Child Benefit Rival Claim Ex Partner Earning Loads!!!!!

[ProlongedAffair]

Me and my ex share 50/50 of our two children, it’s not court ordered but has been in place for the past few years. A few months ago I put in a claim for CMS and was awarded it, they see me as the primary carer because I get both children’s child benefits. I also discovered my ex is earning a 6 figure salary.

Last week I got a letter from child benefit saying that he is challenging my claim. I said to the lady that he earns too much to claim and I suspect he’s only claiming so he can try to get out of CMS. She told me that because he has the children for half the time and child benefit isn’t means tested, the likelihood is they will award child benefit one each! Surely that can’t be correct, can anyone advise who has been through their rival claims process?? He will then be able to claim CMS from me!!

What do you earn though. It depends on need as well. The OP earns £60k. There is no need in getting case.

Surely if you share 50/50 custody, he will win his CB claim. Then he will be also be able to claim CMS from you as well?

I would imagine they will work out what you both ‘owe’ each other from your respective salaries. As you are the lower earner the CMS you owe him would be deducted from what he needs to pay you, and you get the difference.

Have you done any online calculators to see if this is even worth your while? You haven’t shared how much you earn so you may end up with less than what you are already getting and damage the co parenting relationship you have along with it. The priority should be the kids, it seems you just want his money because he earns more than you thought. Nothing in your posts suggests you ‘need’ it for xyz to do with the kids.

I don’t know whether he will win it or not, they asked a ton of questions about the care of the children, not just what the overnight or 50/50 situation was.

I don’t know if I’ll be worse off or not, it depends on lots of variables and whether he actually succeeds in winning the CB or not. My name is on more things so I reckon I have a good chance of retaining both.

He has always been amicable with money so I assumed he would be happy to pay the CMS amount, as that’s what they’ve ordered him to pay and they’ve awarded me the claim. I didn’t expect this to happen.

Have you put your details onto the cms calculator as the one paying to see what you owe him for the current set up?

I’ve just looked, and a parent earning £30,000 a year who has two children 50/50 would owe £138.66 a months, earning £40,000 would owe £205.10, earning £50,000 would owe £257.77.

What I’m trying to say, is these are claims the system would allow him to put in ‘against’ you. Is it possible that the reason he’s being amicable for all this time, is that he thought you were on the same page about not claiming against each other?

If you assumed he would be happy, why didn't you tell him the outcome of the calculator before putting in a formal claim?

Because I didn’t know how much money he was earning so I couldn’t do the calculator. He said he would contribute a nominal couple hundred a month, but that he didn’t feel he should pay more than that, as we have 50/50 and he pays for things solely (like the kids phone bills for example). Unless it was for big things like school trips and then he would go halves.

Honestly he sounds really reasonable and £300 a month isn't nominal on top of their private dental and medical, phone bills and halves on school trips when he has the alternative weeks

OK... but again, if you thought he would be amicable to it, then it was open to you to say 'hey, Bob, the CMS calculator even on your old salary would have given me £X and I heard you got a pay rise - is there scope to increase the £300 pcm you send currently, or for you to cover the full cost of school trips, since my income is still £Y and things are getting more expensive"

I would have taken the £200 instead of this. You should have tried to get a higher paid job while the kids are with their dad half the time you were fixated on what he earns

Hang on, so not only does he have the kids 50/50, he also pays for private health insurance and dental care AND their phone bills. Plus pays for half of all their school trips, uniform, clothes etc?

AND you are currently claiming CB for both kids plus he’s giving you £300 voluntarily a month in child support?

What exactly do you pay for OP? Because it doesn’t sound you pay for anything. If anything you should be giving him money not the other way round.

I would love to know what is going on in your brain to think you have a right to try and take more of his money. From what you’ve said it appears he actually provides more for the kids than you do 😆

Honestly, this thread just seems like a wind up. No one can be this naive/dense.

@SapphOhNo I can assure you I’m not winding anyone up. The CMS allowed me to open a case with 50/50 and have awarded me money, so why would I assume I’m not entitled to it? It’s only since this thread and learning about child benefit rival claims that I’ve come to hear any different.

It's not so much the initial thinking, OP, as your ongoing protests that your ex doesn't have equal care (despite the fact he does 50/50) or equal right to the CB - and that you are in some way hard done by here.

A lot of posters would have said 'ah, crap, I have stuffed this up, any ideas on how to fix it?' quite some pages ago.

Because I’ve been the primary carer for years so it seems unfair he can now swoop in and stop paying maintenance and claim child benefits. And I still think I do more admin and my name is registered with more places for the children.

He’s been paying you to be the primary carer for years though and you have been claiming CB for that as well.

The reality is, it’s doesn’t matter what you’ve been doing for the last 5 years, he now has 50/50 custody so what happened before that is completely irrelevant, you’ve already had the money for that. It doesn’t mean you are still entitled to it now things have changed.

@ProlongedAffairFor some reason you are fixated on the fact that your name is on things (I assume you mean at the dr’s, dentist, kids clubs etc) so that means you think you’re entitled to more money. That may mean you’re the “primary carer” (as there has to be one, even when parents have the children 50/50) but presumably that’s because you used to have the children more than he did, so it made sense then. That’s historical data though, and no longer relevant. Anyone with half a brain and some common sense could see that. Just because your name is down as the point of call for their extracurricular clubs, are you essentially suggesting he should be paying you for that?

Hypothetically, if the children were with him and needed a GP appointment would their father ask you to call and get an appt or would he do it himself? If he does it himself, what difference does it make who’s details they have down as a point of contact? The reality is you (by your own admission) do half of the childcare so it only makes sense that you pay for what you do, and he pays for what he does.

Why does he also need to pay you? You’re not his employee.

Only private dental and medical was mentioned before now their phone bills too.

It’s irrelevant what happened in the past, no matter how butthurt you want to be over ‘unfairness’.

You are no longer the primary carer. You have openly said you share equal care, and in fact he has had them more than you have in recent months. He pays for private medical and dental, and has until now contributed £300 a month to you despite not needing to. He is covering the costs of the children when they are with him, and contributing to their costs when they are with you.

I strongly suspect that once he has claimed one child benefit, he will then apply to the courts to get a child arrangement order.

What exactly is it your need more money for? Are you struggling to feed or clothe your children while they're with you?

Where has anyone got that OP earns £60k.

Unless some kind of vapid tik-tokker it's not possible that someone this evidently thick can be earning more than the national average.

From a prior thread.

Given that he provides private medical and dentist for the children, he must be down on those, and doing any associated admin (which I know must be minimal, but if OP is counting medical admin).

But that's not quite true OP is it? You had another post a number of weeks ago where you asked if you aibu to claim maintenance and you were resoundingly told you would be, you were told you wouldn't be entitled to it, hat it would jeopardise your co-parenting relationship and that their father did an equal share of care and already gave you money monthly when he didn't need to.

If I recall correctly you ended that seemingly in agreement that upon reflection you would cancel the claim and the co-parent relationship was more important than the money but yet here we are with £££ in your eyes having continued the claim and now having the audacity to complain that your ex isn't happy and is rightly seeking 50% of the children's benefits.

This is a problem of your own making where Instead of taking the advice on board from your last thread which clearly didn't go how you wanted you've doubled down and make everything worse for yourself. Don't be surprised if he stops giving you any money at all once your maintenance claim has been denied and you lose half your child benefit.

OP admitted in her previous thread that he would make the appointments on his time and take them on his time. She even admitted that if a school trip letter or other letter came home on his time that he would action it. Her agitation was that in her opinion she sometimes got the letters home more on her time and when posters suggested she ask ex to sort whatever it was if she found it unequal she stated it was just easier to do it herself and then admitted that ex would however responded right away and always transfer his 50% immediately.

Let's be honest, she's pissed off that she's found out how much ex earns and feels like she's entitled to some of it despite admitting that she herself earns well above average at around the 60k mark. It's greed nothing more