Daughter is wearing inappropriate bikini on family holiday.

[romma]

We are going on holiday to Cyprus and daughter has bought a bunch of thong style bikinis, she’s a teenager but how do I talk to her about it. As there will be extended family

How old is she? If she's under 18 I would throw it away.

19

Tell her they are not appropriate, and why

I have done so. But don’t want to make it seem like she should be ashamed

You don't. She can wear what she likes at 19.

If she's 19 it's her choice, you can't and shouldn't do anything. Are you going to walk around the pool or along the beach telling other people they're dressed inappropriately?

Suggest she holiday alone if she won't compromise and cancel her ticket

Just tell her you’re not grandma, uncle, cousin want to look at her arse. Then leave it up to her.

I'm surprised she wants to flash her bum with extended family there 🤭

Depends on age. If she's 16+ I'd just have a word and say, "if you're hanging out with the wider family, take a sarong" keep it lighthearted.

That’s true she’s old enough to decide but as her mum I feel it’s inappropriate

I know it’s her choice but I would just say gently that grandparents might not appreciate it or something

I’m like at least take some sarongs with you or dresses

It's the beach! I presume Grandad and Uncle Mike are also bringing their flabby tummies out too?

I get you. I'm late 30s and my mum would still tell me off 🤭

It is her choice, but in my opinion it is a little inappropriate when she's on holiday with her parents and extended family. I suppose ultimately you can't stop her. But it is good etiquette to be modest in front of relatives.

I can walk around my house in bra and knickers, but if my brother came round I'd cover up. Not because I have to, just because, well, modesty. And it's an unwritten rule that it's inappropriate

Compromise, ask her to take a couple of full bum ones for when you’re likely to see family and she can wear the other ones when not. My then 20 year old came on a family holiday and had this bikini that I considered way OTT. I told her how inappropriate it was, she moaned, disagreed but then took one decent bikini and ended up wearing it as she suddenly felt conscious in front of her extended family.

Uncle is yes unfortunately. Grandad always wears t shirts

She should 100% take coverups anyway as you need them to walk through most hotels.

we are renting a private villa with its own beach

Is it in Coral Bay by any chance? I only ask as my PIL had a villa there with a similar setup and topless is massive there so I wouldn't worry!

It is near there

What sort of 19 year old wants to strut around infront of their family in a thong bikini?! Sorry but that is odd behaviour and yes inappropriate! OP you are not wrong for having a word with her over this..but quite odd she doesn’t see the problem herself!

I don’t get it honestly. She’s like I want to work on my tan, there’s nothing wrong with the bikinis I have bought. Typical teenager

You are right not to want her to feel that she is embarrassing etc. Put the emphasis on the reactions of the extended family. Explain that while she has nothing to be embarrassed about, it is a fact that wider family can be uncomfortable with the sexualised body of young people in the family etc but this is NOT her problem. Nevertheless for comfort of others would she consider wearing a sarong when around them Don’t tell her what to do but just ask her. If she doesn’t want to do this don’t make a fuss and just let extended family deal with their own reactions Try to enjoy your holiday

I’ve tried to say it like that. She’s saying she shouldn’t be made to cover up because there’s going to be male relatives there and that it’s their problem not hers if they are uncomfortable