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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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6
NapT1me · 16/03/2025 18:06

greengreyblue · 16/03/2025 18:01

Tbis

Such as?

EasternStandard · 16/03/2025 18:06

A better question is if things are over diagnosed what is removed and then what happens?

ParrotParty · 16/03/2025 18:06

Absolutely. Stress isn't a MH condition.

MyUmberSeal · 16/03/2025 18:10

Sheknowsaboutme · 16/03/2025 17:28

Absolutely! I find its the younger generation (20/30’s) love them labels more.

working with them is something else. Comparing symptoms and “my anxiety is worse than yours”, “oh my sertraline dose us higher than yours”

fuck off. Seriously too old to care.

Couldn’t agree more. It’s very kooky amongst the people I work with to compare and contrast their mental health conditions, medication dosage, and all the things they are triggered by. Hurts my brain listening to them talk utter shite.

MferMonsterSearchingForRedemption · 16/03/2025 18:10

People may well be diagnosing themselves more, but I am not so sure that mental health professionals are over diagnosing.

I work with many people who have depression and anxiety. Most people go on to recover with the right support and stay in work. I'm not seeing all these people getting diagnosed with anxiety/ depression and getting benefits for it.

Society is a shit heap, it's understandable and inevitable that so many people are struggling.

I do not believe that many people are claiming PIP/ sick benefits who don't really need it. I think they need to focus on what is causing so many people to be struggling and getting people early support and sort out MH services. That is where we make real change.

It's just much easier for people to say that MI is over-diagnosed and cut benefits though isn't it?

NapT1me · 16/03/2025 18:11

MferMonsterSearchingForRedemption · 16/03/2025 18:10

People may well be diagnosing themselves more, but I am not so sure that mental health professionals are over diagnosing.

I work with many people who have depression and anxiety. Most people go on to recover with the right support and stay in work. I'm not seeing all these people getting diagnosed with anxiety/ depression and getting benefits for it.

Society is a shit heap, it's understandable and inevitable that so many people are struggling.

I do not believe that many people are claiming PIP/ sick benefits who don't really need it. I think they need to focus on what is causing so many people to be struggling and getting people early support and sort out MH services. That is where we make real change.

It's just much easier for people to say that MI is over-diagnosed and cut benefits though isn't it?

This!

suburburban · 16/03/2025 18:11

Maviaz · 16/03/2025 17:33

I remember a post by someone on here a couple of years ago talking about this.
She said as a child she was always described as “highly strung” but her parents and teachers managed her appropriately. She would certainly never have been allowed to get out of doing things in or out of school. As an adult she was grateful for this and saw the benefits.

Now she had a daughter who presented in very much the same way and was being labelled at school as having anxiety. The daughter was following the lead of others who had anxiety and getting out of doing certain things because of having “anxiety”. The school and the daughter’s friend were going along with it.
The woman was sad and frustrated her daughter was missing out and wasn’t having the experiences she should be having

That is a valid point.

TankFlyBossW4lk · 16/03/2025 18:13

Slimbear · 16/03/2025 15:30

I think jobs are more demanding now - there were jobs such as bank teller, secretary, filing clerk. Bin men and posties weren’t given targets they had to achieve.
With email now there is no relief from constantly being at work. Even supermarkets seem quite pressured.
So what are the depressed, anxious, inattentive etc to do. What they might want is quiet, part time, to be able to control demands on them, a choice of start time. How would this work?

I agree with this. Most people don't really want to work under pressure, I suspect. Especially if it's for a relatively low wage

Tiredalwaystired · 16/03/2025 18:14

I don’t think we’re over diagnosing. I think if people have valid need for support to function then we need to do better rather than failing them. And if it turns out that, say, 60% of the population have been failed as there are more neurodiverse than neurotypical then perhaps we need to look at the way things are done (not too dissimilar to the way we now question the patriarchy)

I think the reason there are “too many” on benefits will be related to the above. If we make the right adaptations in the workplace then the benefits bill will go down because the reason so many can’t work is because the world of work is rigidly set up - from interview process onwards.

My cousin is undiagnosed but 100% on the autism spectrum. (He wouldnt accept it before you ask, even though I would love to support him with it). He has been for hundreds of interviews for quite low skilled jobs and just can’t nail one. He just doesn’t understand how to play the system. He can certainly work, but no one will give him a chance.

WimbyAce · 16/03/2025 18:15

I mean every other person has anxiety these days. But the truth is at some point in your life it is normal to experience stressful or anxious times, I think if you have got to 40 and not then you are lucky. But there is a huge difference in feeling those butterflies and a bit stressed then to it actually impacting your day to day existence. I had a spell where I needed support a couple of years ago where it was detrimental to me physically as well as mentally and I was struggling to function so I do understand the impact poor mental health can have. I have actually learnt a lot about myself since then and have been able to manage stressful times better and recognize the signs.

EasternStandard · 16/03/2025 18:18

Isn’t it just a more palatable way to say we’re going to cut welfare funding

TitusMoan · 16/03/2025 18:21

My social media is currently full of suggested short videos about ADHD. If an enormous number of people have ADHD, then is it really so far outside normal human experience as to be a disorder? We’ve all been varying degrees of scatty, disorganised, overrun with racing thoughts, inattentive etc. How does it become pathological?

I was surprised to see recently that approx 52,000 current PIP recipients have ADHD as the main basis of claim. I don’t understand how money can help ADHD (and I’m aware that PIP is a payment paid to many people in work). Please understand that I am not saying it’s right or wrong. I just don’t understand how the personal independence payment applies to people with this diagnosis. I would love to know why it’s paid and how it can help.

Veronay · 16/03/2025 18:23

TankFlyBossW4lk · 16/03/2025 18:13

I agree with this. Most people don't really want to work under pressure, I suspect. Especially if it's for a relatively low wage

Everything is so fucking pressured today it's insane. Even being a cashier at aldi you have to throw things through fast enough to break the sound barrier. Can everyone just fucking chill for like 5 mins, that'd be great. 'Absolugely not- there's more profit to generate for shareholders'. 🙄

NapT1me · 16/03/2025 18:27

TitusMoan · 16/03/2025 18:21

My social media is currently full of suggested short videos about ADHD. If an enormous number of people have ADHD, then is it really so far outside normal human experience as to be a disorder? We’ve all been varying degrees of scatty, disorganised, overrun with racing thoughts, inattentive etc. How does it become pathological?

I was surprised to see recently that approx 52,000 current PIP recipients have ADHD as the main basis of claim. I don’t understand how money can help ADHD (and I’m aware that PIP is a payment paid to many people in work). Please understand that I am not saying it’s right or wrong. I just don’t understand how the personal independence payment applies to people with this diagnosis. I would love to know why it’s paid and how it can help.

My dd gets pip and has adhd along with autism and a whole load of other nhs diagnosis. Her ADHD contributes towards her suicidal idealisation, self medication, SH, ED, anxiety and depression. You really have no idea what adhd is like, it’s not a bit of scattiness.

godmum56 · 16/03/2025 18:29

Bristollocalknowledge · 16/03/2025 15:14

It’s playing on disablism. Over the last week alone on MN I had read people with no medical qualifications say medical professionals are over diagnosising medical conditions. Peoe not realising that the single biggest benefit is age related pension. Countless incorrect comments about PIP. I did a 30 second internet search to find out PIP is often paid to people in work and is based on need rather diagnosis. Far too many people forming opinions on very little knowledge.

Age related pension is not a benefit, currently its an entitlement.

TamanTun · 16/03/2025 18:31

I think we are seeing the consequences of a post pandemic/modern day stressful living era which is exacerbating underlying conditions and introducing new ones. Doctors and educators are bearing the brunt of the fallout and are having to channel those seeking help. The internet is providing easy access to information for those struggling, whereas before this sort of knowledge was gatekept by the medical profession and the subject of mental health was not really talked about as it is today. It’s a mixture of all these things and the government are seeing the monetary implications.

soupyspoon · 16/03/2025 18:32

LaurieFairyCake · 16/03/2025 17:21

Modern life is HIDEOUS.

I can literally think of hundreds of examples where we could do so much better as a society. The biggest problem is the gap between rich and poor, greater than at ANY POINT in history in the UK.

this leads to insecurity in every area; housing, jobs, relationships, whether you’re ever going to afford a baby, a place to live, a pension, good health. Even bloody dentistry is completely unaffordable.

all while we’re surrounded by a media that tells us we’re failing, where instagram and Tik tok tell you’re NOTHING without XYZ while the climate death is actually going to kill our children + our grandchildren.

Having poor mental health is a perfectly NORMAL response in this shitty world as so many people can’t protect themselves from poverty and struggle to protect themselves from social media.

Some of this is correct, but really not the claim that inequality between rich and poor is greater than at any time in history. Please!!

The feudal peasant and the aristocrat, really?

The Tudor street urchin and the wealthy merchants of the day, really?

The Victorian street kids and the wealthy industrialists, really?

My dad grew up in a room, pre war, no washing facilities, no fridge, no heating, whole family. Mum similar although I think her family had slightly more money to go around. The disparity between them and the 'rich' of the day was much more than similar would be today.

Gloriia · 16/03/2025 18:36

NapT1me · 16/03/2025 18:27

My dd gets pip and has adhd along with autism and a whole load of other nhs diagnosis. Her ADHD contributes towards her suicidal idealisation, self medication, SH, ED, anxiety and depression. You really have no idea what adhd is like, it’s not a bit of scattiness.

Surely then someone like Ben shepherd 'revealing' his adhd diagnosis which clearly doesn't impede him in the slightest must annoy you?

We have people like your dd who obviously has significant mh issues then a whole load of people wanting a diagnosis when they function as fully as the next person.

Adhd, autism, anxiety, depression. Everyone seems to have them. We need stricter and clearer parameters for diagnosis so that genuine cases like your dd can access funding and services.

TrixieFatell · 16/03/2025 18:36

It took years for my serious mental health condition to be diagnosed. Have been fobbed off loads. Once it was and I got the right medication my life has improved so much. I find work better and enjoy life so much more.

My daughter also has found it difficult to get treatment. Severe anxiety, not getting stressed, to the point she was self harming which was escalating. Noone wanted to help, she wasn't deemed as unwell enough for CAHMs. Eventually managed to get her in with talking therapies which have really helped her and she is now doing so well and not relapsed for a few years.

So in my experience they are not over easily diagnosed. I think they are not recognised enough.

528htz · 16/03/2025 18:38

Humans spent thousands of years living very different lives to how we're expected to live now. The modern world only really suits a certain type of person and everyone else can fall by the wayside. Employers want automatons with perfect health and permanent smiles plastered on their faces and anyone else is discarded. Life's always been tough, but at least the human inhabitants were more or less suited to their living and working circumstances.

I think many people want to get off this merry go round and, rightly or wrongly, poor health is a way out. Many young people don't seem to want to participate in the world because life isn't all fluffy rainbow cloud shaped and super easy and comfortable.

On the other hand, adhd cuts life expectancy and can lead to addiction, violence, crime and suicide. Autism leads to earlier death, poor health and suicide. The world is getting more neurotypical and even bog standard introverts are struggling now. The world is run on noise, stress, cynicism, unpredictability, hostility, suspicion, cruelty, isolation, dog eat dog, violence and treating people as disposable, so it's no wonder people are finding it scary. It's been about 200 years since the industrial revolution and 200 years of people being employed chewed up and spat out and the cracks are gaping chasms now. Perhaps the people coming from abroad to make their lives here might be able to put another 200 years of toil in to keep the rich in money and keep the country ticking by whilst us and our hapless offspring shrivel and die on the vine.

NapT1me · 16/03/2025 18:38

Gloriia · 16/03/2025 18:36

Surely then someone like Ben shepherd 'revealing' his adhd diagnosis which clearly doesn't impede him in the slightest must annoy you?

We have people like your dd who obviously has significant mh issues then a whole load of people wanting a diagnosis when they function as fully as the next person.

Adhd, autism, anxiety, depression. Everyone seems to have them. We need stricter and clearer parameters for diagnosis so that genuine cases like your dd can access funding and services.

I have adhd too and don’t have the problems my dd has. I very much needed and deserved my diagnosis. Her brother has it too, medication is changing his life( and will help him keep in work).

greengreyblue · 16/03/2025 18:39

528htz · 16/03/2025 18:38

Humans spent thousands of years living very different lives to how we're expected to live now. The modern world only really suits a certain type of person and everyone else can fall by the wayside. Employers want automatons with perfect health and permanent smiles plastered on their faces and anyone else is discarded. Life's always been tough, but at least the human inhabitants were more or less suited to their living and working circumstances.

I think many people want to get off this merry go round and, rightly or wrongly, poor health is a way out. Many young people don't seem to want to participate in the world because life isn't all fluffy rainbow cloud shaped and super easy and comfortable.

On the other hand, adhd cuts life expectancy and can lead to addiction, violence, crime and suicide. Autism leads to earlier death, poor health and suicide. The world is getting more neurotypical and even bog standard introverts are struggling now. The world is run on noise, stress, cynicism, unpredictability, hostility, suspicion, cruelty, isolation, dog eat dog, violence and treating people as disposable, so it's no wonder people are finding it scary. It's been about 200 years since the industrial revolution and 200 years of people being employed chewed up and spat out and the cracks are gaping chasms now. Perhaps the people coming from abroad to make their lives here might be able to put another 200 years of toil in to keep the rich in money and keep the country ticking by whilst us and our hapless offspring shrivel and die on the vine.

A tad dramatic.

528htz · 16/03/2025 18:40

greengreyblue · 16/03/2025 18:39

A tad dramatic.

Yeah, I like a bit of drama ☺️

Tiredalwaystired · 16/03/2025 18:42

Gloriia · 16/03/2025 18:36

Surely then someone like Ben shepherd 'revealing' his adhd diagnosis which clearly doesn't impede him in the slightest must annoy you?

We have people like your dd who obviously has significant mh issues then a whole load of people wanting a diagnosis when they function as fully as the next person.

Adhd, autism, anxiety, depression. Everyone seems to have them. We need stricter and clearer parameters for diagnosis so that genuine cases like your dd can access funding and services.

I think they’re all genuine cases. They may not all need financial support but the mental health challenges of masking ADHD in a modern world are hideous.

Minimising ADHD royally pisses me off.

Yellowhammer09 · 16/03/2025 18:43

I wish people would mostly stop using the term 'anxiety'. It's perfectly normal to be anxious!