To think not many MN posters would make good counsellors?

[NovemberMorn]

Some of the advice given by posters is understanding, intelligent, and helpful, concentrating on the OP's problem and sharing words of wisdom.

Others tend to talk down and judge...a lot.

So, if I were to vote, I would err on the side of...don't give up your day job.

To be fair, I am a qualified counsellor and pretty good at my job when I did it (retrained and now don’t have time for therapeutic work). But my persona here isn’t me at work- so Yabu to expect people to act like professionals on a chat site. That would be weird.

YABU as counsellors are not there to give advice, and speaking online to someone anonymous is incredibly different to building a therapeutic relationship with them , even if it’s online

A counsellor’s job is not to advise, more to facilitate self reflection to support you to make your own choices and decisions. Not many people generally make good counsellors, it takes a specific skill set plus innate empathy, critical thinking, and abilities which can take a long time to develop.

Most posters on mumsnet don’t claim to be, nor are they trying to be counsellors. And someone’s posting persona will be different to their real life persona. The things they post about or decide to reply to will often determine their manner of posting too so I don’t think you can judge suitability for any course of work based on someone’s posting history.

I doubt the majority would even consider a career in counselling. I also don't think you see the best of people on here. People are exhausted and worn down from their actual day jobs and family lives. MN is a distraction for them, I doubt many people are on here with the selfless intention to support others as if they are their unpaid therapist.

I'm qualified as a therapist. I wouldn't use my therapy training on MN or take on anyone as clients whom I've interacted with informally on MN. That would be unprofessional. Informed consent etc. I'm here to talk to people not initiate a therapeutic relationship, and TBH it really winds me up when I see posters who say they are therapists posting dubiously and trying to get more clients.

Most counsellors don't make good counsellors in my opinion.

Nobody is claiming to be a counsellor when they post on here, though.

MN is an entertainment website for most - a way to pass the time, socialise, chat with others. It's not meant to be taken seriously.

Telling someone “not to give up the day job” to pursue a role they never wanted and don’t see themselves in, based on a scenario entirely made up in your head, isn’t the witty repartee you seem to think it is, OP.

Not many would make good CNC millers or recruitment consultants or physiotherapists either 🤷‍♀️

Or good lawyers!

I'm a psychotherapist, cbt and emdr, not counselling and honestly this forum is savage 🙈😂😂 I'd never keep clients if I spoke as mums net often does 😆 but also I feel a good therapist doesn't advise, they help the person to identify the best plan themselves and then to implement it themselves. That's more empowering and more likely to allow for learning 😁

The purpose of a forum like this is for people to share experiences and opinions. Some of it will be helpful to the person posting and some of it won't. If you're looking for counseling, I suggest you find a counselor.

I came on to say just this.

MN isn't free counselling. You are asking for opinions and people will give them, including their judgements about the information you have freely offered up.

I have seen a few people claiming to be counsellors when they offer advice.

Some people do come here asking for help and advice. Some threads are lighthearted, but others are obviously people who are in need of help, often emotional support.
I don't think it's a bad thing to ask for outsiders advice, sometimes it's easier to talk to a stranger, especially one online.
However, some of the advice I have read, from people who are offering help, is pretty dire. No doubt some think they are helping, others not so much, and some posters are genuinely kind and talk of their own experiences, I do it myself.

My pet hate is when someone comes here with a problem that seems genuine, and others take the opportunity to talk down to them.

If people genuinely post here for serious advice, more fool them really.

It's an entertainment website, not somewhere to come for genuine help.

Well you only have to run down the titles of the threads to see that many people do come here asking for serious advice.

Oh purlease. Most of us aren't counsellors and don't claim to be. Most of us are caring and tolerant but don't put up with shit.

Well, like I said, more fool them. This is an entertainment website designed to make money for the owners.

I would never post a serious thread on here.

Pretty weird to make the connection OP. Are you someone who thinks all women should be super supportive, nurturing, kind all the time etc?

This forum exists for many reasons. Pressuring the users of it into one prescriptive role is not one of them. That’s what makes it so interesting.

"Some people do come here asking for help and advice."

Generally they're asking for other MNers who have had similar experiences to tell them what worked for them. And given there's so many of us, there will indeed be MNers who have that experience.

Do counsellors give advice? That's not my impression of what the job is.

Its not counselling on here though is it

And it depends what you mean by counselling. If you mean for 'there there' to take place all the time, well thats not exactly counselling either.

Agree with another poster that most counsellors dont make good counsellors either but perhaps if counselling/therapy/guidance/emotional wellbeing support was a bit more challenging and a bit more like a honest mentor, perhaps people would learn a bit better how to navigate through life

Too much naval gazing, sense of entitlement, self absorption and seeing themselves as the main character in life.

You're right I have just posted a query about rock cakes. Please help!!!

Many people on here seem unable to read a whole post possible and don’t pick up or respond to details, so yes, they would make shit counsellors!