.

Ok it wasn’t a very healthy day of food but that’s not because of quantity really. As for eating when full, I think having the odd something you want when not hungry is not really stuffing your face, but depends how full you were!

I think you could more accurately say that you didn’t eat particularly well or in a way that was comfortable for you. But stuffed your face all day, no I don’t see that.

So did your "stuffing" 🤣 day meet your basic metabolic requirement?

You are coming across if you have a disordered relationship with food.

Are u slim but say things like "I'm so fat", "I need to go on a diet" etc. This can be very "triggering" for some people. Especially if they are maybe bigger than you. They will be thinking, "well if she thinks she's fat what must she think of me?"

It’s worrying that you think that.

The fact that you have come back to this thread many times to play it down further "I'm only 5'2 etc" despite most people saying yes a bit carb heavy maybe but not stuffing your face says to me perhaps you do have issues with food or at least you don't appreciate how you come across.

I'd certainly eyeroll if i met a friend for lunch who then says "ooh I couldn't possibly, i had sooooo much blah blah blah" its rude because then the friend either has to eat with you watching her or misses a meal.

If she asked the question ‘condescendingly’, is it possible you have form for this OP?

Can we find a new buzzword, 'triggering' has become so passe, surely someone can invent a new pseudo-psychological word?

I mean people have chicken pasta so I wouldn’t count that as 2 meals TBH, it sounds like an average day

I was going to ask if you were small. I’m really small (a bit smaller than you) and people have NO IDEA how low our baseline calorie burn is. The usual guideline of 2000 calories is far too much for a petite woman. My “maintenance calories” are about 1400-1500. If I want to lose weight I can do it incredibly slowly on 1200 cal per day . I’m talking 1/2lb a month.

so all the people saying “600 calories isn’t a main meal” . Well it is if you are a small woman . A sandwich is often 500 calories. Two slices of toast with beans is actually quite a lot for us! I can see how all that bread and a whole bucket of chicken wings left you feeling quite stuffed.

and then you get accused of “competitive under eating” because actually half a sandwich is a perfectly adequate lunch when you’re tiny like us. But apparently not wanting to eat big portions and saving half a chocolate bar for later is evil and we’re now responsible for everyone else’s dysfunctional relationship with food.

It sounds to me like you are used to eating healthily, small portions and not snacking. So what feels like stuffing your face all day to you is very different to what it’s like for your friend (or most of the people on this thread)

I’d make a note not to talk to friend about food in future. Or if you do explain patiently just how much less food your body needs than hers.

Never mind if you were stuffed or not, but what was the rational with having the hot chicken wings with celery?

What is wrong with carbs?
Our body needs them

@ThatJolly feeling stuffed and "stuffing your face all day" are two very different things.

You may well have felt stuffed by the end of the day but "stuffing yourself all day" implies constant eating, grazing all day.

What you've described is basically an overall fairly healthy day. The "two dinners" looks more like a dinner split across two courses to me - chicken, pasta and veg with cheese sauce isn't an outrageous dinner. The quality of the bread is not obvious from your OP. Otherwise all looks fairly balanced. Id be surprised if you put that in to my fitness pal or similar it would come out as a day of overeating.

As often when reading about the tedious conversations MN friends seem to have I am so glad that my friends and I don't join in!

But equally OP should realise that taller, bigger, or more physically active people need more calories and that listing out all she ate isn’t really helpful (unless she’s speaking to her twin).

It doesn't sound as though you stuffed yourself at all. It does sound a lot

You didn't even have one dinner, unless you left something out.

Is this meant to be a stealth boast? Under-eating is concerning, not something to boast about.

Sorry OP I know this is unlikely how you intended to come across but as others have pointed out, this is a normal amount of food for a normally healthy person, neither under eating nor over eating or full of sugar/unhealthy fats. I probably would have done an internal eye roll if a friend had made a point of stating this amount of food made them totally stuffed.

How about irritating, or upsetting? I am fine with the OP thinking that what she ate is ‘stuffing herself’ and maybe for her it is. It doesn’t take much imagination though to realise that eating is a sensitive area for many people and to be a bit careful how you phrase things. I do think the friend probably just shouldn’t have asked though!

It’s tedious though. My mum is like this, we go out for a meal and every time she comments how huge the normal portion size is and saying you could share this! Oh this is too much, will have to waste half of this… next time we should just get one to share! while drinking three glasses of wine.

I comfortably finish my portion and so does my OH and it gets a bit draining. I feel like saying thats because you get half your calorie intake through wine! It makes the meal uncomfortable as everyone starts feeling like they’re a glutton as she just goes on and on about it.

I think she just has an unhealthy relationship with food and she’s genuinely not trying to make other people feel bad but to people that don’t know her I think people would think she was passive aggressively calling them fat

At 5ft 2 myself, it sounds like an entirely unremarkable quantity of food paced sensibly through the day. It might be more than you required on that particular day, but if you have a sensible lifestyle, that balances out over the course of a week.

I'd be hungry after chicken wings and celery, so it's not surprising that the ravioli was appetising. If I was conciously having a minimal carb dinner, it would have had much more variety of salad.

The intake of food was a non-issue in itself, but the attitude of "stuffing my face all day", creating a thread about it, and constantly justifying to yourself how much it was rather than being reassured that it was a non-event is a bit worrying. That combined with the friend's reaction suggest it is a disproportionate issue to OP and not the healthiest of attitudes to food.

I am also 5 2! And dieting but according to the NHS app to lose weight I should eat 1700 calories a day so 1700 is not a huge amount

No. You had a healthy and normal breakfast, lunch and dinner, one snack of fruit and the only extra 'stuffing' going on was the extra pasta after dinner.

If it all added up to more calories than you need in a day then sure, it was too much. But it's really not binge eating territory.
Whether she was justified in complaining about your phrasing depends on the conversation, if you were going on about how greedy you were and how stuffed you were (heard of the almond mum?) then it comes across as performatively under eating and a subtext of judgment to anyone who eats more.
If you just commented that you felt stuffed after eating yesterday and she was quizzing you on what you ate then that's on her.
Side note- I suspect it was the very carb heavy choices that made you feel stuffed/bloated. Especially the beans, they are very starchy and I find they can often sit a bit heavy, plus all the bread and pasta, if you don't normally eat a lot of bread and starchy carbs I imagine you would notice it.