Child Benefit Rival Claim Ex Partner Earning Loads!!!!!

[ProlongedAffair]

Me and my ex share 50/50 of our two children, it’s not court ordered but has been in place for the past few years. A few months ago I put in a claim for CMS and was awarded it, they see me as the primary carer because I get both children’s child benefits. I also discovered my ex is earning a 6 figure salary.

Last week I got a letter from child benefit saying that he is challenging my claim. I said to the lady that he earns too much to claim and I suspect he’s only claiming so he can try to get out of CMS. She told me that because he has the children for half the time and child benefit isn’t means tested, the likelihood is they will award child benefit one each! Surely that can’t be correct, can anyone advise who has been through their rival claims process?? He will then be able to claim CMS from me!!

You will not win this. He will receive it for one child.

You seem to be overlooking the issues of fighting over £20 a week

I don’t understand how you can be so certain when other posters are saying that’s not the case

OP if your response to the CB claim is going to be similar to how you communicate here then you might want to reconsider.
You come across as extremely unreasonable, entitled, unable to listen or process information. You really don’t do yourself any favours.

He will be awarded child benefit for one child. Your sacrifice of an amicable co-parenting relationship of 50/50 shared care for perceived financial gain will also be spotted a mile off, and won’t reflect well on you.

Me too
My ex earned 250 grand, me 40, so yes I did get CMS payments on 50/50. We had agreed a very small amount because I did all the leg work, but he insisted on CMS. They awarded a much larger amount, so he deliberately lost his job.

OP’s ex doesn’t earn an amount where this would apply.

Because they’ve googled and found one case with very different circumstances.
The actual facts are that this happens all the time and it goes one child benefit awarded to each parent.

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/divorce_separation/4733821-child-benefit-5050-and-uc

similar scenario and the father won the counter claim. OP lost not only CB but also UC and associated benefits

Jeez
You sound just like my partner's ex.

When children lived with her more partner always paid maintenance
When they lived with us for several years she didn't pay. We decided on balance as the children were older than future harmony was more important than upsetting the co -parenting relationship.
One of the children moved back to mums for a couple of months and a CMS claim was made straight away. No acknowledgement or understanding that they had made no support payment for years and years.
Child then moved back to us but mum would not stop CMS claim and denied that child had moved back.
We had months of hassle and stress and were paying maintenance that child wasn't benefiting from in anyway.

The saddest thing is it really did sour long term harmony and caused a lot of unnecessary resentment.

Your children will one day be adults, do not let your pettiness cause ongoing issues which result in your children distancing themselves or having to choose between their parents.
A harmonious relationship is worth more than anything

If he counter claims to you, you'll still be better off than him as you both pay 12% of your salaries to each other?
Is it 'true' shared care - look that up- if you're the only doing all their dentist and admin and shoe buying etc evidence that and show it to cm

Well, a bit like is it fair that you are claiming money from him when he shares custody and costs 50:50? I don’t think it is, from what you have said.

Moreover, I think you are only able to claim cms, despite the 50:50 custody split (where normally you can’t) because you get both children’s CB and can use this as evidence that you are the primary carer for both children. Without that you would not be able to claim anything from your exHusband in terms of CMS. Arguably, this is not actually accurate and as you are able to claim CMS on the basis of this inaccuracy quite possibly unfair towards your partner (as per the rules).

As a result, your ex-husband is now only seeking what he is entitled to- a split of CB- in order to make sure you can only claim what you are entitled to, in turn.

Your ex-husband may have been happy to let you claim both before, as you (and your children) got a benefit from doing so, whilst he would not. However, once you used that to your advantage against him, he has clearly decided that he has to correct the inaccuracy in order to ensure an accurate assessment can be made as to each of your entitlements from the state and each other. Which seems pretty “fair” to me.

In short, you decided to “game the system” by using your CB claim for both children, which he had not sought to gain despite being eligible, in order to claim (inaccurately) that you are the primary carer despite a 50:50 custody and costs split. Thus, you appeared to be eligible to claim CMS from him, due to your status as a primary care for both children, when in fact, the rules would state that in a custody arrangement such as yours, you are likely only going to be eligible to claim for one child. It is likely you will lose CB payment and cms for one child, but may indeed get cms for the other (plus their CB payment). I imagine any amount of cms you have to pay him would be minimal given your income.

You pushed for everything you thought you were entitled to. It now looks like that is exactly what you will get. I think you may get more in CMS than cB anyway, so may not be a net financial loss.

I'm sorry but you sound like a gold digger to me, yous have 50/50 and your going after his money because he is a higher earner, that's a you problem not his, you want to earn more get a better paid job, he even pays for private medical and dentist, have you not got any respect for yourself at all, sorry but you deserve all that you get when this is over and frankly I hope he wins.

He will get the money in his bank account, but he will pay it back via tax return. I do think it’s quite likely he will be awarded it for one child if you genuinely do 50-50. It is unusual to get maintenance when it’s 50-50, so I do think that it sounds like getting CB for one child will be the start of him stopping the maintenance. I do think it’s a little unfair no maintenance when it’s genuinely 50-50 when the other partner earns a lot more. I guess you will need to make sure that he pays half for all child related costs if he does stop maintenance.

can I ask why you are claiming CMS when it is 50/50?

Legally, you’re each entitled to one CB. If your ex earns too much to actually receive the money, that shouldn’t mean you then get it. It should mean that taxpayers don’t need to fund as much money.

@InterIgnis in fairness to me I didn't want to make a claim, he literally forced me to prove he was right ( he wasn't). I never enforced what the claim (even after he appealed twice) said I was owed.

I don't think an explanation of the legal structure of the judicial system in England and Wales is going to help you work with DWP, no.

If you need to appeal a decision, then previous decisions may help you do that. But only if the decision was unreasonable/unlawful to begin with. Worrying about that before it's been made is rather putting cart before horse. And you may get a decision you dislike, but is still reasonable and stands up, too.

Just be honest, set out the facts clearly and simply, and let the decision-maker do their job.

Sorry OP, but your ex is very likely to be granted joint CB, so receive it for one child. Whilst your 50/50 arrangement isn't court ordered, you've stated this on your CMS claim, it's been in place for years and the schools etc that your children attend would be able to corroborate this. What may happen is that you'll be able to claim CMS from eachother and if he earns significantly more than you, the amount he's expected to pay will be higher, meaning you'd benefit from the difference. Morally speaking, unless your lifestyles are completely different and you're unable to adequately feed, clothe and home your children you shouldn't really be getting anything if their expenses are already split evenly.
You haven't mentioned whether you work or not, so it would depend on your earnings.

@ProlongedAffair my friend, was in this position, and her ex was awarded child benefit for one of the 2 children. In addition she lost the other benefits she was previously entitled to for that child and her ex claimed them instead including childcare element of UC which put her in a rather difficult financial position of her own making because she too tried to claim CMS for a 50/50 split.

Her view was that the CMS calculator said she was entitled to claim it, so she did, her ex appealed, and he won the appeal so not only did she lose all the benefits she previously claimed for one child she also didn't get CMS.

Consider if what you're doing with the CMS claim is really worth it? You're potentially putting yourself into a worse financial position and sabotaging any chance of a good co-parenting relationship which in turn will negatively affect your children

Your ex has gone about this the wrong way. What he should have done is reminded the CMS that under Regulation 50 here: https://www.legislation.gov.uk/uksi/2012/2677/regulation/50 they cannot make an assessment where care of the children (overnights) is equal. As the legislation states, if you get child benefit, they can assume that you have the children more unless they have evidence to the contrary to show that is not the case. That evidence to the contrary can include him detailing the 50/50 arrangement which you don’t dispute.
The child benefit won’t help you if he wakes up to this. The CMS should not have assessed, and you should not have claimed.
How do I know? I‘m a family law solicitor and have dealt with a number of CMS disputes. I was also an advisor to the CMS (not currently).

Just to add, since I semi-retired a few months ago, I’ve continued to deal with only a few cases due to my background, mainly to keep busy (and a smaller income).
If your ex challenged the CMS I think he’d win from everything you said. It’s not unheard of for them to assess when they should not have due to reg 50.

I hid this thread. I'm going to regret answering 😬

why do you think it's justified that she should be contributing less than her ex?

For the same reasons the high earner should contribute more while they're still married. He's ended his responsibility towards the mother, not their shared children.

OP said upthread that she earns ~30k and he makes "six figures". That could be anything from 100k to a million but, going by her arguments, I'm assuming it's the top end.

It strikes me as blindingly obvious he should continue to pay more towards his children's welfare. I'm not a lawyer, mine's a moral position if you like. I'd say it was common sense.

All you fulminating people keep saying is that the ex is paying OP. Well, no, spousal maintenance hasn't been a thing in the UK for a long time now. What you're really saying is that, when a man and his bank account walk away from a marriage, he also walks away from his children.

Mother can't afford the kids' lifestyle by herself? Well, fuck you, kids. I don't care if you have to put up with having two completely different childhoods simultaneously, I'm not paying a penny more than the law says I must. Suck it up.

It's irresponsible and despicable. In my view.

If it's 50/50 you shouldn't be claiming anything. Instead you're being grabby, and look where it's got you. Just desserts?

She’s already said it’s not above the 150k mark. So not top end. Yes he’s going to be better off than the mum but what exactly should he be sharing his wage with his ex to cover? If he pays for uniform/clothes/hobbies they’re all things that will be unimpacted by 50/50 custody. So do you think he should be paying for a nicer house? Or fancier furniture or for mum to be able to afford holidays? It’s not like he’s some millionaire living in a mansion and they’re going back to a council estate flat. Mums on an average wage and has been managing fine until she found out her ex was getting paid more than her.

If this was reversed and mum was earning good money but dad on 30k, no way would so many people be suggesting the mum should be subsidising the dad so the kids can have a like for like experience. They’d prob just tell the mum if dad not able to provide stop sending them as much.