To ask what is wrong with men?

[ForTealBee]

I just despair, I really do.

I was walking from the train station to my office this morning. I’m overweight, but I’ve lost a lot of weight and I’m not as massive as I was.

But as I’m walking I hear a man yelling at me, and I took my AirPods out. He’s hanging out of a taxi window yelling “look at the state of you!! Walking around like a fucking whale!!!” and making rude gestures at me, his mates are in the taxi laughing as well.

Im sure he was just drunk, but really? I’m 25 and he looked to be at least 40, what’s the need for it?!

I wrote on here on another thread about how my co worker (a gorgeous, slim just 18 year old) came to work the other day shaking because, as she'd been walking in, a car full of men completely unknown to her drove up alongside, wound down the window and yelled 'you fat slag, I'm gonna kill you.'
Fortunately she's an incredibly strong and 'together' young lady, so after she'd relaxed a bit she got angry, but I can see how someone a little bit more anxious might decide never to leave home again after something like that.

Morons. I want to say they all are, but I've got two sons who I devoutly hope would NEVER do anything like this.

Chimps is a very good analogy. It's like they simply don't have the mental capacity to understand or function in any kind of civilised human society, so (metaphorically) throwing their own poo is the only thing they have left at their disposal to express their great frustrations at living such a restricted, unintellectual life.

Of course it should upset you you’re human and it’s a horribly nasty thing for them to do.

I’m glad the taxi driver didn’t turf them out a pp said they should have done - you wouldn’t want them loitering near you.

My friends response used to be

”Oh my GOD! THANKYOU!! I didn’t know! That just amazing! So insightful of you! Such a mature comment!! You must be SO proud!”

Always made them look shamefaced.

I'm so sorry OP,

I thought I was past all of that (I'm 61) but I went for a run yesterday evening. Rural village, nice place, my regular run, normally no issues at all, but I got kerb crawled by some creep in a van making lewd comments about my bum.

WTF is wrong with them ? 😡

I’m torn between anger at their audacity and just a genuine sadness that I still stick out as being so fat. I thought I’d lost enough that I look different. It’s just awful

It's not about your weight. They'd have hurled some other abuse if you were thin, it's all about the anger with these foul specimens. Well done on your weight loss, just concentrate on how you're improving your health whilst they destroy theirs with alcohol, drugs and anger.

How fucking dare they!

The sort of men who size up women in the street as either meeting or not meeting their standards of fuckable/not fuckable (they see us as 'it'; women to men like this are not fully human) are the dregs.

The absolute confidence of mediocre men (as stated upthread), and the question of whether we'd rather eat our own feet with a spoon than even consider fucking them if given the opportunity, is staggering. As is the assumption that anyone cares about their ignorant, boorish opinions.

Toxic masculinity right there. They can keep it.

Honestly OP, it's definitely no reflection on you, it's the idiotic man and his friends who are at fault.

About 100 years ago when I was young and a bit of a head turner (enough to offered modelling work by a prestigious agency) I was minding my own business, walking the dog. Some imbecile shouts accross yhe road 'I like your dog, he's better looking than you are' to much male guffawing. I scurried off home hurt and angry at being shouted out so publicly.

They are misogynistic idiots, dressing up their need to dominate women with 'banter', purely for male entertainment.

I doesn't matter what we look/act like something would be picked up on and commented on.

See also 'give us a smile love, it might never happen' 🙄

As I said in my post above, my colleague was called 'fat' by the kerb crawling louse who pulled up beside her. She's eight stone wringing wet. They use 'fat' as an insult because they KNOW it will hurt. They know women are almost all insecure about their weight, so they call them 'fat' because even the slenderest sylph will start to think 'maybe I DO have a touch of cellulite and perhaps I am getting a bit wobbly in the bum...'

They call women fat because they know it hurts, and that's what they want to do. They want you to THINK you are fat, because that way they can know that they've got into your psyche. A brain dead tosser throwing out the world's most obvious insult does not mean that you are fat. It means that they can't even come up with an original line.

If it's any consolation, men like that are still calling one another 'gay' as an insult.

Mental illness is far more prevalent than we even realise. If we were mentally well we wouldn’t attack anyone, ever.

There is absolutely no need whatsoever and he's clearly a piece of shit. Women get this frequently, in fact my male partner has had it himself while just walking down the street so it's not just a 'woman' thing. I'm sorry you had to go through this, it's unfair and not a reflection of who you are, what you look like either, some people just have a need to put others down for laughs.

Men like this seize on calling women fat by default - even clearly very thin women - as they know it can be very upsetting to many women; and they don't have the intellect or social acuity to stop and think of any valid criticisms - or indeed how urgent it actually is for them to criticise a random stranger who isn't impacting on their lives in any way at all.

Even if you were the fattest person ever, you still would be worth a million of the idiots who have no way of communicating other than by shouting pointless, stupid and often completely untrue insults at strangers. Imagine what it must be like to have to go through your whole life with such a thick, deficient, nasty brain in your head.

Yes, you can always spot a misogynist when they resort to the most obvious of sexist abuse like this.

The other is when they accuse women of smelling of fish (which if we wash daily and don't have BV, we don't).

Their insults are entirely predicable. Only the lowest male life-forms do this. In the words of Germaine Greer, 'women will never understand how much men hate them'.

I had an ex who would get SO angry when he'd see a woman doing something that he didn't think was attractive.

I remember once when we were driving and he went apeshit when he saw an overweight woman wearing a dress walking on the pavement.

I just couldn't understand it at all. I just kept asking but why do you care though?

Mediocre?
More like abusive and nasty.

Sorry OP that you experienced that.

I once got called fat at a university ball. I was 8 and a half stone. People will always find mean things to say if they want to.

It's entirely a reflection on them, not you.

It's a well-touted phrase.

i honestly don’t think it’s any reflection on you

They don’t have the brains to come up with anything else, they choose fat as they know it can be upsetting

My daughter turned down a bloke in a pub a few weeks ago, very politely at first then less politely when he persisted. His response? “Like I’d fuck you anyway you fat cunt”. She’s a size 6-8. She laughed at him which made him even angrier.

What complete donkeys. Not unreasonable to be upset by that, sorry it happened.

Well, because you were verbally abused, in public, and at a time when you minding your own business, least expecting it.

Would you question why you were upset if he'd jumped out of the taxi and slapped you?

Who was it?

This doesn't surprise me at all.

How awful.

Yes, I'd like to know who it was too.

It very much sounds like he currently has a great reputation that he absolutely does not deserve.

A male I politely said no thank you to in a pub called me a 'frigid fat bitch.' I was about 25 and just over 8 stone. I was also so far out of his league we were barely the same species.
They think that the biggest insult is to imply that you are undesirable, to them. 'Fat' is meaningless in itself.
This kind of male hasn't learnt to deal with feelings of inferiority, so throws them with venom at those who are 'to blame' for them.

It's not your weight, size or appearance at all, OP. Don't be upset. He's just a drunk
/coked up dickhead and would have unleashed his verbal diarrhoea on anyone who happened to walk past. Unfortunately, it was you.

I had this multiple times in various forms. Chatting me up, kerb crawling, shouting out of car windows. I was slim, pretty and a model at the time. It always started nice (in their own apish way), but once I rejected them - ended with abuse. You're an ugly skank, hideous bitch, I wouldn't touch you with a barge pole, etc

The most disgusting incident happened when I was slightly older and walking with my small daughter (I think about 5-6 at the time). A bunch of fuckers kerb crawled me, shouting at me through the window. I guess they thought themselves complimentary, listing what arse I had on me, legs, how they'd like to stick it to me, etc. I wouldn't have cared much normally, but ffs, even the biggest apes I've ever met before, toned down their bullshit when I was with my daughter.

@ForTealBee I’m so sorry. That is so unnecessary and heartbreaking. Sadly I don’t think it’s just men. Last year I was out with friends at a bottomless brunch and a group of younger women (younger than me I mean and I would say mid 20s) were openly criticising another woman and saying very nasty things. Not sure she heard them or not but regardless. I hated it