Child Benefit Rival Claim Ex Partner Earning Loads!!!!!

[ProlongedAffair]

Me and my ex share 50/50 of our two children, it’s not court ordered but has been in place for the past few years. A few months ago I put in a claim for CMS and was awarded it, they see me as the primary carer because I get both children’s child benefits. I also discovered my ex is earning a 6 figure salary.

Last week I got a letter from child benefit saying that he is challenging my claim. I said to the lady that he earns too much to claim and I suspect he’s only claiming so he can try to get out of CMS. She told me that because he has the children for half the time and child benefit isn’t means tested, the likelihood is they will award child benefit one each! Surely that can’t be correct, can anyone advise who has been through their rival claims process?? He will then be able to claim CMS from me!!

No. The reason he has gone for a claim is because you decided on the basis of discovering he earns more now that you wanted a slice of the pie and went after more of his money.
you had a great arrangement where he paid you significantly even though you gave 50:50 but in your greed, once you decided he now earned ‘loads’ you decided you deserved some.

you can’t seem to understand that as long as the dc are being adequately maintained, he doesn’t owe YOU an uplift in lifestyle.

you’ve screwed yourself into a messy knot where you will likely end up worse off. But you seem determined not to listen to everyone telling you this.

What ‘nonsense’ would this be?

they have close to 50:50. HE has them slightly MORE than the OP does.

he still paid maintenance out of choice.

the OP then decided on the basis of discovering that he earns more now that she wanted more of his pie.

the only one being nonsensical here is the OP.

if you have the dc less than 50% and your ex allowed you to have all CB and the ex gave you money he didn’t have to wouldn’t you just shut the hell up and be grateful?

Was he paying maintenance prior to contacting cms? Clearly this is his way at reducing it. I can see this turning into a battle. I think you need to speak to him and agree an arrangement where he contributes a set amount but allows you to make the claim otherwise accept with 50/50 custody he is within his right to make the claim. The only way to stop that is cutting his contact below 50% and that is not a good idea as you would be using your children as pawns to get more money out of him. That only plays to make him look like a victim if he takes you to court.

He was giving her £300pm and she decided she wanted more, hence why she's in this mess.

Income is not relevant. If he has kids half the time then you should be supporting them when he has them same way he does when you have them. Why should he pay you a fortune when half the time he has the kids? Fact is if he should pay you £500 a month for example and you should pay him £300 then ultimately you would receive £200. It's that simple. You dont get to let him bare the cost of looking after them half the time but still take both lots of benefit and expect the full amount of maintenance. Kids are not tools for you to screw your ex for every penny you can get.

Were your circumstances the same as mine? 50/50 overnights etc.

@Withoutfearorfavour BTW I did tell them that on the phone when they first contacted me months ago but because he’s disputed it, it’s frozen the money and they are investigating the claim. I’ve had to fill in two separate long forms now about where the children live, who they are registered with, who pays for what etc.

Have you done that honestly and said he has them more and what he pays for @ProlongedAffair

Do not lie.

He will be filling out the same forms. Do not assume that he won’t provide a full and detailed record of expenses (that will almost certainly be greater than yours, considering that he is paying for private medical and dental), as well as supporting evidence of the fact that he does share their care with you equally. He will.

I’ve filled in the forms honestly and haven’t lied but obviously I have no idea what he has written.

A couple of weeks ago you admitted that your ex had had your children more often than you over the last few months. Did you fill the forms in honestly with that little nugget?

He is not making above the threshold where that would apply.

Furthermore he does share care equally (actually, he’s been having them for a greater share of time in recent months), was making discretionary payments to OP of £300 a month, fully covers the costs when they are in his care, and pays for private medical and dental for them. He is almost certainly spending more to support them than OP is.

OP had a very favorable co-parenting arrangement with her ex prior to getting greedy.

My sons dad does one night a week his mum does one night a week and he doesn’t work and claims benefits I don’t get any child maintenance as he does over 52 nights a year. Which is crazy to me as he’s just about to go on his 5th holiday this year and I have to pack nappies and clothes when it’s his day but unfortunately some people love to play systems and life’s easier when you let things go then get bitter x

I said he had them an additional night but that the arrangement is 50/50 and that’s out of the ordinary. I also included everything that has mine and the children’s names on, plus everything I pay for, proof that he is doing this to get out of paying CMS.

Also the fact that for many years he only saw them every other weekend and it’s only been in the last few years (I.e recent) that we’ve had this 50/50 arrangement.

That is utterly irrelevant. What matters is the arrangement now.

Child benefit is forward looking so although you were the primary career, in recent months he's been (by having the extra day) the primary carer and going forward you expect it to be equal. They might let you claim one each.

And tbh to him he's not trying to get out of paying you've said he'd had them more than 50%, paid half of school trips etc, covered private medical and dental and still been giving you £300 a month. He's not refusing to contribute

They’re not going to take issue with him ‘trying to get out of paying CMS’ when he’s not liable to pay it. This isn’t something that will reflect badly on him at all.

That you pay for, or that he also contributes towards with the discretionary £300 he can prove he was sending you? He will be doing exactly the same as you, and I’m not sure why you think your financial burden is going to be greater than his.

I'm not from the UK so don't know the system but surely if they make you pay a % of your earnings in child maintenance then they would also make him pay a % of his to you (which would be more) so you wouldn't lose out anyway?

What part of this aren't you getting??

You got the claim because you said you had both children's CB. Which you did. And it didn't matter because you were being given a VOLUNTARY £300 a month by the other parent who has them not just 50/50 but slightly more than you.

He has been entitled to at least one CB the whole time. Are you that dim you can't grasp that concept? He's been entitled to at least one, maybe both the whole time. But because you're a benefit claimer and he's not, he's done the nice thing and let you keep CB for both. You are not entitled to both and never have been the fact you have both, is down to it making no difference to him, and so he lets you have both and claim more benefits because it does make a difference to you.

Then you got more greedy. I say more because he was already giving you £300 he didn't have too.

You put in a claim on CB you had...but technically weren't entitled too. So of course they gave you the claim. He's now absolutely correctly adjusting the CB to reflect the actual custody situation and you're going to be up the creek with loads less UC, no CB and paying him maintenance. All because you got greedy.

He's not "trying to get out" of CMS. You've been claiming on information that wasn't factually correct, but he had let slide. You were only "entitled" because the CB he was letting you have painted a false scenario. He's not getting out of anything. You're going to get exactly the correct amount.

He has them marginally more than OP, so she could find herself losing at least one child benefit, and being the only one paying maintenance.

More likely, they will find that neither are liable to pay maintenance to the other. If however they decide that each is to pay maintenance to the other, OP will have to minus one child benefit and the £300 he was voluntarily sending to her (as well as any financial contribution he was making for activities and items she was paying for during her time with them). If they do decide that, that is something he can dispute up to tribunal, and pursue her for reimbursement of any overpayment.

Something has gone wrong there. 52 nights a year gives the NRP a reduction of 1/7, not no liability. I suggest you request a mandatory reconsideration.

No one is going to be looking at what happened in previous years. And as he was paying you more than required that’s not really a gotcha from you.

you seem determined to believe you are hard done by, by a man who has 50:50, and voluntarily pays you £300 a months and who allows you to have both lots of CB.

you’ve had it so good but your greed is going yo be your comeuppance

I personally can't believe you think you should be getting all the money, plus some, when he does AT LEAST 50%. He did more during that period, whether it's only an extra day or not. You're taking the p*. If you want to earn more then retrain in the 50% of the week you don't need to do any childcare.

He has been entitled to at least one CB the whole time. Are you that dim you can't grasp that concept?

Actually, remembering this is OP we're dealing with, I'll just spell that out. He's been entitled to it for the entire time you've had 50/50 split. As in the last however many years. You've only had both because he's allowed you. Not because you're entitled. He owes you zero maintenance. There's no maintenance to "get out of"