To think the past is being misrepresented on here?

[ChilliLips]

Not all the time obviously but didn’t want a waffly title.

I feel like lately I’m seeing a lot of posts describing a past I don’t recognise. Apparently schools used to be relaxed, have no rules, fewer demands. Whereas I’m sure I remember uniform inspections, SATS, end of year tests, mocks, weekly spelling tests at primary, Saturday detentions, and don’t forget the worst punishment of all - the CHAIR!

I have also seen a few posts saying conditions now are much worse resulting in poorer mental/physical health, hence a spike in disability. But again - can this be true? The world wars wounded, no antenatal tests, jobs like coal mining, loads of smoking/drinking, polio and measles… I’m sure there were a lot of people disabled with conditions they wouldn’t have now.

And finally that everyone was wealthy and lived in massive houses. Nobody I know who grew up in the 50s/60s have tales of luxury, I’ve heard all sorts of horrors including ice on the inside of windows, smog in the air, kids sleeping 4 to a room.

Particularly interested in answers from those alive then! I’m mid 30s.

I was born in 69.
I only knew 2 people who didn't live in council houses.
None of my friends families had a car. Very few of my relatives had a car (we did).
Everyone walked to school ( 2 mile for me).
We had a coke fire,and shared bath water on a Sunday.
Clothes were passed down and mended. We had segs in our shoes to make them last longer.
We had holidays in Scotland, but my friends didn't have holidays.
Punishments in junior school included the cane, the slipper, and the ruler - but we did have books! You had your own copy of whatever novel, play or poetry you were studying. My own DS never sees a book from school!

My school (80's) turned a blind eye to loads of things (uniform, smoking, truancy, bullying), but also had definite firm boundaries (fights, setting off fire alarm).
I get the current theory of setting yourself up as the authority figure by being strict on trivial things that noone is going to bother getting heated about, so when something significant comes up, you're already the authority figure. But it just seems very ineffective!

Agree @FiveBarGate My Mum worked as did all my aunts. I think of her non working days doing washing in the twin tub, doing the ironing, keeping the home and cooking all meals from scratch each day. They were traditional in their roles but my Dad was a wonderful gardener, did the decorating and could do lots of DIY. Church was a big thing for them and we were part of a great community. I really admire my parents for all they did to make life comfortable and happy for their family.

I managed to buy my first home aged 27 around 1990.. A small flat which took all my savings and my ex had to be a guarantor even though I was working full time. I had a few sticks of second furniture and cardboard boxes with scarves on served as side tables for a good while, I made the curtains. No Central heating and, yes, there was ice inside in the winter. I had a 2 year old and many clothes came from jumble sales and charity shops. Nursery cost a fortune and the mortgage rate was high. After two years my flat was in negative equity and lost a third of its value. Entertainment had to be cheap and takeaways or eating out were not a thing, A trip to the zoo was the big ticket event in the summer holidays and picnics, local parks and beach and playdates were the rest of the holidays. Expectations were definitely lower than now.

It's easy to get a detention for silly things but very hard to exclude for truly disruptive behaviour. Kids probably just get used to loads of detentions and they don't act as a deterrent. The only people worrying about them are the well-behaved kids.

I was born in the 50s

Luckily for me we were relatively well off, so yes I had ice inside the windows upstairs but we had a coal fired boiler and some radiators
We also had a car and went abroad for holidays from when I was quite young

I think we had a better education back then. Better behaviour (on the whole)

Children were children for longer

We definitely had the best music (60's/70s/80s) 😁

Better maternal care. Calm, quiet hospitals.

More disposable income.

Easier to work your way up in your job (that you didn't need a degree for)

Less worry about drugs, though they were around

Easier to buy a house

Shops! Busyness, people, life! I hate the working from home isolation. I hate dead town centres

Quieter roads

Less debt (people may have had HP but no credit cards0

Obviously some things have improved. Health (medicinal not care), clean air (I remember smogs) no smoking, technology. Care and education for SEN children.
Ban on drink/driving. Higher standard of living?

There's obviously more

But on the whole I'm glad I was born then and not now

I was born in 1968. And this was not representative of my childhood experience. I don't think you can make sweeping statements that this was because of the times. Most people I knew had central heating, cars. I had a shower every morning. Many people went on foreign holidays, only 2 friends of mine lived in council houses etc etc.

Oh and we didn't have the slipper or cane or anything in school. Children were quite often smacked as punishment by their parents though.

I was at school mid 60s to late 70s. Buying a house was much easier back then, but I'd say that was about it.

Children were much less supervised, very few organised post-school activities and parents were generally much less involved in their children's lives.

We had no central heating in our accommodation (only the very wealthy did), just a calor gas heater in the living room. My bedroom was freezing cold in the winter, there was often thick ice on the inside of the windows. My parents ran the village pub, including through the power cuts of the 70s. We'd look in the local paper to see when our power was going to be off. Villagers would come to the pub during the cuts, we had oil radiators in the bar and used camping lights and candles. When it became hard to get candles, we used tubs of margarine and string wicks instead.

My friend over the road lived in council housing. This was a nice village outside what was, and is, considered a very wealthy city. Despite that, the council houses had no bathrooms. The loo was outside, it was a wooden bench with a hole, and a bucket. There was no bath and no shower. There was an open fire in one room and that was it.

We were all expected to get Saturday jobs from 14 onwards.

I certainly don't recognise the easy going schooling described above. We had to catch 2 buses to secondary school, if the bus was late, we'd be in trouble for being late, and have to go to the headmistress. Uniform was really strict, down to regulation knickers. We were expected to stand when our teacher walked in, and you just wouldn't dare cheek the teacher. If we yawned in PE we were sent out to run round the fields. This would be in a leotard or sports kit. If you'd forgotten your leotard, you would have to wear your aertex polo shirt and your pants, nothing else. You'd still have to run round the fields if you yawned - in your pants as a teenage girl, around the fields which had a main road around their perimeter. No-one complained.

At primary school, you'd be sent to stand in the corner if naughty, rapped on the knuckles with a wooden ruler, and the boys were hit with the headmaster's gym shoe (the white tornado it was nicknamed).

There are some things I would say are harder now
Home buying. The cost of essentials, petrol, car, mortgage, rent etc

Not cars! They were relatively very expensive. Only very middle class families had a car, and usually small ones. Very few families had 2 cars. No ordinary families driving big 4x4s or people carriers.

I am in my 60s, my Dad was a professional man. We weren’t poor. We had ice on the inside of the window panes: normal in winter. We never went on a holiday abroad, neither did my friends. Except camping to ‘Canvas Holidays’ in Brittany once.

Food was basic, nothing like the stuff I see in non extravagant shopping trolleys now, but cooked from scratch and nutritious. My Mum would have had a fit about spending money on any pre made bottled drinks like Fruit Shoots or Ribena. Ditto cakes, packaged sandwiches. So much stuff that money is spent on now.

Children were hit at home and at school. You were expected put up with stuff. H&S was rudimentary, no helmets for bikes and scooters - and we all walked or biked to school. Our coats weren’t waterproof. Loads of people had Lino and a rug, not carpet.

We had a coal fire in the front room as the only heating. Not a trendy log burner: it was really hard work for Mum every morning clearing the grate , shovelling Coke into the hod (several times a day) from the shed, chopping kindling in the back yard with a hatchet, dealing with the dust in the room.

Behaviour of kids and teens was on the whole MUCH better.

My experience is similar to Flamingoknees. I recall that one of our neighbours had a shower installed - she and her late husband had owned a business before retiring.

While I was small enough, I was bathed in our Belfast sink. Thereafter, it was a strip wash at the sink and a weekly bath in front of the fire.

My dad had his daily shower at the pithead. Once we moved from the '60s into the '70s, more people lived in homes with central heating, but even then it wasn't on all the time.

I went to primary school in the 80s. We had a times tables test (20 questions) and a spellings test (12 words) every Friday.
Twice a year (January and June) we had 3 days of exams with results and form positions which would have been read out in the form and in reports home.
Actually I think that was less pressure because you had another chance next time rather than it being a one off.

Schools were under less pressure to do all the different subjects and the teachers tended to teach, other than English and maths, what they liked. So one year we did lots of history, another lots of drama etc.
It was good in our primary where the teachers made quite an effort, but one down the road tended to only do "craft" which a lot found boring.

I think it was better with a good school but potentially much worse for a bad school.

I was wealthier than most people in my town. We went on the ferry to France and often went out for dinner, unheard of for most of my school mates. However we had one old car and one bathroom and shower between 5. We were never allowed long phone calls, we didn't have any extra TV channels or a video player, we rented one at Christmas and for birthdays. We bought some clothes but many were hand me downs. That was considered well off and privileged relatively.

I think MNs average age skews a lot older than the media image suggests so posters who are 60 & 70 are giving their experiences which is very different to posters who are much younger.

Only very middle class families had a car, and usually small ones. Very few families had 2 cars. No ordinary families driving big 4x4s or people carriers.

Households tend to have more than 1 car now because both parents work, people
love further from their jobs & dc who may use a car are living at home longer. Cars are also bigger because of car seats.

The average person has more though. Housing is less affordable, sure, but people have far more now in terms of consumer goods, eating out, holidays...

I'm in my 50s and as a child most of my friends lived in small 3 bed semis. People didn't eat out much - going out for Sunday lunch somewhere would be a special occasion not a regular event, and evening meals likewise. Holidays abroad are relatively cheaper now, and back then I went abroad only a couple of times with family (in a car, not flying, and staying with friends of friends); most of my friends never went abroad at all, or maybe once on a school trip, and some hardly went on holiday at all. People kept their furniture till it fell apart instead of changing it to suit fashions. Mobile phones obviously hadn't been invented, so no need to spend your money on one. TVs and other consumer goods were sometimes rented or bought on hire-purchase to spread the cost - maybe credit cards weren't so common then, I think. Children didn't do as many paid-for activities. Most families I knew had a car, but more than one car in the family was a rarity. Clothes were more expensive compared to salaries than they are now.

So while I know some people really are struggling with the cost of living, life back then was not necessarily cheaper and many people had less than people have today.

Surely it depends what school you went to and when? Some schools in the 70s and 80s were notoriously lax, others were still carrying out corporal punishment.

@mumofonehas it correct - it’s the basics that are tougher ,housing and utilities in particular. Fat more ‘computer says no’ for things like private renting, far less social housing available .

i grew up in a 4 bed semi in a midlands mining town - we were considered well off - had 2 cars, went abroad- this was late 60s/early 70s - my lovely bright friend on the other hand lived in a 2 bed back to back terrace, dad in jail, broken windows, mice, bread and jam for tea, no heating, outside loo ,absolute slum stuff - a lot of people have rose tinted glasses- she wasn’t the only one by any means I knew of - my mum used to insist after a while she came to ours for tea/hanging around several times a week.

Yes this is true! Ironically perhaps house prices have been able to go up because both parents work. It's a vicious circle in that respect.

Plenty of people's experiences on Mumsnet from their childhoods have been nothing like mine even though they were born the same time as me or later.

I'm aware that I had a very privileged middle class Home Counties childhood with a dad who worked in a business with a company car and an expense account and I lived in a modern house etc etc.

But one of the main differences is that my mum was a in a job that meant she worked with teenagers who were pregnant and was also a relationship counsellor. She very much gave me all the sex info and about puberty etc etc. Plenty of mumsnetters write posts saying they didn't have mums who told them about periods and so on and didn't provide them with sanitary products etc. etc. Which I find awful and borderline abusive. But presumably the mum's were too embarrassed.

I'm late 40s and remember my Catholic primary school being strict - shirts and ties even in the nursery class, teachers hitting us, learning by rote etc. But then for a while I was sent to a non religious school and it was so relaxed - no uniform, no corporal punishment, you didn't even have to call teachers sir/miss or stand when they entered the room. My brother is 14 years younger and had a very different experience of life in general - everyone was much kinder and more aware of social issues in his experience.

Both my parents worked, had a 45 mile commute (each way) and shared a car. There was no planet on which theyd have been giving us children lifts anywhere. They had professional jobs, but no way could they have afforded holidays, a car each, meals out, nice food, wine, a warm house, not to do diy, etc. I dont think aftercachool childcare really existed. They bought a house at the far end of what they could afford and interest rates became insane. But the standard of living was way poorer than today, even though housing was a much smaller %age of income.

I lived in a very old house in the 80's. No inside toilet and no bath. Ice on the window when it was cold enough. Place was obviously in dire need of modernization...... But you didn't have to wait week's to see a doctor. They actually came to you if you were really poorly. Yes thing's were hard but nowhere near as bad as they are now. My parents brought the house they still live in for £25, 000 in 1980. 3 bed semi detached. Couldn't get a garden shed for that price now lol. And the 80's had the best music 🎶 ❤️

I was born in early 60s. Both my parents were teachers - mum primary, dad grammar. We were affluent, this was thanks to both my grandfathers in different ways. My mum had a poor rural upbringing, her father was a farm labourer but he was determined his children including my mother, should get an education, go to uni and get proper jobs and not have to labour like he did. My father’s father was also born into a poor rural background but got apprenticed to a stonemason, became a builder and built a successful house building business. He had died by the time my parents met and with his inheritance my parents were able to buy a detached brand new suburban house to start their married life in. I think my sibling and I and our cousins were the first generation of our family to be born middle class. Our house had three bedrooms and one bathroom which would no doubt horrify millennials, but we did have a downstairs loo. This was quite normal for the time. Even the bigger houses down the road only had one bathroom and two toilets! We had central heating and a shower over the bath. School was not an easy environment though, I now believe I had ADHD and ASD but they were simply not recognised in those days, you were characterised as stupid/lazy if you struggled with academic work. Praise was rare.

Yes I think I'm probably adhd but was thought of as naughty or lazy I think.

I agree with this post.
I grew up in a 'lower middle class' area of London in the sixties. Hardly anyone had a car and had to rely on buses in all weathers. The nearest bus stop was a fifteen minute walk away for us and waiting times very erratic. Central heating was unusual.Classes in primary school were well over 40 with no facilities or resources. Teachers left us to read etcetera for long periods and little marking was done. No supply teachers. Everyone had FAR fewer clothes and much mending was done.
There were few cafes and it was unusual to visit one. If you did it would be strictly a drink, definitely no food for us.Occasional fish and chips. No convenience foods. No washing machine, no freezer. Definitely no foreign holidays. No manicures, no take away coffees.
When it came to parenthood, I was mixing with more middle-middle class people, but only a few stand-out people got new things for their babies. It was all borrowed and hand-me -downs. Furniture was relatively much more expensive and once bought was for life.
Okay, houses were relatively more affordable, but loads of people were lodgers or took in lodgers. Everyone owned an awful lot less. Don't forget there was no equality of wages and women earned a lot less than men and fewer professions were truly open to them. The most likely occupation for women was secretary or typist where we lived. So a woman would not be able to buy a house herself.