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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

I want the house only in my name?

136 replies

Flower0782 · 13/03/2025 21:54

Will try and keep this short. Before my husband and I got married we discussed what would potentially happen with my father’s house in the future. As I am an only child it’s likely that my dad’s house would be left to me. My husband who at the time was my partner said that he wouldn’t expect his name to go on anything and if he would be happy to sign a prenup if that’s what I wanted. Fast forward 15 years, we have been married for nearly 5 years (no prenup). The subject came up again recently. I basically said to him if I were to sell my dad’s house and buy one for us to live in, the house would only be in my name as we do not know what the future holds. He could obviously treat it as his home also, and I would not constantly be reminding him that it’s “my house”. He has said seen as we are married the house should be in both our names and if I’m not willing to put his name on it then he is not interested in moving into it. None of this has actually happened yet, but it has got me worried for what is going to happen in the future. I’m really here to ask AIBU for only wanting to put my name and not my husbands on a house that would be bought with my inheritance?

OP posts:
RandomWordsThrownTogether · 14/03/2025 12:14

If he lives in it it would be commingling the assets and he would have rights to it. If I was you I would look into buying a place separate to this in the near future, could you get a shared ownership place or something to get you on the housing ladder and stop renting? I say this as we do not know what the future will bring, your dad may sell his house for care. Both my dad and my partner’s have also had partners much younger than them so you really can’t be sure things will stay the same. If you do eventually inherit you could either sell and invest in shares to help pay your share of the mortgage or rent your dad’s house and use the rent money to pay towards your mortgage.

I do not see an issue in protecting your inheritance. If my partner ends up doing that (parents 10 years older than mine) I would be a little miffed but I would just do the same when the time comes. I don’t understand why people think your partner is automatically entitled to half, I do not see myself as entitled to anything my partner may inherit and I don’t think he would feel entitled to anything I do.

Mrsbloggz · 14/03/2025 12:23

In my experience the mindset of many men is as follows:
woman = property of her male partner therefore anything the woman owns is automatically the property of the male partner.

HuskyNew · 14/03/2025 12:28

Flower0782 · 13/03/2025 22:04

I think it might be worth mentioning that we are in rented property at the moment, and about 2 months ago I was looking at renting elsewhere for just myself and the children. It’s a whole other story, but it was mainly down to not being able to get another job because of his inability to be flexible when it comes to his working hours and hobbies, expecting me to do everything round the house apart from maybe throwing a wash in the dryer now and then, and the way he has been speaking to me recently. I guess I’m not as secure in the relationship as what I used to be.

Sounds like you need to divorce before your dad dies.

RhaenysRocks · 14/03/2025 12:43

RandomWordsThrownTogether · 14/03/2025 12:14

If he lives in it it would be commingling the assets and he would have rights to it. If I was you I would look into buying a place separate to this in the near future, could you get a shared ownership place or something to get you on the housing ladder and stop renting? I say this as we do not know what the future will bring, your dad may sell his house for care. Both my dad and my partner’s have also had partners much younger than them so you really can’t be sure things will stay the same. If you do eventually inherit you could either sell and invest in shares to help pay your share of the mortgage or rent your dad’s house and use the rent money to pay towards your mortgage.

I do not see an issue in protecting your inheritance. If my partner ends up doing that (parents 10 years older than mine) I would be a little miffed but I would just do the same when the time comes. I don’t understand why people think your partner is automatically entitled to half, I do not see myself as entitled to anything my partner may inherit and I don’t think he would feel entitled to anything I do.

Because he is her husband not her partner and they have shared children. He's not a Johnny come lately new chap.

GabriellaMontez · 14/03/2025 12:49

Your op is about a hypothetical situation. It may never arise.

The real problem is how you describe your relationship in subsequent posts. It sounds dire. Why don't you do a new post about your situation now? Start by dealing with that.

mewkins · 14/03/2025 12:55

SleepDeprivedButAlive · 13/03/2025 22:05

Then get a divorce. Before your dad dies.

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Yes this!!

Wackadaywideawake · 14/03/2025 13:16

If my husband had done this to me I would have left him.

AnAlpacaForChristmasPleaseSanta · 14/03/2025 13:31

MolkosTeenageAngst · 13/03/2025 22:00

Why did you get married if you don’t want to legally be a couple with joint assets?

Edited

Yep, this. I cant think how many times I've read posters being advised to ensure that they get married so that will be entitled to half the house.

Mrsbloggz · 14/03/2025 13:33

AnAlpacaForChristmasPleaseSanta · 14/03/2025 13:31

Yep, this. I cant think how many times I've read posters being advised to ensure that they get married so that will be entitled to half the house.

Show quote history

Generally because they are the ones making all the sacrifices in the relationship, bearing the children doing all domestic work etc.

Blondeshavemorefun · 14/03/2025 14:32

Hibernatingtilspring · 13/03/2025 22:05

Fwiw you see people advising other women on here all the time to run a mile if a partner is suggesting living together without being named on the deeds, and to seek legal advice if not named but married. It's usually discussed as the man being financially abusive. So I don't think people are likely to support you in this when the gender roles are flipped.

This

surely house /assets would go to your kids - maybe have that written in a will /co habitation agreement

your dad is still alive 15yrs later thankfully

AnAlpacaForChristmasPleaseSanta · 14/03/2025 15:23

Mrsbloggz · 14/03/2025 13:33

Generally because they are the ones making all the sacrifices in the relationship, bearing the children doing all domestic work etc.

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I'm not disputing the motivations but marriage = possible divorce= splitting assets. It shouldn't come as surprise to anyone particularly not on here.

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