To take away dd(13)s en-suite?

[thatsfunnybecause]

Dd(13) has bedroom with an ensuite, 3 year old is at the moment in a tiny room that basically just fits a bed and wardrobe.

We want to combine dd’s en-suite and DH’s office to make decent size bedroom for 3 year old.

Up until dd(13) was 11 and we moved to a bigger house she always had to share with either younger brother or older step sister.

She thinks as she had to share until she was 11, that younger siblings should share until then or be lucky and get tiny room of their own. And that by the time toddler is that age she will move out and she can have her room.

Is it unreasonable to take away her en-suite?

Some people's entitlement is staggering. No wonder some teenagers can't self manage.

I lived at home until i was 23, dh was 26!

I have a 23 year old at home in a graduate job with another year of exams to go who is saving furiously to get an mortgage and a 21 year old who has another year of university to go.

Out of my adult children’s friends, none have their own home. They all still stay wih their parents.

house prices are astronomical!

and on a side note, my 23 year old has a bedroom that’s got enough space for a bed and a wardrobe. Tiny bedroom but he manages.

My late husband lived with his parents, occupying a tiny bedroom, until we married when he was 26. Even when he was a student! That was in 1975. I always said never marry a man straight from his parents' home, they are a different type altogether to those who have shared flats or whatever and had to do things for themselves and pay household bills. It's better to be hard up and independent. I lived in all sorts of grotty places and am glad I had that experience.

What do you mean? Shared bathrooms usually have doors and locks. What difference does having periods make?

I think having periods makes a lot of difference. Girls naturally want more privacy when their periods start, I know I did and that was very many years ago. I did have my own room but absolutely no privacy which I hated and resented. If two girls are close in age they will soon both be having periods and probably won't mind too much, they will understand and support each other. Also not everyone has a big enough house for children to have their own room so everyone has to make the best of it.

However the op is not talking about a single occupancy bedroom but an en suite. That is a wonderful thing for anyone to have, I'd have absolutely loved it but there was no chance. It would be a bad move to take that away from her daughter after she has been used to having one.

Yanbu

Personal preference but I'm wary of teens having en suites because I fear them being able to hide developing eating disorders, given the insane social pressures on body image (it was bad enough when I was their age)

Privacy is not an issue for this girl, or anyone else in the household, periods or not. They each have a bedroom. There are 6 bathrooms.
It's not a problem.

Just make the office a 'play room' for the 3 year old since you don't need the office based on your plans to lose it anyway.

I would take the ensuite away and make the office into a larger bedroom. There is too much obsession with a toilet each for everyone in a household which is getting ridiculous. The only time I wouldn't is if the DD had IBS or a similar medical issue.

I was replying to a poster who said there are 'plenty of options for the teen to have privacy using a bathroom' - I was pointing out that one of the options was in her parents' bedroom and another on the ground floor - so not really 'plenty' of options.

There are millions of properties with one and only downstairs bathroom, off the kitchen. Family homes, completely usable and appropriate.

And how many of those properties house a family of seven? Sounds a bit slum-like to me.

Yes, might one of the boys jump at trading his normal sized room for two smaller ones (ie one to sleep/chill in plus his own play or study/gaming room)?

My boys would absolutely prefer two rooms @SpideyVerse

It would keep a bedroom with an ensuite for guests.

@LBFseBrom sorry, perhaps I’m being dense but having been a teenage girl, and still have periods now, I am absolutely at a loss as to how much more “privacy” one needs than a bedroom/a bathroom with a door which locks.

I say that as a very private person, in all respects.

Slum like? Oh my god, I grew up in a slum, and millions in the UK are still living in them! 😂

Theres a family bathroom on the same floor, she doesnt have to be schlepping in and out of her mums ensuite

Slum like!!!!

Fucking hell, really get over yourself, get in touch with the real world.

Im out!!!

I was today years old when I learnt I grew up in a slum 😂

here’s me thinking the 4 bed 2 bath our family of 7 moved to when I was 12 was a luxury- certainly was an upgrade from the flats we had lived in mind. turns out it was still poverty

You lived in a family of seven with only one bathroom/toilet - located next to the kitchen? Poor you.

No. Not poor me. We were fine. Millions like us. The house was clean and warm, we were well fed and our education was a priority.
This will shock you - even more recently, me and my husband raised 3 children in a house with one bathroom! They're all successful adults, so seem to have survived it well!

I didn't say there wasn't a family bathroom she could use on the same floor - I said a family of seven sharing one bathroom off the kitchen sounds a bit slum-like.

This is extraordinary, isn't it?!
The wealth and privilege on here.....

Why did you stop at 3 children? It would only shock me if you raised 5 children with one bathroom with teens/young adults still at home.

@Clavinova you have lived a sheltered life if that is shocking to you and for that, you must truly feel blessed.

soupyspoon
There are millions of properties with one and only downstairs bathroom, off the kitchen

It would appear to be thousands of properties rather than millions;

“Downstairs bathrooms are usually found in older properties accessed through the kitchen and despite them featuring in thousands of homes across the UK, they divide opinion,” says Dan Simson, head of home insurance at Direct Line.

https://www.estateagenttoday.co.uk/breaking-news/2018/09/its-an-early-bath-for-downstairs-bathrooms-agents-say-they-wipe-off-value/

Why did I stop at 3 children? Blimey, that's a personal question!
Perhaps growing up in a slum limited my ability to reproduce on a larger scale, I really don't know 😂

Well. This has been most enlightening. It's the first time someone has said "poor you" on hearing about how I grew up.
Extraordinary.