To think the past is being misrepresented on here?

[ChilliLips]

Not all the time obviously but didn’t want a waffly title.

I feel like lately I’m seeing a lot of posts describing a past I don’t recognise. Apparently schools used to be relaxed, have no rules, fewer demands. Whereas I’m sure I remember uniform inspections, SATS, end of year tests, mocks, weekly spelling tests at primary, Saturday detentions, and don’t forget the worst punishment of all - the CHAIR!

I have also seen a few posts saying conditions now are much worse resulting in poorer mental/physical health, hence a spike in disability. But again - can this be true? The world wars wounded, no antenatal tests, jobs like coal mining, loads of smoking/drinking, polio and measles… I’m sure there were a lot of people disabled with conditions they wouldn’t have now.

And finally that everyone was wealthy and lived in massive houses. Nobody I know who grew up in the 50s/60s have tales of luxury, I’ve heard all sorts of horrors including ice on the inside of windows, smog in the air, kids sleeping 4 to a room.

Particularly interested in answers from those alive then! I’m mid 30s.

I defiantly think life is somewhat better now - in a sense that there is more tech and innovation and the amount of choice and access one has.

BUT I think life was probably simpler. I think people were more resilient and I think the attitude was more about doing the best with what you have - but if you were the ambitious type, you worked hard and smart and made your way up - but I think your life was what you had - whereas now we have access to glimpses of other people lives we can make daily comparisons as to why our lives are worse and well with that mindset, anything but the current day seems better.

Im mid 30s, and when I speak to my parents generation they say that the past was better because it was less stressful - perhaps there were more diseases that were harder to cure, and my family lived in council flats, but they always say “life used to be so simple”

edited to add that it shows you how powerful the mind can be - even if life is better - with stress and mental health, it doesn’t feel it.

• *@AngelinaFibres When my youngest brother was born ,in a hospital in North Wales in 68, the woman in the next bed was having her 12th child . The hospital offered to tie her tubes. She needed her husband's permission to do this and , as he refused, it wasn't possible . Hideous.

Yep. Like most things we take for granted, womens equality was hard fought for, I loved my dad but he was a terrible chauvinist and he squashed me and my mum with his expectations. I envied my brothers their freedom, their opportunities and hells bells even their toys.They had lego and mechano, I was given a doll whose selling point was that it wet itself like a real baby after you 'fed' it. (working on the premise that if you keep womens' expectations low they won't realise they should be disappointed😂).

@AngelinaFibres I gave you a laughing emoji because if you couldn't laugh you'd cry!

Yes indeed. If my mother needed to go into our local hardware store, and a man came in behind her, the shopkeeper would stop serving her and serve the man. He was working, she wasn't, so he went first even if she was already being served.

@quantumbutterfly

Yep. Like most things we take for granted, womens equality was hard fought for, I loved my dad but he was a terrible chauvinist and he squashed me and my mum with his expectations. I envied my brothers their freedom, their opportunities and hells bells even their toys.They had lego and mechano, I was given a doll whose selling point was that it wet itself like a real baby after you 'fed' it. (working on the premise that if you keep womens' expectations low they won't realise they should be disappointed😂).

This with bells on.

Let's please keep in mind when we wring our hands about not having enough time off with our kids that at least we are able to work these days and lift ourselves out of the horrendous claustrophobia of female expectations 50 years ago.

I think some of the music in the 80 s was great but I also remember Stock ,Aitken ,and Waterman,churned out a lot of crap.

If you were determined you could do it back in the day too. My great grandmother was abandoned by her husband with a large family and supported them through working.

It's great you made the choice that is right for you and that you could make that choice. If you'd wanted to be able to stay home for a year or two, which is a pretty minor time out of the workforce, it would have been sad if you hadn't been able to choose that.

@farmlife2

It's great you made the choice that is right for you and that you could make that choice. If you'd wanted to be able to stay home for a year or two, which is a pretty minor time out of the workforce, it would have been sad if you hadn't been able to choose that.

I mean I got 10 months mat leave. I'd love to have had more years at home but the reality is that if I'd done that my career would have been derailed and that would have been a disaster so I'm very glad that didn't happen.

Again it depends on what people mean by "sad": I hear all the time on here how "sad" it is that people don't get to stay at home for longer with their children. Yes it's "sad" with a small S if you don't get as much leave with your small children as you'd want. But it's sad with a big S if you end up trapped in an abusive or bad or just boring and unfulfilling marriage because you don't have the means to leave.

Which sad is worse? I'd rather the first than the second and if they are honest I think a lot of people will admit that a few more months of going to the park and doing baby yoga are probably in the scheme of things not worth throwing away your financial independence for.

I just wish people would keep this in perspective a bit.

The trouble is, at 59, we're now expected to work until we're 67 so being able to help is not always possible. Back in the day, when a woman retired at 60 there was more opportunity to help out.

SATS came in when I was in year 9. We refused to do them. Before that it was far more informal. Possibly that meant people fell through the gaps, but it also meant less stress. The idea of a primary school kid committing suicide because of SATS stress would have been unthinkable.

There was more understanding of kids having differing needs. More playtime. Less loud chaos in classrooms. More discipline/punishment. We had one (ONE!) "naughty boy" in our class all the way through (almost certainly ADHD) but he was the only one, abc it was fine for a teacher to send him to run and scream in the playground for a few minutes to get it out of his system before he came back in. Tons of us were undiagnosed ASD, but classrooms were quieter and more regulated. But there was no understanding of allergies or mental health issues, and with no recourse to complaint if you had a bad teacher, and there were a few.

I disagree.

I think the problem with cultural things like music, films and TV is that we tend to favour the stuff that was popular when we were young. Inevitably these things change over time and we harp back to the 'golden' era when we were young. To be honest, that's probably true with most things in life. There is a naivety and excitement associated with being a young person that inevitably gets crushed under the weight of age, experience and responsibility. We tend to think that things have changed more than they have, instead of realising we were experiencing similar issues differently in the past because of our age.

I went to school in the 90s. I don’t remember ever having homework until I went to secondary school. The only tests I can remember doing were SATs. We respected the teachers and the parents respected them too. Punishment would be missing play time and detentions at secondary school. We were very well off and had lots of holidays abroad but this wasn’t the norm amongst my friends. Eating out would be a once a week occasion at the very most. We would never get takeaway coffees or have lunches out like I do now. I only got presents at birthdays and Xmas and then for Easter I’d get something like a now 89 album as a treat. I used to go to lots of after school clubs but these were low key and usually in a village hall- brownies, dancing, first aid club. Days out would be a big thing and something we’d do as a treat during the holidays or for a birthday. I would say I was very privileged and spoilt being honest because I had everything I wanted but the world didn’t revolve around me and my parents didn’t give in to my every whim and I think the balance was much better then today. I was happy and content.

Child of the 70's/80's. I don't remember any pressure at school until after the mocks in year 11.
Childhood was fairly free range, we played out a lot, made our own entertainment. Walked to school alone in junior school, sometimes used to get a lift from a chain smoking teacher if he saw me as he was passing. The biggest difference was the amount of traffic, my old junior school has turned one of the playgrounds into a staff car park, which is probably safer than the old metal climbing frame plonked on top of concrete, which was responsible for quite a few split skulls during my time there.
My parents bought their first house when I was about 8, I remember them being worried about money a lot when the interest rates went sky high, we had a lodger for a while.
Holidays were camping or visiting better off relatives.
TV and later VHS was through Radio rentals.
Some people had more stuff , but that's always been the case hasn't it ?

This is thread about a thread

No, it references some responses but is a completely different topic altogether. Nobody is discussing a thread.

I don't think it's that simple.

It's not great that people can't afford stability in their lives. That they can't get an education that leads to a stable job.

But to some extent we've traded that for consumer goods that don't really add a lot in terms of happiness or value, a lot is junk that gives a little dopamine hit. And I would also say that there are luxuries it's unreasonable to expect that we should all have at all times - holidays abroad yearly, exotic foods, endless choice at the supermarket, eating out weekly - these things all have a cost in terms of where our productivity is focused. Many of them, if we hadn't been sold the idea we need them , would not be missed.

Lots of kids in university now, but receiving an inferior education, and wasting years of productive work to go into sectors that don't really need that kind of education but which require it anyway. It shouldn't be a shock that education under these circumstances is no longer affordable - we never could really afford to take 50% of adults out of work for 4 years. Apprenticeship arrangements, not just for trades but for things like law, social work, etc, existed in the past because they are efficient and effective. Nursing and teaching collages the same.

Also notable is how much all of this is environmentally unsustainable.

Secondary is definitely more Draconian now than it was when I was at school (in the 60a/70s) and much, much stricter than it was when my children were at school in the 90s/2000s.
My school wasn't perfect there were many things I didn't like about it . But it wasn't as strict as many schools.now. We had uniform but no uniform checks ,no one was ever put in isolation for hours at a time. And no one would be put in detention if their shirt was hanging out of their trousers or sent home or put in isolation if they had the wrong shoes. We were also allowed to go to the toilet when we needed to.
There was no uniform at my children's school and they was mutual respect between the teachers and the students. There was no isolation booths either. And students didn't wet themselves because they were not allowed to go to the toilet. It was and still is a high performing state school.
I do think the system in many MATs has contributed to the mental health crisis.

no it’s not a completely different topic - don’t be disingenuous.

Rigidity in schools has come a full circle. In the 60s my school was very strict. Strict uniform rules, detentions and hit with rulers. Maths teacher knocked one boy across the room and none of us dared react. In the 80s and 90s it seemed more relaxed but standards weren’t great. Now it’s draconian again but more scary than in the 60s because the type of bullying is different.

Loved reading this thread. Very nostalgic.
I was born in 1953 and can remember waking up to ice on the inside of the windows. Mum would get up early and have the coal fire burning with my clothes warming ready to set off for the mile or so walk to school. Mum took me at first but then would walk with a friend. Most free time was spent over the park on our bikes or roller skating. Happy happy times. School was strict and at times hard. I remember being shaken and slapped for getting a knot in my cotton in sewing lessons.
Bought our first house in 1977. Cost us £13,000. Keep in mind my take home pay for a month was less than £100.
My 4 children were born in the 80’s and in some ways think they had the best of both worlds. Still able to play out and have lots of freedom but no worries of social media and mobile phones. All of them have managed to get on the property ladder and have children of their own. I worry for my grandkids though.

I am mid-30's. Was in primary in the 90s, and joined secondary school in 2000.

At primary we had weekly spelling tests and times table tests. I also remember end of KS1 tests and Yr6 SATS. Behaviour of kids was generally good, though there were a couple of known trouble-makers but overall it was plain sailing. School didn't have a separate isolation area or designated space for SEN. We had a TA in one or two classes, but they were there to help provide sign language assistance to a deaf child. Class size was usually 29-32. Uniform was really relaxed at primary.

In secondary (a big comp) the uniform rules were really strict. Couldn't take jumper off (even on very hot day) between lessons, and in lessons had to ask to take it off. Coats couldn't be worn inside school. No trainers etc. Expected to bring all own equipment, though school generally ok to provide if you forgot as a one-off but if you forgot to bring the right textbook for the class you could get lunchtime detention. Had to address all staff as Sir or Miss at all times. The school built the 'Nest' by the time I was leaving sixth form (so, about 2007/8) which was where kids who had anger issues or needed extra help with learning could go during the day which was staffed by a few TAs.

We were okay-off in terms of wealth. Generally pretty working class area, but our family had a car and we went abroad on holiday each year. Both parents in work FT from when I was in Yr6 (mum PT before that), so I would come home and let myself in from Yr6. Walked to school alone/with neighbour friends from about Yr 3. Played out on the local green, street and down the part every evening with neighbour kids. We ate out only for special occasions (and even then, very rarely) but mum and dad did spend a lot of time with family friends at the pub and the kids would play in the pub garden together and share bowls of chips.

Thank you for this. I’m 62 and get so fed up of our generation being so bloody lucky all the time!

I was born during the martial law in one of the post-Soviet countries.
We lived in a small town just like all our relatives. We lived in a large semi with coal central heating system in the basement that had to be burned every day. I walked to school alone since I was 7 years old. We always met our friends on the way and walked together through the fields and 2 ponds with swans and ducks (and some drunkards in the bushes). Both my parents worked full-time. My dad did shifts. He collected me from school and went to work, leaving me alone at home till mom came home or I just walked home alone or went to my grandmother's. Food was not widely available in the shops - we ate what we grew in our garden and the meat we got from our grandmother who kept pigs, chickens and ducks. Lunch was soup with potatoes cooked on a bone. Dinner were sandwiches. We didn't have school lunches, only a packed sandwich, and school times varied, usually 4-5 hours daily (in the primary). Generally, kids were very independent and had more freedom. During the winter, that lasted 5-6 months, with a lot of snow, me and my sis took our skis and sledges and informed our parents we were going out in the morning and we came back at 3pm for late lunch, all wet and cold but very happy. Our TV was black-and-white and there was nothing to watch except of a daily 15-min bed time cartoon. We ate our meals while listening to the radio. The staple diet was potatoes-flour-quark based, think dumplings, etc. We had a close-knit family and rich family life with frequent family parties - where we could drink a soft drink and eat a little chocolate. We didn't have any after-school clubs or anything like that. Parents worked hard at their job, and after that - at home in the garden as we relied on the garden for our veggies and fruit. In the summer everybody would make preserves that we would eat during winter. Basically, there was no consumerism. The clothes - mom would buy a cloth in a shop and we would go to a tailor to make us dresses. Shoes were bought once a year. We had 1 car and went on holidays to seaside every summer. Nobody went abroad. Adults didn't have 'free time' to do hobbies or time to waste. Men drank a lot. In summer on the weekends we went to a forest to gather fruit and mushrooms which we ate that evening or made preserves with. Sunday was church.
In comparison - financially our lives are more or less the same now, though my childhood house was bigger than my current house in the UK. Also, my parents built it when they were 25 (married at 21). All my cousins in my home country have better houses than us here. But we go on many holidays abroad every year, they do maybe 1 in 3 years. Our children have definitely more opportunities to develop their talents than when I was a child. But they don't have this close-knit family life than I had. All in all, I'm not sure which life was better.

I was born in 1966. I went to three primaries and they were all different.

The first school I went to was an RC primary, mum took me day one but day two she walked me as far as the bus that I got on alone and we all sat 3 to a seat, no seat belts. School was 9.00am - 4.00pm.

Then we moved and I went to a 'first school'. We lived in a new build and the old footpath that went through the estate had been tarmacked so you could walk directly to school.

This was the 1970s and the school had to rapidly expand so we had a lot of new teachers and a couple of 'temporary' classrooms.

As it was the 1970s there and we had new teachers we had some 'new' teaching methods eg we learned about bases. We often did 'topic' so you would have a subject eg 'the sea' so in maths would look at the depth of the sea and how it was measured (so a bit of maths) and looked at different fish / sea lime and drew them (so a bit of art) we might have a look at a trawler and how it worked (science / engineering).

We seemed to do a lot of collages.

We only wrote with a pencil, in your last year you were told to get a fountain pen for Christmas and then they would teach you to write in ink.

I think only 1 of the mums on the estate worked, in the summer all the kids would be outside and we would be told who was having a 'coffee morning' as that is where all the mums would be. Coffee morning seemed to be a big thing.

We moved again before I got a pen, and the new school was a bit of a shock to the system I was supposed to know multiplication tables, everyone wrote in biro, and as we had moved from West Yorkshire where there was a ban corporal punishment frequent 'rulerings' both received and seen other people receive was a shock.

My dad's job was selling central heating so we always had central heating and my dad always had a car.

At house number one we were the first house to get a colour TV (my dad worked evenings so my mum only had the dog for company) this would have been early 1970s.

All the kids in the street came round to watch the TV being 'set up', yes the shop would send an 'engineer' out to set up the TV and tune it in. My parents decided to rent the TV because it was new and there might be problems with it.

Anyway this was a Saturday morning and all the TV was still in Black and white, the 'set up man' had to wait for a cartoon to check the colour settings.

I did O Levels at school, apart from RE (RC school) maths and English you had a free choice of subjects. Well sort of, it was a girls' school so some subjects just were not taught.

Only 50% of students did O Levels, the next 20% did CSEs and the rest left with no qualifications.

The revision was up to us and if you failed, well it certainly wasn't the teacher's fault.

Born early 1950s so post war austerity. We lived with granny in a rented tiny terrace with no bathroom, no running hot water or indoor toilet. Charlie pots under the beds for night time wees. We had a tin bath hanging on the wall outside, which was brought in once a week and filled with water heated by a gas copper in the scullery. We all used the same water! The copper was switched on again on Monday for the laundry, which was then put through a mangle outside. No fridge, no hoover (no carpets - just rugs on lino), no car, no phone, no TV. Coal fire in the kitchen, where we lived. No heating anywhere else. The front room was only for Christmas or funerals. Hardly any toys or books, clothes were mainly hand-me-downs. Food was basic but I don't recall ever being hungry. The rag & bone man came round in a horse-drawn cart but the coal man had a lorry. I learnt to write at school with chalk on a slate (people don't believe me but it's true!). In 1960 we moved to a council flat, which was freezing cold but at least the loo was inside! Nobody we knew had money for holidays or eating out but train fares were cheap and we were only half an hour from the sea so we had day trips on steam trains in the summer (taking flasks & sandwiches). The good things we had were the NHS and (for me) the 11 plus which enabled me to have a Grammar School education leading to a professional job. My own children and grandchildren had/have a very different childhood to mine.