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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

No photo?

141 replies

PrincessCalley · 15/03/2025 19:59

My brother and his wife had a baby this morning and they have sent us no pictures. AM IBU to be a little sad/upset by this? My own 2 daughters have been waiting all day to see a picture of their new cousin but we've gotten nothing

OP posts:
OlderGlaswegianLivingInDevon · 15/03/2025 20:29

' Mam ' as you never indicated whose mother she is.

Laiste · 15/03/2025 20:29

OP has said it's just her and her brother in the family so i was thinking the mam is her brother's MIL.

Your brother is probably all stary eyed over his new daughter and the new mum has sent hers and is probably thinking he's sent one to you.

Give it till tomorrow you'll get a pic 😊

TomatoSandwiches · 15/03/2025 20:31

PrincessCalley · 15/03/2025 20:27

I get on great with my sister in law and have been texting her but no photos. And I've speaking to my brother on the phone also and no photo. My sis in law is fine and doing well but I love all the assumptions being made here.

You're the one not been given a photo and narked off about it so people will ask questions that may explain why you've been excluded.

mumofoneAlonebutokay · 15/03/2025 20:31

I didn't want photos sent of dd - i needed time

If it's their first baby, I'd guess it's that x

Amba1998 · 15/03/2025 20:32

PrincessCalley · 15/03/2025 20:16

Not sure why "mam" is in commas!!

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Pretty common for grandparents to get a photo and they forward in to rest of family, new parents in hospital / new born bubble don’t want to be texting everyone all day. Just ask your mum

Vallmo47 · 15/03/2025 20:34

They’re overwhelmed and utterly exhausted and probably hoping your mum would pass on hers. I do understand being disappointed but I’d use this as a learning opportunity for your children … something amazing to look forward to. Please don’t let on to them how disappointed you all are because it will only go against you. I still remember disappointing comments from various family members today and my kids are teenagers. You don’t forget how utterly overwhelmed you were and in so much pain - the words uttered now stick.

Cynic17 · 15/03/2025 20:35

Dear Lord, there are really so many more important things when someone has just given birth! I would imagine it's low down on their agenda.
Oh for the days when you got your prints back from Snappy Snaps about 3 weeks later....

ReadingSoManyThreads · 15/03/2025 20:41

Bloody hell OP give them a break. I didn't even tell anyone my children were born until the next day!

moose62 · 15/03/2025 20:45

Still don't understand why you didn't ask your mam to forward hers. Why do they need to be sent directly to you?

Maxorias · 15/03/2025 20:48

Sorry OP but if this is the worst thing going on in your life right now, you're fine. It's a good thing !

321user123 · 15/03/2025 20:51

PrincessCalley · 15/03/2025 20:20

I'm so sorry im being self absorbed by wondering why I haven't been sent pics of my niece. There's only myself and my brother in family and I sent pics of my own kids not long after they were born.

Show quote history

Do you… want a medal?
They just had a baby. Sending pictures isn’t their priority. The well being of mother and child is.

Ask your mum to send you whatever she got.

Original poster
PrincessCalley · 15/03/2025 20:53

moose62 · 15/03/2025 20:45

Still don't understand why you didn't ask your mam to forward hers. Why do they need to be sent directly to you?

I could have asked my mam to forward one but I didn't think it would be big ask for my brother to forward to me one. But obviously based on all these comments I'm being unreasonable to ask that. He's my only sibling but I'm guessing in today's times it's unreasonable to expect a photo. My girls are often asked to help out with my nephew (It's not their first child, we all live nearby and my parents who also live close by are getting on in years) and they we're asked to help out this morning but I'm being unreasonable to ask for a picture of my new niece. Sad times we live in but thanks for all the comments.

OP posts:
OlderGlaswegianLivingInDevon · 15/03/2025 20:55

As long as you are not making this all about you...

JoyousEagle · 15/03/2025 20:56

PrincessCalley · 15/03/2025 20:27

I get on great with my sister in law and have been texting her but no photos. And I've speaking to my brother on the phone also and no photo. My sis in law is fine and doing well but I love all the assumptions being made here.

You’ve been texting her and speaking to him? They have probably just forgotten, or have both assumed the other has sent you one.

PassingStranger · 15/03/2025 20:58

Years ago you couldn't send photos, you got the news by phone, you waited till you saw people to take photos.
Technology puts so much pressure on people.....

MyLimeGuide · 15/03/2025 21:00

Have you actually asked your brother to send you one though? As everyone else has said he is obviously busy atm and probably hoped 'MAM' would send them on to everyone.

Nameynameynamename · 15/03/2025 21:01

When my DS was born I hadn't slept for 48 hours, had a forceps delivery, a suspect 4th degree tear, spent two hours in surgery and hemorrhaged. It took me a little while to get round to updating everyone too. Don't take it personally

Original poster
PrincessCalley · 15/03/2025 21:01

MyLimeGuide · 15/03/2025 21:00

Have you actually asked your brother to send you one though? As everyone else has said he is obviously busy atm and probably hoped 'MAM' would send them on to everyone.

Of course I asked my brother to send us a pic!

OP posts:
MyLimeGuide · 15/03/2025 21:02

PrincessCalley · 15/03/2025 21:01

Of course I asked my brother to send us a pic!

Show quote history

Reckon he will send you one by tomorrow 😊

crumblingschools · 15/03/2025 21:03

I had complications after giving birth, took longer for that to be sorted than the birth took. Sending out photos was not our priority

Teanbiscuits33 · 15/03/2025 21:04

Personally, I think you’re unreasonable to expect a photo by a certain time. They’re busy and they are enjoying their own new arrival. They will send a photo when they are ready and I’d think you were cheeky to ask if it were me. You don’t get to decide.

Original poster
PrincessCalley · 15/03/2025 21:04

I have had 2 kids so understand what it's like. All was normal today and everyone is fine. Thankfully. We are just disappointed we havent seen a photo, that's all. My own kids help out a lot with my nephew and have been excited about the arrival of their new cousin since they found out about it. No major expectations apart from that.

OP posts:
Cattreesea · 15/03/2025 21:04

It is not about you.

Why do you want to make a drama of such a happy occasion?

They likely will share pictures in their own time and you will have the opportunity to meet the new baby.

mumda · 15/03/2025 21:06

There are a million reasons why they don't want to send a photo.

Some of them will be about you but most about them and their new baby.

Twinkletwinklelil · 15/03/2025 21:06

I would just wait until they’re ready to share. It’s not up to you when the photos released nor should you feel entitled to see it so quickly. There may have been complications they didn’t expect and are dealing with that.

edited as I’ve read your responses, glad they’re ok. But you’ve got to let them send when they’re ready.
if you’re close with them you can ask but I wouldn’t be offended it’s their moment