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Original poster

Daughter is wearing inappropriate bikini on family holiday.

131 replies

romma · 14/03/2025 23:55

We are going on holiday to Cyprus and daughter has bought a bunch of thong style bikinis, she’s a teenager but how do I talk to her about it. As there will be extended family

OP posts:
uggmum · 15/03/2025 02:00

i am at a resort in the Maldives right now and I am almost the only one not wearing a thong bikini. (My arse being too substantial)
my DD goes on holiday with us all the time and she only wears thong bikinis.
it doesn’t bother me at all

Devianinc · 15/03/2025 02:17

Sal17690 · 15/03/2025 01:49

So if her older relatives had amazing gym-fit bodies, it would be more acceptable for the 19 year old woman to wear a skimpy bikini?

Show quote history

But have you not been to the beach with old people flaunting their bodies, it’s quite a spectacle and I think they like you looking even though they don’t look great. What’s those tiny bathing suits men wear. I can’t remember what they call it. Banana hammock. I used to go to beach and this old lady used go there practically nude. It wasn’t artistic or anything like that but it was her thriving people really being
put off by it especially with the young kids. She would flounce and bop all over. It was obscene really.

JandamiHash · 15/03/2025 02:19

FGS OP she’s an adult it’s not your choice.

As for people advising you to throw them out - do you hate your children or something? Do you want them to be posting on MN in a few years about how controlling weird you are.

Let her flaunt her body while she’s young.

JandamiHash · 15/03/2025 02:20

POTC · 14/03/2025 23:57

If she's 19 it's her choice, you can't and shouldn't do anything. Are you going to walk around the pool or along the beach telling other people they're dressed inappropriately?

I wonder how OP copes with men being topless

JandamiHash · 15/03/2025 02:20

HomeworkMonitor · 14/03/2025 23:57

Suggest she holiday alone if she won't compromise and cancel her ticket

Your kids aren’t coming to you for Christmas when they’re adults. Telling you now so you can prepare.

InWalksBarberalla · 15/03/2025 02:24

Devianinc · 15/03/2025 02:17

But have you not been to the beach with old people flaunting their bodies, it’s quite a spectacle and I think they like you looking even though they don’t look great. What’s those tiny bathing suits men wear. I can’t remember what they call it. Banana hammock. I used to go to beach and this old lady used go there practically nude. It wasn’t artistic or anything like that but it was her thriving people really being
put off by it especially with the young kids. She would flounce and bop all over. It was obscene really.

Show quote history

It's not obscene. It's just people being comfortable with their bodies. It's sad that you think it's obscene.

JandamiHash · 15/03/2025 02:25

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

and?

CarmelaBrunella · 15/03/2025 08:40

Another teen daughter in a thong bikini thread. At least this one is 19, it's usually 14/15.
What are the usual replies? Get her to cover up, ot leave her alone. Although on one thread the mum actually bought her teen daughter more modest beach wear!

CarmelaBrunella · 15/03/2025 08:40

JandamiHash · 15/03/2025 02:19

FGS OP she’s an adult it’s not your choice.

As for people advising you to throw them out - do you hate your children or something? Do you want them to be posting on MN in a few years about how controlling weird you are.

Let her flaunt her body while she’s young.

Is it "flaunting her body"?

PointsSouth · 15/03/2025 08:45

HomeworkMonitor · 14/03/2025 23:57

Suggest she holiday alone if she won't compromise and cancel her ticket

….also go NC, cut her out of the will and curse her offspring unto the seventh generation.

I think we can all agree that’s proportionate to the issue.

cait967 · 15/03/2025 08:45

romma · 15/03/2025 00:11

I’ve tried to say it like that. She’s saying she shouldn’t be made to cover up because there’s going to be male relatives there and that it’s their problem not hers if they are uncomfortable

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She is absolutely right. If they don’t like it then they can look the other way.

CarmelaBrunella · 15/03/2025 08:46

Suggest that the whole family just go nude. Problem solved.

HomeBodyClub · 15/03/2025 08:46

It sounds like a you problem. She is 19!

Parents who throw their kids clothes away are abusive.

CarmelaBrunella · 15/03/2025 08:47

PointsSouth · 15/03/2025 08:45

….also go NC, cut her out of the will and curse her offspring unto the seventh generation.

I think we can all agree that’s proportionate to the issue.

Show quote history

Only if they shave her head and take her to the town square shouting "Jezebel!".

CheesePlantBoxes · 15/03/2025 08:47

romma · 15/03/2025 00:11

I’ve tried to say it like that. She’s saying she shouldn’t be made to cover up because there’s going to be male relatives there and that it’s their problem not hers if they are uncomfortable

Show quote history

I'm 100% behind her.

I hope my daughter knows I have her back.

If you are paying for the holiday and keep on at her, you are pushing the narrative that someone paying her way has a say over her bodily autonomy. Thats not the message I want my daughter to have as she approaches starting her own relationships.

Why can't the male relatives look away? I notice you haven't mentioned female relatives being uncomfortable. Is that because women aren't potential going to be eyeing up their own flesh and blood?

Why do you really think your daughter should cover up? Because you think her relatives will get turned on? That's fucking disgusting. It's not what you're saying but deep down it's your worry. Whynis your daughter required to adjust her behaviour to apologise for men.

TeaRoseTallulah · 15/03/2025 08:50

BoldRed · 15/03/2025 00:37

Oh god not the teenager in a thong bikini thread AGAIN. Always the same creepy posts. Ugh ugh ugh. Don’t feed it!

So familiar!

saraclara · 15/03/2025 08:51

Reported.

Summerbay23 · 15/03/2025 08:51

Honestly at 19 she can wear what she wants.

Also it’s a beach holiday so assume most people will be showing flesh to a greater or lesser degree (we’re talking a few extra inches of flesh). Unless the rest of you are planning on wearing clothes around the pool?

Im shocked you would try to dictate what an adult woman wears.

CarmelaBrunella · 15/03/2025 08:55

TeaRoseTallulah · 15/03/2025 08:50

So familiar!

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Yes, indeed - very familiar

MasterBeth · 15/03/2025 08:56

It is none of your business what your adult daughter chooses to wear.

It is none of Grandad or Uncle Mike's business what your adult daughter chooses to wear.

It's a beach holiday. She is not dressing inappropriately wearing beach wear on the beach or round the pool.

MagpiePi · 15/03/2025 08:57

It is interesting that the majority of opinions on this thread are ‘she should cover up to avoid offending others’ whereas in yet another recent thread about young women wearing skimpy clothing in the gym, the majority opinion was ‘skimpy gym clothes are not sexual and anyone who thinks otherwise is uptight or a perv’.

5128gap · 15/03/2025 08:57

romma · 14/03/2025 23:57

I have done so. But don’t want to make it seem like she should be ashamed

Ashamed of what exactly? Wearing appropriate clothing for the situation and company is a matter of etiquette and consideration. Covering up your arse in front of your grandad isn't being ashamed of it, it's knowing who really doesn't need or want to see it.

5128gap · 15/03/2025 09:00

MagpiePi · 15/03/2025 08:57

It is interesting that the majority of opinions on this thread are ‘she should cover up to avoid offending others’ whereas in yet another recent thread about young women wearing skimpy clothing in the gym, the majority opinion was ‘skimpy gym clothes are not sexual and anyone who thinks otherwise is uptight or a perv’.

Its about norms. The clothes discussed on the gym thread are normal in the environment. A lot of families wouldn't think thong bikinis were the norm in front of them. Its like the way a dress suitable for clubbing would be inappropriate in the office. It's not the garment, it's the situation.

ExIssues · 15/03/2025 09:02

POTC · 15/03/2025 00:21

And she's correct, it is entirely their problem not hers. If male relatives are uncomfortable around her because she's wearing a thong bikini then they are the concern, not her.

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What male is uncomfortable looking at a 19 year old in a thong? This is very naive!

ExIssues · 15/03/2025 09:05

MasterBeth · 15/03/2025 08:56

It is none of your business what your adult daughter chooses to wear.

It is none of Grandad or Uncle Mike's business what your adult daughter chooses to wear.

It's a beach holiday. She is not dressing inappropriately wearing beach wear on the beach or round the pool.

Grandad and uncle Mike are probably in favour of young women in revealing bikinis. I don't think they will be complaining. If women in the family complain it's because they know this.