Child Benefit Rival Claim Ex Partner Earning Loads!!!!!

[ProlongedAffair]

Me and my ex share 50/50 of our two children, it’s not court ordered but has been in place for the past few years. A few months ago I put in a claim for CMS and was awarded it, they see me as the primary carer because I get both children’s child benefits. I also discovered my ex is earning a 6 figure salary.

Last week I got a letter from child benefit saying that he is challenging my claim. I said to the lady that he earns too much to claim and I suspect he’s only claiming so he can try to get out of CMS. She told me that because he has the children for half the time and child benefit isn’t means tested, the likelihood is they will award child benefit one each! Surely that can’t be correct, can anyone advise who has been through their rival claims process?? He will then be able to claim CMS from me!!

I’m really confused. Why did you think you were entitled to CMS if it’s 50/50 care?

Because greed I assume.

I consider myself an amazing singer.

He is entitled to the claim. It doesn’t matter whether he is going to take the money or not. He is entitled to the claim.

His salary has nothing to do with it. Whether he takes the money or not has nothing to do with it. They don’t matter. What don’t you understand about that? It doesn’t matter. Child benefit gives a parent a lot more power than just the money; it makes you the “resident parent” pretty much, schools with default to you, medical care etc. Evidence of the CB claim in your name can be used for all of that. It’s nothing to do with the actual money.

He is 100% going to get the CB for one of the children.

Doesn’t matter. You’re not. It’s 50:50. Your own CMS claim admits to that, and he also pays for more things than you including their health care.
You’re not the primary carer. The CB office will not believe you are just because you say so, you’re not.

Even if you do more than 50% of things like dentists appointments , school reading books, play dates etc , you’re legally not the primary carer as you have 50/50.

So you have 50:50 care...but you want CMS and both CB amounts too.

Saving for a summer holiday per chance?

Well for a start, the government gets to keep it, so that's a reason for them to award it to him!
I'm not discussing his wage with a forum of strangers, but it's enough that he would have to pay tax on it/pay it all back. The only reason he claimed it was was so the CMS took that into account.
He told her if she wanted to stop her claim then he'd let her keep it but she insisted on doing the CMS thing and was apoplectic when she got a letter stating he was counter claiming and SHE also had to pay HIM!

You might be the primary carer but if the care is actually 50/50 as you've confirmed several times you won't get child maintenance via CMS. If he's been paying you voluntarily you've really rocked the boat by going to CMS. How much he earns is irrelevant with 50/50. The child benefit is an additional factor when you go down the formal route. Bit of an own goal by the sounds of it....

He has 100 percent been advised this course of action by a lawyer.

Reason is this: child maintenance has no investigatory branch. It "accepts" the word of the person putting in the claim as to nights with kids etc. To challenge you have to go to a Tribunal.

Child benefit has an investigatory branch because it is a gateway benefit and leads to the award of other benefits and potentially rights. For example, when my stepdaughter was applying for secondary school we (including her mum who we have a great relationship with) wanted her to go to a school in our catchment area (full 50/50 week on week off). The Local Authority queried our address as the "home" address because her mum claimed the child benefit (with our full consent as I earn over threshold). Any family lawyer would advise in an acrimonious situation that you retain child benefit of one child to maintain legal rights as a result.

OP kindly, they will award him one child as there is no means test for the benefit. The organisation doesn't care if you feel you carry more of the mental load. They care about the nights at each home. They don't care about his salary because the award is not means tested, anyone can claim it and repay.

As others have pointed out you may end up losing a lot of money in other ways. Can you afford that?

Your children are happy and settled. You appear to be risking a huge coparenting breakdown in circumstances where you will end up financially worse off.

I sincerely hope you aren't thinking of keeping the kids from him as punishment for this mess because sadly it is your mess.

I understand how frustrating it must be to see him earn so much especially if things are tough for you. But take a step back and see how you can salvage this.

OP hasn't said that the children were going without while they were with her, just that he earns more. There's a difference. As long as they are provided for and have a decent living standard in both homes, the fact that he earns six figures shouldn't matter. I don't think he's petty at all, good for him.

Why don't you link your other thread OP?
So people can see you're not poor, are earning way above the average, and how good your co parenting was, with all your ex did, until you got greedy and shafted yourself?

I consider myself the queen of the universe. Unfortunately, unless everybody else gets on board, that doesn't really mean anything. Similarly, you can consider yourself the primary caregiver, but since you are only doing 50% of the caregiving, nobody else is going to get on board with that.

Yes he will likely get CB for one child as you are 50/50. Just because you would get money from a claim and he wouldn't, doesn't make him any less entitled to it.

With regards to the CMS claim, yes you could both end up paying CMS but obviously the amounts would be different because of income. Use the CMS calculator to work out amounts for both of you.

Claiming CB for both children and trying to claim CMS whilst 50/50 is bloody cheeky so I don't blame him for doing it

What's the other thread please? Because this one is odd

I highly doubt that he’ll end up having to pay maintenance at all. He doesn’t earn above the amount where that would be expected despite care being shared 50/50. So no maintenance, and OP will be down one lot of child benefit.

I don’t know if anyone advised you OP, but if someone did they 1, are a fucking idiot, or 2, don’t in fact like you.

You’ve sacrificed a good coparenting relationship to end up financially worse off.

Another that don't understand why you put a claim in for Child maintenance when you both have the children 50% of the time.

As a few had said CB shows primary carer and gives that parent more rights on regards to the child. It's not just about money, it's a position of responsibility.

In terms of CMS, I've known a few men, paying reasonable amounts, every month, family agreement. Something has he happened, their Ex has gone to CMS and they've ended up paying less. Either because the men didn't factor in new partners children, amount of time they have the children or they just felt better paying more than they should.

Some of their Ex's have then asked to go back to a family agreement and they have said no. I can't be certain on all, but certainly a couple of them were taken to CMS without being told. I don't know if you can cancel CMS once they start (as the claimant).

Money isn't the root of all evil, greed of it is.

Because she learned he was on six figures, she was incensed by this and thought she’d like some of it. For no reason other than petty jealousy.

Since when?

Cab you explain how you are the primary carer?
In what ways ?

If you had answered this 24 hrs ago you maybe wouldn’t have got such a hard time. .

When you have 50/50 there isn't really a 'Primary carer'. I'd be very surprised if you were awarded CMS based on you having equal overnights. I earn a lot more than my ex and he tried to put a claim in against me which was denied due our agreement being 50/50.

Also to make you aware op if you claim benefits for both of your children and he gets awarded child benefit for one, you will only be able to claim for the one on your child benefit.

But why would you go for cms for someone you share the kids with 50/50 saying you're the primary carer? Screams money grabbing

In the previous thread (assuming it was the same OP which hasn't been denied) the OP felt she carries more of the "mental load" and has to fill out forms for school and remind him about school events. He paid her £300 per month notwithstanding 50/50 but she felt she deserved child maintenance for all the mental load she carried.