Child Benefit Rival Claim Ex Partner Earning Loads!!!!!

[ProlongedAffair]

Me and my ex share 50/50 of our two children, it’s not court ordered but has been in place for the past few years. A few months ago I put in a claim for CMS and was awarded it, they see me as the primary carer because I get both children’s child benefits. I also discovered my ex is earning a 6 figure salary.

Last week I got a letter from child benefit saying that he is challenging my claim. I said to the lady that he earns too much to claim and I suspect he’s only claiming so he can try to get out of CMS. She told me that because he has the children for half the time and child benefit isn’t means tested, the likelihood is they will award child benefit one each! Surely that can’t be correct, can anyone advise who has been through their rival claims process?? He will then be able to claim CMS from me!!

That’s on her though- doesn’t mean she should be entitled to money from her ex if he has the kids 50% of the time.

So you’re fraudulently claiming CMS from him so he’s just doing what he can to prove this. Seems like he was happy for you to claim child benefit until you went after his money that you have no right to. It’s perfectly fair.

You shouldnt be getting and maintenance from him if its 50/50

It sounds like youve been a greedy little pixie and he's rightfully called you out on it. Hopefully you end up with nothing.

Why do you think you are entitled to his money in a 50/50 parenting setup?

HRTFT but I know someone awarded one each. The biggest problem was that school places (catchment areas) go with the primary parent's address. They both ended up at a school closer to the ex because he had the eldest DC and she didn't want them at different schools. She was actually fortunate to get the younger DC a place there.

After reading your update . I don’t think you have a chance of “winning “ this
He clearly does his 50/50 share time wise and financially .
He does clubs and payments and medical care and his school drop offs etc on his time .
There’s only holidays and school trips left really which he know doubt does on his time.
You would have been better off with keeping two child maintenance and not claiming cms as you are not entitled to it .

Maybe have a think and approach him and say you realise you have been unreasonable and you will drop the cms claim if he drops the child benefit.

If you are actulay struggling on your 50% of the time then isn’t he reasonable enough to help out without it being forced and him made do more than he already does ?

He will get awarded one child’s child benefit because it’s a 50:50 split. You should not have gone for CMS.

He is in the right, you are not @ProlongedAffair

OP are you actually struggling financially? What do you earn? Are you unable to provide your dc with their basic needs whilst with you? Is this situation of you struggling to heat and eat or is it a case of you recently discovering your ex is getting paid more than he was and you feel like you should get some of that pie?

you aren’t together anymore. What he earns is not relevant to you or your quality of life anymore. As long as it’s 50:50 and the dc are not at risk due to you actually properly struggling financially then why does you think you deserve more money from him?

Frankly, you were greedy and went for everything, because you banked on people thinking poor you, because your ex has a better job... even though you don't have the children any more than he does. Arguably he provides more. Now you're going to get exactly what you're entitled too. Karma.

But surely in that case he’d need to pay you a % of earnings too which would presumably outweigh both the loss of CB & CM?

It would be pointless him claiming child maintenance from you but its equally pointless you claiming it from him when he has them 50% of the time, whether or not he earns more than you, you just sound greedy tbh and I wouldn't blame him for being annoyed by it did you lie to get it? Because if you told them he had them half the time I doubt you would have got it

No, she's been greedy and currently gets more than she's entitled too. She has 50/50 care, but claims CB for both children herself, and set up a claim getting CMS for both children from him.

Of course the father has gone "wtf is this nonsense" on receiving a CMS claim for the two children he has exactly half the time. He's only reacting to OP by doing exactly what she's doing to him. Getting CB for one of the children, then claiming maintenance off someone who has that child the same amount of time.

Evidently in OPs brain, it's perfectly ok for her to be greedy, but not ok for the other parent to flip her own tactics back on her.

Just desserts for OP.

If she was genuinely poor and the kids suffering then you might have a moral point. But I dont think this is the case here as they have been in the current arrangement for a number of years quite happily. Both OP and her kids would have been aware of any differences in lifestyles. The only reason she has put that claim in is that she has suddenly somehow found out what his actual wage is and wants a piece of it.

The only way to keep the chikd benefit is by communicating with your ex that you are cancelling the cms payment chase I'm afraid. Unless he's really not paying for big things like uniforms or school fees or things that should be 50/50 but you find you're covering them all on your time, otherwise his salary is irrelevant now.

@Imisscoffee2021

I think it's too late for that now.

The ex has realised that he needs to protect his parental rights by formalising his 50:50 care arrangements.

The OP hasn't clarified it she's receiving UC payments.
* If she isn't, then she's on a decent wage, so why is she doing this?
* If she is, then she's going to end up losing a large amount of money due to her ridiculous money grubbing.

I guess, as a taxpayer, I should be thanking her.

These are the rules for 50/50 care. Does he realistically have 50/50.
overnights and all expenses.
IF yes then yabu.
It is shit but that is that.

@LePetitMaman i don’t actually disagree with you, just pointing out that it’s not likely to just go one way. If they both have parental responsibility for one child, that they both have 50:50 and he has a claim on her, she should have a claim on him. OP can’t have it both ways, if she wants money from him he should be able to get it from her. But from what she said she earns way less so surely that then means she’d still end up with more,
assuming any calculations are done on a proportion basis.

If I’d been in his position, I’d have done the same and fought back.

As I said earlier, this shouldn’t even be an argument. It seems as if the CMS have made a mistake. In a true 50/50 there is statute https://www.legislation.gov.uk/uksi/2012/2677/regulation/50 that prevents them making an assessment. If ex challenged them on that basis from everything OP has said, he’d win. Generally as solicitors we don’t get involved in this type of challenge - it’s black and white and once someone competent at CMS is told it’s a true 50/50, the assessment will be cancelled.
Morally, if he earns a lot more there’s an argument that a little maintenance or shouldering main cost of things like clubs, uniforms, school trips, wouldn’t go amiss, but who’s to say that his mortgage isn’t 4 times higher than OP’s?
The child benefit is separate. May well go one each and whilst in the absence of evidence to the contrary the CMS can assume the children mostly live with the recipient, it’s not conclusive and will be disregarded once they know this is 50/50.
The CMS assessment is wrong. IN LAW. That might be because OP said DC are mostly with her, or it might be that they just assumed that as lots of people say shared care which isn’t actually exact 50/50, or it might be that a mistake has been made. The only reason the assessment is right is if the children are with OP more nights than half.
It can be debated until the cows come home but the statute is binding on the CMS.

“ Two child benefit “
not two child maintenance

I am not quite sure why, if it really is 50:50 custody and expenses, it is “shit”? What is shit about the situation? Why does OP need more than 50% of the costs of looking after her children when they are only resident with her 50% of the time? Her ex-husband’s earning more than she realised (she was happy with the arrangement until she knew he earned more, then wanted a slice of that pie) in no way impacts on her finances. it’s irrelevant. Unless she is living in the breadline and unable to feed, house herself and her children, which she does not mention, so I’ll assume is not the case- her ex-husband does not owe her a better standard of living. He owes her 50% of the expenses of their joint children.

Arguably, if he pays 50% of expenses (shoes/clothes, extra-curriculars/ leisure hobbies etc) and also pays all dental expenses and private medical care, he actually pays more than op already. And that is fine, if he can afford it and wants to provide non-essentials like private medical care.

In my view, OP may end up worse off- as one poster above who works in the field has shown- as she is actually likely to not be legally entitled to CMS if the custody is genuinely 50:50- and now will miss out on CB too. This genuinely is a case of greed and now OP is getting only what she deserves. Her ex-husband is merely seeking to be treated fairly and protect himself financially from her avarice. And possibly also seeking to establish primary career status in case OP starts to mess around with custody arrangements- I imagine he now trusts OP a lot less and I imagine an amicable co-parenting arrangement where mutual trust, agreement and generosity is not going to be easy going forward.

What if it genuinely is 50:50?

For example with us:
DH does haircuts and optician
ExW does dentist
Both go to every school event and school know who to contact on which day in the event of an illness.

Uniform, trip and lunch costs are 50:50
Clothing and shoes are 50:50, she has a full wardrobe at each house.

CB investigators would have no way of splitting hairs for a contested claim. DH just didn’t bother contesting it.

Good point regarding him possibly establishing primary carer status. If he's paying private medical and dental, on top of "50/50" then he's got a good chance of proving it.

I don't know how you are reading that.

There's a very small minority of people who are attempting to claim that when a couple splits up the higher earner is responsible for supporting the other's lifestyle forever.

Most disagree, and the law sides with them. The posters making that claim would have a different view if the roles were reversed and the Dad was attempting to get money off the Mum.

Everyone else has told you, you are going to lose the CB and get no maintenance. You can either apologise now and try to sort it out or you can keep on attempting to be greedy and wind up in a much worse situation. Up to you.

So as well as doing true 50/50, and being listed on everything (except GP) he also pays for private medical and dental himself for both kids?

I take back my previous comment about this potentially being a difficult thing to know the circumstances about. He sounds like he is 100% still trying to support his kids fully and give them the same benefits they had in the relationship, and you are a grabby individual who just wants a part of his salary.

OP - ateotd you are as equally responsible financially for your children as your ex-partner. Why do you think otherwise?
Revealingly, you have still failed to say if you work at all and if you do, how many hours.