Child Benefit Rival Claim Ex Partner Earning Loads!!!!!

[ProlongedAffair]

Me and my ex share 50/50 of our two children, it’s not court ordered but has been in place for the past few years. A few months ago I put in a claim for CMS and was awarded it, they see me as the primary carer because I get both children’s child benefits. I also discovered my ex is earning a 6 figure salary.

Last week I got a letter from child benefit saying that he is challenging my claim. I said to the lady that he earns too much to claim and I suspect he’s only claiming so he can try to get out of CMS. She told me that because he has the children for half the time and child benefit isn’t means tested, the likelihood is they will award child benefit one each! Surely that can’t be correct, can anyone advise who has been through their rival claims process?? He will then be able to claim CMS from me!!

Let’s hope he claims for the youngest one.

Perhaps he should go to court to formalise the 50/50 arrangement.

Unfortunately, OP, he sounds spiteful and petty and happy to deprive his own children of money they're entitled to to live. They're the ones who will lose out. IF someone can get him to see that, there's not much you can do.

Oh yes I remember that thread.

It wasn't even all the forms, she said that usually he filled out the forms that arrived on his time but sometimes if she saw the form before him she'd do it. There was no other examples whatsoever of how she carried more mental load and she was advised that she'd messed up by being greedy and needed to backtrack.

If it is OP, she's decided not to and has got into an even worse situation, and is still ignoring all the advice she's been given. She's obviously not going to be happy until she's completely destroyed the coparenting relationship and lose as much money as possible.

It definitely sounds like the same OP going by the greed and complete lack of self-awareness.

Yeah, he's the spiteful one. 🙄

You may find this hard to believe but the man isn't always in the wrong. Sometimes women are actually wrong.

He is providing for his children, they are not being deprived. They benefit from his income the 50% of the time they are with him, he pays for activities etc. I'm usually on side of the mother but not here - she's the petty one, greedy and grabby too. They are not together but she wants to share his income as if they were. If OP suddenly drip feeds, saying she's penniless, kids are starving and cold at her home then fair enough. But that isn't the case, she just wants a share of his money. If it backfires, she's bought it on herself.

And as a previous poster has said, you will also lose all benefits for that child, UC child element, any DLA etc if he gets the CB which he likely will. You've put yourself in this situation.

He is claiming knowing he won't actually get it financially, because he earns too much, but still wants to prevent her from getting it to benefit his own child.

That is spiteful.

It’s the only thing he can do to protect himself from having a spiteful ex be the mother of his children who is out to get all she can from him, despite not really being entitled to it. The only way to show she isn’t entitled to it is to have one of the CB claims in his name so he can hold that up to child maintenance service.

She could have carried on getting both CB claims as well as the £300 a month he gave her in a private arrangement. She went after more out of pure jealousy of his salary and without the CB claim in his name, he is being asked to pay a lot more in maintenance. He needs it to protect himself from her.

He was perfectly fine with her claiming the child benefit until she tried to use that against him by filing a CMS claim presenting herself as primary carer hence they actually split 50/50. He’s not trying to take the benefit from her now out of spite, he’s doing it to stop the fact that she’s claiming the benefit from being used against him for other matters.

Who is entitled to receive child benefit for a given child is linked to quite a few other things -including CMS claims - so denying a parent the right to claim the benefit just because they earn more isn’t an option.

This situation is exactly why you don’t have a kid with someone you aren’t married to. If he earns more and is willing to do 50/50 custody you are royally screwed.

Are you the OP under a different name? I don't understand your 'logic' here at all. She is the one trying to grasp money that isn't hers.

Surely having a partner that wants the child 50/50 is someone you should have kids with.....

And she was claiming for child support knowing that he provides for his children 50% and it's her responsibility to provide the other 50%. That's spiteful. She found out he's earning a six figure salary and got her nose out of joint and wanted money.

Yes if your only priority is money rather than how decent the man is, how loving he is, how much time he spends with his kids

Royally screwed how? In that he’ll support the kid at his house and you’ll be left to do the same at yours? Imagine having to pay your own way!

Why is it ridiculous? He has just as much right to claim from you as you have claiming from him. You each have the kids 50/50. You were being greedy claiming CM from him, so what if he earns more then you.

OP you’re being greedy and now you’re going to end up worse off. You have 50:50 care, he’s your ex, his income is totally irrelevant to your life & he’s not classed as an above & beyond high earner.

I'm actually wondering if this is a wind up? Surely no one is that greedy about getting money from their ex? You've had 50/50 for years and now you suddenly want money from him but if it turns out he can claim from you then it's unfair?? I hope he does get awarded the benefit for one of the children and puts in a claim for CM from you. His earnings has nothing g to do with you, if you want more money get a better job.

Because he has 50% custody. Your respective earnings are irrelevant.

It is difficult to imagine that someone would be greedy enough to ruin what appears to be an equitable and amicable co-parenting arrangement to get a little child support money. But you never know.

Had same happen…ex took one child’s CB then put in a claim for CM first. I then put in a counter claim for CM as he earned loads more than me… CM messed this up and ‘forgot’ about my claim delaying it going through by months and said I had to pay him! Even when I called to explain they just said that’s how it works and I had to pay! Then once my claim eventually went through it ended up me paying him and him paying me the same back as he fiddles his money to make it look like he earns less. I pointed out his four holidays a year and they said I’d have to get a private investigator to prove it. I also pointed out that they were enabling an abusive ex to further financially abuse me. They did not care. Eventually ex dropped the claim and asked me to sign my side of the CB over to him and he’d pay it to me monthly! Obviously that did not happen. The system is ridiculous.

I posted earlier in this thread but I will post again, because at one point in my life (VERY embarrassed about it now) I was OP!

Ex high earner (6 figures), me a lower earner.
50/50 with the children although to be a tiny but fair on me, I do all the admin, buy uniform, coats, shoes, pay for sports clubs etc, sort appointments, exh never taken children ever to dentist, GP or anything so it’s not a true 50/50 but I digress…

I had the child benefit for both children, and also got a universal credit top up which helped with childcare etc.

There was an existing claim open with CMS actually, from before it went to 50/50. ExH tried to have it closed when it went to 50/50 (fair). But I stupidly I read up online and decided I must still be entitled to it, because he earns so much more and also I was providing more for the kids as above.

When I fought back on the claim being closed- he was advised by them that it goes off who has the child benefit, so that’s why he put in a rival claim.

The child benefit was stopped after a month, put on hold while it was all sorted out. It took an age- he was awarded the benefit for one child, and was able to have that child removed off the CMS claim from that.

I appealed the child benefit decision, I send a bundle of evidence to prove I was supporting the children more despite 50/50- I was even paying for after school clubs and school dinners on his time! School trips etc. all evidence of GP, dentist, school address. I also noted their own decision making guidance where the financial impact can be CONSIDERED (as other posters have said).

My appeal wasn’t successful and he still got awarded one child.

I lost the child benefit, and also the universal credit element for that child too. I was financially so much worse off, it was an awful time.

I still got maintenance for one child, but eventually I agreed with exh that if I closed that he would let me claim the child benefit again, and I got my universal credit back for that child.

On the plus side we now have a much better relationship and he accepts that I pay for far more for the children than him, and even though we have 50/50 he pays maintenance every month voluntarily. So alls well that ends well.

Thank you for sharing, your reflection is really interesting. Pleased to hear things are better for you now.

Before going after maintenance, did you ever sit down and have a discussion about those extra costs? Especially the lunches and after school club on his weeks? Did you try using a mediator?