AIBU to be disappointed and a bit upset about this?

[Upsetbetty]

Please go easy. I’m just a bit emotional and confused/sad/disappointed at my work colleagues. I have had a big birthday this week. And I know it’s only Thursday but I’m starting to feel upset that my work colleagues (who usually celebrate these things) have not done anything yet. Unless it happens tomorrow of course which is not impossible but I feel like it’s unlikely. Another colleague had a similar birthday before Christmas and they got a card/cash. I had an email today saying there were two cards in X persons drawer to sign for a person who is leaving and another for someone else who is celebrating a significant event. AIBU? Should I try to hold off my disappointment until tomorrow when I can actually say “oh they didn’t do anything 😔”
I know it’s not a given that these things happen…but I can’t help feeling the way I feel.

Did you mention the surprise party? Are people pissed off that they wasn't invited? I stopped contributing to events in work because it seemed to be for a select few. I wouldn't have been able to not reply with "it is nice, shame my 40th was overlooked then".

Wow that’s crap OP. Sorry.

I'd have just plainly said that you won't be contributing because your events don't get celebrated.

But how could they celebrate your birthday if no one at work knows when it is?

Depending on the situation, you could mention how hurt you were that your birthday "seemed to get overlooked, even though it was a milestone birthday" and say you're not really comfortable contributing to such an unfair and hurtful system anymore.

Just to say, I have bared my soul and said this sort of thing before and people rarely react the way you want. It's never anguished apologies. Always just banal "I thought you said two years ago last never that you didn't like a fuss so we didn't bother" weaseled excuses and trying to blame you.

So don't say anything if you think it will make it worse!

In response to being invited to contribute I would simply say “no, I thought we weren’t doing gifts anymore as there was nothing arranged for my 40th” and leave that hanging.

Ahh I'm so sorry OP that your work colleagues are so thoughtless.

I hope you had a lovely birthday regardless.

Yes, I said something along that line, I signed the card because I wanted to be nice. But I said I won’t be contributing. I basically said I was hurt because nobody celebrated my birthday.

Good on you for saying it!

How did they react?

Do you think they'll do a belated whip round and card to make it up to you? (I think they should, even just to acknowledge that they fu*ked up and they are sorry, a genuine apology could go a long way)

Well hopefully that person has gone away with their tail between their legs and told others, who are all suitably embarrassed...

I know it won't make up for it but you might get a few apologies.

I also need to know what they said when you stood up for yourself.

I don't really like work birthday cards and presents for this reason - someone will always get left out, and probably not even for a particular reason other than bad luck.

Good on you for speaking back. I stopped contributing a while ago too as its never fair. Prime example just recently, I was off for 8 weeks with a health issue and recieved no flowers, a work colleague has a parent who has been unwell and she got flowers. I was flabbergasted , I'm over it like you too but humans amaze me at times.

Good for you! What did they say to that? I hope they retreated suitably shame faced.

I am surprised your DP who is also your colleague didn’t arrange anything @Upsetbetty ?!

He Did his own thing outside of work, it’s not his job to ensure colleagues in work celebrate me. I can’t expect him to do that as it’s too personal for him. He was equally as upset…for me. He doesn’t really get involved in other birthday celebrations so he can’t have special treatment for me…

What reaction dud you get when you said you were hurt?

react from who?

Good for you. Did you get any acknowledgment that they “forgot”?

From whoever you said you were hurt

Not a huge reaction, I think she was taken aback that I even said it to be honest.

Wow, she was taken aback? These people must be utterly dense OP.