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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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6
Chocolatecustardcreamsrule · 16/03/2025 15:45

I think that the NHS is so stretched for mental health resources that people aren’t getting the support early on, which results in people getting to the point where they can’t cope. Early intervention would help so many people but the resources just aren’t there.

I have ADHD which has been diagnosed as an adult and it’s honestly been life changing for me as I didn’t realise all the issues it was causing me in my life. My diagnosis wasn’t easy- the waitlist in my area is 4 years and that’s apparently decent. In some parts of the country it is 7 years.

Happyinarcon · 16/03/2025 15:47

I think modern life is causing mental health issues. I think they are probably under diagnosed, I’m surprised at how well people are coping to be honest, since the media switches from global warming, world war and then the asteroid. I still never worked out if all the bees are still dying or not

Veronay · 16/03/2025 15:57

I think a lot of it is being handled as a spontaneous pathology, like how you might develop an allergy or a cancer, when MH issues are more nuanced because they can often just be a natural response to having a hard life. For example, it's not really surprising that you'd be depressed if you were working 40 hours a week inan hard role and yet couldn't afford a house and a basic life in your own country. Perhaps if more people saw reward for their hard work there would be fewer of these complaints.

Livelovebehappy · 16/03/2025 15:57

Not always coping with things, mentally, is normal. Learning to be resilient is the way to go. Not everyone is nice. Not all situations are pleasant. Learning how to cope with these feelings should be the way to deal with it, not getting a sick note from your GP every six weeks, with you languishing at home in the meantime with no in place support. GPS should be educated to not give out notes like sweets, just on the demand and ask of their patients. More MH therapists should be trained, who could be based in surgeries. Therapy and advice on how to cope with MH issues is going to be far more helpful and produce better results long term than just signing a bit of paper and throwing benefits at someone.

Itsenough4now · 16/03/2025 15:57

It's something so easy to say which sounds tough to those who like to hear such things. The reality is that with or without a diagnosis there is still a problem and very little resources to help. Suicides are on the increase, is this because deaths by suicide are being incorrectly labelled? Counselling, therapy and medication are expensive and I don't think this or any government wants to put in the hard work to address the situation. So much easier to gaslight us.

ThejoyofNC · 16/03/2025 15:58

Of course they're over diagnosed but I can see why people do it. A diagnosis comes with a heap of benefits- days off work, benefits payments, excuse for being a shitty person, excuse to back out of things last minute. The type of person who gets a false diagnosis does it with exactly these things in mind and let's everyone know about their supposed "mental health".

MrsPeterHarris · 16/03/2025 16:00

HermioneWeasley · 16/03/2025 13:59

Yea, I think we are now pathologising normal (albeit uncomfortable) emotions and a range of personality traits.

Completely agree!

Darkrestlessness · 16/03/2025 16:01

Chocolatecustardcreamsrule · 16/03/2025 15:45

I think that the NHS is so stretched for mental health resources that people aren’t getting the support early on, which results in people getting to the point where they can’t cope. Early intervention would help so many people but the resources just aren’t there.

I have ADHD which has been diagnosed as an adult and it’s honestly been life changing for me as I didn’t realise all the issues it was causing me in my life. My diagnosis wasn’t easy- the waitlist in my area is 4 years and that’s apparently decent. In some parts of the country it is 7 years.

Diagnosis was life changing for ds too - he got a private diagnosis but has to join the NHS waiting list to get an NHS prescription.

soupyspoon · 16/03/2025 16:02

HermioneWeasley · 16/03/2025 13:59

Yea, I think we are now pathologising normal (albeit uncomfortable) emotions and a range of personality traits.

This. Ive had clinical depression and anxiety and still struggle with aspects of that, but the pathologising of any worry, stress, sadness, loss, grief, anger, memory brain farts, tiredness, lack of focus, being a bit disorganised, etc, is causing everyone to have a 'dsorder' of somesort.

XenoBitch · 16/03/2025 16:04

What MH diagnoses though? Mild depression/anxiety maybe... life is shit now for a lot of people so it is no surprise the rate of those are going up.
But I don't think there has been a rise in diagnosis of more serious conditions, like bipolar, for example.
There absolutely needs to be more early intervention for people in the first group. Instead it is just the quick fix of pills and being put on a huge waiting list. But funding for MH is another issue altogether.

GildedRage · 16/03/2025 16:05

I’d say the issue isn’t the over diagnosis but the inability of those diagnosed to move forward with the diagnosis to fulfilling employment.
It seems like early diagnosis, treatment and prevention is lacking more so than the diagnosis itself.

SherlockHomies · 16/03/2025 16:06

HermioneWeasley · 16/03/2025 13:59

Yea, I think we are now pathologising normal (albeit uncomfortable) emotions and a range of personality traits.

Yes, I agree with this.

Ilovetowander · 16/03/2025 16:12

I agree that MH issues are over diagnosed and that this then has lead to so many people self diagnosing and stating they have issues to the point it is common place. We all have a mental health and life through the whole of time has meant that people experience ups and downs - some are real highs some real lows, in the past people have realised that this is part and parcel of life. People were more resilient, whereas now it seems too easy to turn to MH rather than except this or that issue is just a blip. I am not denying that some people really suffer but that is the minority not the huge numbers we are seeing today.

Thisismyalterego · 16/03/2025 16:28

Many years ago, it used to be that a 'bad back' was a condition that was often over used on medical certificates, as it was something which relied heavily on the sufferer's description and was hard for a GP to disprove. These days it seems as though poor mental health has taken the place of the back ache. It saddens me that (many?) people use poor mental health in this was, since it then makes it harder for those who are genuinely suffering. In the same way that when parents self diagnose ADHD in their children, it makes it harder for those who are genuinely suffering. I know how much genuine poor mental health affects people, and how they struggle to get the help and support they need. But I also know that there are those who play the game. Those who scream 'mental health' or ' emotional abuse,' when they hear the word 'no', or don't get their way about something.

SherlockHomies · 16/03/2025 16:35

Thisismyalterego · 16/03/2025 16:28

Many years ago, it used to be that a 'bad back' was a condition that was often over used on medical certificates, as it was something which relied heavily on the sufferer's description and was hard for a GP to disprove. These days it seems as though poor mental health has taken the place of the back ache. It saddens me that (many?) people use poor mental health in this was, since it then makes it harder for those who are genuinely suffering. In the same way that when parents self diagnose ADHD in their children, it makes it harder for those who are genuinely suffering. I know how much genuine poor mental health affects people, and how they struggle to get the help and support they need. But I also know that there are those who play the game. Those who scream 'mental health' or ' emotional abuse,' when they hear the word 'no', or don't get their way about something.

I've often heard people saying 'anxiety is the new bad back'.

I suppose it's just as difficult to prove.

JandamiHash · 16/03/2025 16:37

Thank god someone finally said it. Amazed it’s a Labour MP but good for Wes. He’s right.

JandamiHash · 16/03/2025 16:37

HermioneWeasley · 16/03/2025 13:59

Yea, I think we are now pathologising normal (albeit uncomfortable) emotions and a range of personality traits.

100% you see it on MN all the time. People asking if they’re depressed/ND/have anxiety etc.

Mareleine · 16/03/2025 16:38

XenoBitch · 16/03/2025 16:04

What MH diagnoses though? Mild depression/anxiety maybe... life is shit now for a lot of people so it is no surprise the rate of those are going up.
But I don't think there has been a rise in diagnosis of more serious conditions, like bipolar, for example.
There absolutely needs to be more early intervention for people in the first group. Instead it is just the quick fix of pills and being put on a huge waiting list. But funding for MH is another issue altogether.

This.

Discsareshit · 16/03/2025 16:40

Charliechoosecarefully · 16/03/2025 15:30

I actually think the wrong MH issues are over diagnosed - it’s really easy to say someone has “depression and anxiety” when actually it’s something else.

but I suppose there’s a wait list for other professionals and actual help.

I also think people may be diagnosed with mental health issues when they really have physical health issues that aren't so easy to identify. That would be mis-doagnosed rather than over-diagnosed.

Booksaresick · 16/03/2025 16:40

Yes I agree. My GP diagnosed me as “depressed” a few years ago and promptly suggested I take antidepressants. It was my insistence that my fatigue is not normal and that I have to have my bloods checked that led to a diagnosis of iron-deficiency anaemia. Caused by a gynae condition that required a major surgery.
severe anaemia can manifest itself similarly to clinical depression.
but my GP was very eager to write “depression” and couldn’t understand why I wouldn’t just take antidepressants and go off sick.

OutandAboutMum1821 · 16/03/2025 16:51

I suffered from periods of acute social anxiety as a child/teenager. I really wanted to do things like sleepovers, but would back out at the last minute. Actually what really helped me was having kind family and friends who gave me another chance to try, and it was actually attending these events and having a positive experience which defeated the anxiety.

As an adult I pay a lot of attention to my diet, sleep, fresh air, daily walking and weekly swimming. Day to day good habits help to keep my anxiety in check. Challenging yourself to do things and not avoid them is crucial. Keep building that resilience and defeating anxiety! Keep individual faith that you yourself can keep pushing back! There is a great deal you can do without the need for medication (from a lifelong anxiety sufferer who has used medication for temporary periods after extreme family crises).

JohnTheRevelator · 16/03/2025 17:04

I think there are an awful lot of people diagnosing their own mental health problems,that's for sure.

Roseshavethorns · 16/03/2025 17:06

I agree.
I'm not sure what neuro typical actually looks like. But I don't think it's helpful when people explain away bad behaviour in adults as well as children as being undiagnosed personality disorder or autism.
If you look at threads on this site someone posts about dreadful behaviour by a partner or relative and there are immediately suggestions that they have a personality disorder or they are neuro diverse.
Sometimes bad behaviour is just bad behaviour. We can be unhappy without being depressed, being a bit worried or concerned about a situation does not mean you have anxiety. A child being anything other than perfectly behaved can just be a child having fun and pushing boundaries.
The problem seeking a named diagnosis for everything that isn't quite right is that people who genuinely need help and support can't access it. I also fear that it reduces sympathy and understanding for people who are really struggling. Their struggles are disregarded because "everyone has some sort of anxiety these days." Their extreme distress is hidden in a sea of labels.
I lived this with one of my children. As soon as she received a diagnosis three or four other parents in the class immediately sought a diagnosis for their children. Two of them actually told me that they did this because it wasn't fair that my child was getting special treatment that their child was excluded from.
I also think that there is a danger that once we label ourselves we unknowingly change our behaviour to fit or almost justify the label, the same way if you tell a child they are terrible at maths, they can stop trying and so become terrible at maths.

RafaistheKingofClay · 16/03/2025 17:06

Even if it is overdiagnosed, the diagnosis itself doesn’t get you access to benefits, which is what’s going to end up being claimed. The ignorant twonk should probably just keep his thoughts to himself.

soupyspoon · 16/03/2025 17:08

OutandAboutMum1821 · 16/03/2025 16:51

I suffered from periods of acute social anxiety as a child/teenager. I really wanted to do things like sleepovers, but would back out at the last minute. Actually what really helped me was having kind family and friends who gave me another chance to try, and it was actually attending these events and having a positive experience which defeated the anxiety.

As an adult I pay a lot of attention to my diet, sleep, fresh air, daily walking and weekly swimming. Day to day good habits help to keep my anxiety in check. Challenging yourself to do things and not avoid them is crucial. Keep building that resilience and defeating anxiety! Keep individual faith that you yourself can keep pushing back! There is a great deal you can do without the need for medication (from a lifelong anxiety sufferer who has used medication for temporary periods after extreme family crises).

And this is the key in my view, that you keep on keeping on, even if its uncomfortable and anxiety provoking and difficult, even if you only do a bit and then return to carry on (whatever the situation entails)

What is happening at the moment is that the minute there is something uncomfortable it becomes 'cant do it wont do it'. Particularly for children.

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