Child Benefit Rival Claim Ex Partner Earning Loads!!!!!

[ProlongedAffair]

Me and my ex share 50/50 of our two children, it’s not court ordered but has been in place for the past few years. A few months ago I put in a claim for CMS and was awarded it, they see me as the primary carer because I get both children’s child benefits. I also discovered my ex is earning a 6 figure salary.

Last week I got a letter from child benefit saying that he is challenging my claim. I said to the lady that he earns too much to claim and I suspect he’s only claiming so he can try to get out of CMS. She told me that because he has the children for half the time and child benefit isn’t means tested, the likelihood is they will award child benefit one each! Surely that can’t be correct, can anyone advise who has been through their rival claims process?? He will then be able to claim CMS from me!!

But they have to open a case to assess the facts of the case? They can’t do it in reverse?

He’s always been good at paying maintenance so I thought he’d just go with what CMS recommended. Plus I told him CMS wouldn’t let me legally open a case unless I was entitled to it, which is still my understanding.

That's not the case. CMS have to open the case to establish entitlement.

What if CMS had come knocking for you one day, and that was the first you had heard of an issue, and you called him to say WTF? And his answer was “well , I did the sums and I had them one more night than you last quarter, so I thought I would put a claim in, and they allowed it cos I did more overnights”

Would you have thought “ah, fair enough” or would you have thought “why didn’t you talk to me about this first?!” and start thinking of ways to fight it?

"He was always generous, so just pushed my luck"

Saying well i thought CMS would only let me open a case unless I was legally entitled to it would be fair enough if you hadn't lied and said you were primary carer. When he has them 50%, has recently had more days with them, pays you money anyway, transfers extra for half of trips etc, covers them on his insurance and takes them to appointments when they're with him but self declare as primary carer because you sign school paperwork.

He thought differently. He thought you were taking the mick and lying so is doing what he can to establish himself as equal or primary carer. Once the child benefit is resolved he can go back to CMS and when they recalculate it maybe he will just stick to their recommended amount.

So WHY DID YOU PUSH FOR MORE? Seriously. He paid when he wasn’t obliged to but when you found out he earned more than you thought you wanted a slice of the pie?
you are not married. His money is not your money.
what are you not getting????

She's not getting his money, that's the problem.

I agree

@ProlongedAffair

as you have been told by several people- one of whom works in family law, others who have a been in your ex-husband’s position (or rather their partner has)- that is not the case. They do get it wrong, not infrequently and do not always understand their own rules.

Secondly, by seeking to (fairly) get CB for one child to accurately reflect the 50:50 custody, he can evidence to CMS that this is the case. He’s seeking to defend himself from your unreasonable demands, starting by establishing that he has equal custody of your children.

From what you have said, you would have been far better to approach him directly to discuss increased support amicably. He may have refused (quite rightly in my view), but at least you’d have had the decency to discuss it with him. Instead, you went for the nuclear option out of greed and did not properly investigate what the consequences could be.

Now, you have damaged your amicable co-parenting relationship with your ex-husband and may well comf out financially no better off. As he can evidence 50:50 custody and financial support, it is almost certain you will lose one set of CB. You are unlikely to get much, if anything, by way of child maintenance- especially if he can show that he already pays more than 50% of costs, has at least 50% custody (and if he can show more than 50% over last 3-6 months, then you might actually end up paying him) and does his share of taking to dentist/dr etc. (which you have said he does). I think this is case of “be careful what you wish for”.

FWIW, in your ex-husband’s position I would be doing exactly as he is doing- defending himself from you as you have shown you can’t be trusted to act fairly and honestly. I would probably go down the legal route of ensuring shared custody to prevent you from unilaterally changing custody arrangements for financial gain. I hope you don’t do this, as it would be a terrible thing to do that to your children.

Right. I cannot accept that anyone is as dense as the OP is pretending to be.

Any updates?

Plus I told him CMS wouldn’t let me legally open a case unless I was entitled to it, which is still my understanding

I just told Gerard Butler that the deed poll office wouldn't let me legally change my name to Mrs Butler unless I was entitled to be his wife, which is still my understanding.

I will update with what happens with the child benefit

Me neither

@ProlongedAffair Any decisions yet? Did he get awarded everything?

@chaosmaker It hasn’t been decided yet. They asked for more information which I’ve sent, so it will probably be a while before it’s settled.

Fair play to you for coming back to update, given the amount of stick you've been getting (from myself included!)
Most would have just disappeared when they don't get the replies they want.

I’m sure somebody’s already said this, but you need to seek, I think it’s a section one of the children’s act to circumvent the CMS completely.
Go and see a solicitor.

I’ve said I will update so I will, and it may be useful to others in the future if they find themselves in this situation. I still can’t believe the CMS would let me open a case and receive money if I’m not entitled to it.

I’ve already looked into this, and unless your ex-partner is earning tons (like £200k+) it’s pretty much a waste of time and money it would cost instructing solicitors. If you look at most cases where people have gone to court regarding finances using Section 1 of the Children’s Act, it’s usually involving celebrities or millionaires who have massive wealth.

I don’t know to be honest because one of my friends went through that process and secured private school payments until the child finished private school. And Maintainence above the CMS pay grade. I think the threshold is about 150,000.
How close is he to that?

They wouldn’t.
The issue is, they have no teeth.

The enforcement process is pitiful, which is why so many women just accept the crumbs.
I’ve used different countries versions of the child support service and believe me men are genuinely terrified of missing payments. They would start selling things before they would miss a deadline. It’s just this country that’s pathetic.

I’ve been looking into it and it does appear that the CMS defaults to me being the primary carer because I claim both of the child benefits, which explains why he is now trying to rival claim it.

Yes, absolutely.
My ex tried that nonsense and I just said very firmly to the child benefit department that it was not the case and that I am the primary carer and they accepted that.

Just be very assertive on the phone.

Did you have 50/50 care ?
OP has 50/50 care so technically she isn't the primary carer they are both have shared caring responsibilities.
Being assertive and telling them she is primary carer would be fraud