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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

What do you think of this family house rule?

897 replies

Porcell · 13/03/2025 18:38

People in the house are not allowed to come downstairs in the morning without being fully dressed/clean and moderately groomed.

This does not apply to school kids during the week. But at the weekends/school holidays memebers of the household are not allowed to be in pyjamas. They can veg out on the sofa but they have to be groomed and in clean clothes. Trackies are allowed.

OP posts:
MadKittenWoman · 15/03/2025 16:31

HippeePrincess · 13/03/2025 18:42

Doesn’t everyone in the whole world go and make coffee in their dressing gowns before they do anything else? No way I’d be dressed before coffee, especially on a weekend.

I have coffee in bed every morning.

TotallyForgettableForNow · 15/03/2025 16:37

Today I got up, came downstairs in my dressing gown and pjs. I ate breakfast and messed around in my phone until 10am, then (still in dressing gown) cleaned the house from top to bottom (minus the kids rooms, probably require a set of forensic overalls to attempt those...).
Once I had finished I ran myself a bath, got changed into fresh pjs and an oodie and am relaxing until it is time to cook our evening meal.
I could happily spend all weekend at home, it is definitely my happy place especially since work is soul destroying for five days of the week.

richardosmanstrousers · 15/03/2025 18:35

Gogogo12345 · 15/03/2025 13:26

I've never know anyone to have a " pyjama" day. Does this mean you actually are stuck in the house all day? I'd go stir crazy

No you are not actually stuck in the house, why on earth would you be? It’s just a choice people sometimes make.

I would be more concerned about the fact you would go ‘stir crazy’ by spending a day in your own home.

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 15/03/2025 19:21

Again, different strokes for different folks, @richardosmanstrousers. I love spending time at home, but that doesn’t make me right and @Gogogo12345 wrong - just different.

Swiftie1878 · 15/03/2025 19:45

Porcell · 14/03/2025 13:30

The house is a happy home.

😂😂 no, it’s really not.

ICanFeelItComingInTheAirTonight · 15/03/2025 20:58

What's the dad's view of this batshittery?

BlueBatsAndOranges · 15/03/2025 21:14

ICanFeelItComingInTheAirTonight · 15/03/2025 20:58

What's the dad's view of this batshittery?

He’s not allowed a view - it’s number 2 on the house rules.

Likewhatever · 16/03/2025 08:35

I think it’s a good rule. The only way I would be in my bedclothes during the day is if I was really ill.

OctoberandApril · 16/03/2025 08:40

Likewhatever · 16/03/2025 08:35

I think it’s a good rule. The only way I would be in my bedclothes during the day is if I was really ill.

Have you got children?

JeremiahBullfrog · 16/03/2025 08:44

OP should go the whole hog and demand dinner jackets at mealtimes like in Downton Abbey.

Butchyrestingface · 16/03/2025 08:45

I’m in the minority of NOT hating it. 😀

But you’re asking everyone what they think of it, when you haven’t said what YOU think of it, because it’s your house, @Porcell.

biscuitsandbooks · 16/03/2025 08:45

Likewhatever · 16/03/2025 08:35

I think it’s a good rule. The only way I would be in my bedclothes during the day is if I was really ill.

Have you just travelled from the 1850’s?

OctoberandApril · 16/03/2025 08:47

biscuitsandbooks · 16/03/2025 08:45

Have you just travelled from the 1850’s?

That's what I thought when I read bedclothes.

OctoberandApril · 16/03/2025 08:50

This thread has made me want to order some more pyjamas. There are some really nice ones out there.

Snackpocket · 16/03/2025 09:29

This thread just reminds me how many people think they are morally superior because they get up early, or are always doing something and couldn’t possibly ever just be at home doing nothing. I’ll add to that getting straight up and dressed. There is nothing wrong with people having time at home, not doing anything other than relaxing etc. It is not a moral failing!

I don’t have kids but weekdays I’m straight up and into the shower as I’m working. Saturdays I’m up and out for an exercise class and then usually spend the day doing jobs around the house. Sunday is my one day where I’ll get up, put my dressing gown on and sit on the sofa drinking tea for several hours. A slow Sunday morning is exactly what I need after a busy week. Does that mean I’ll do nothing all day. Maybe, maybe not!

godmum56 · 16/03/2025 09:35

BlueBatsAndOranges · 15/03/2025 15:45

Same.
If you want to be out all the time you might as well buy a tent, it’s a damn sight cheaper 😆

yup

Ilikeadrink14 · 16/03/2025 10:24

But it doesn’t HAVE to be a rule! It can just be personal choice. I would hate to live under such regimented conditions. It’s a home, not a prison! A happy home? I don’t think so.

DuesToTheDirt · 16/03/2025 10:31

Snackpocket · 16/03/2025 09:29

This thread just reminds me how many people think they are morally superior because they get up early, or are always doing something and couldn’t possibly ever just be at home doing nothing. I’ll add to that getting straight up and dressed. There is nothing wrong with people having time at home, not doing anything other than relaxing etc. It is not a moral failing!

I don’t have kids but weekdays I’m straight up and into the shower as I’m working. Saturdays I’m up and out for an exercise class and then usually spend the day doing jobs around the house. Sunday is my one day where I’ll get up, put my dressing gown on and sit on the sofa drinking tea for several hours. A slow Sunday morning is exactly what I need after a busy week. Does that mean I’ll do nothing all day. Maybe, maybe not!

Well in our house we get up and get dressed, we don't hang around in pyjamas. It's just what we prefer, I don't think it morally superior, and I don't care what other people do.

What I take away from this thread is the complete hyperbole from the pyjama crowd - that if your family don't wear pyjamas during the daytime your children will hate you, it's a unhappy and regimented home, you are ridiculous and authoritarian, you are old fashioned, when your children grow up they will cut you off and never visit....

Come on people, let's have a sense of perspective here, getting your family dressed before breakfast is not child abuse for goodness sake.

biscuitsandbooks · 16/03/2025 10:42

Come on people, let's have a sense of perspective here, getting your family dressed before breakfast is not child abuse for goodness sake.

You're missing the underlying point. If OP wants to get dressed before breakfast she's perfectly free to do so, but forcing teenagers (and other adults) to comply with that rule is controlling and makes for a pretty unpleasant environment.

DuesToTheDirt · 16/03/2025 10:57

biscuitsandbooks · 16/03/2025 10:42

Come on people, let's have a sense of perspective here, getting your family dressed before breakfast is not child abuse for goodness sake.

You're missing the underlying point. If OP wants to get dressed before breakfast she's perfectly free to do so, but forcing teenagers (and other adults) to comply with that rule is controlling and makes for a pretty unpleasant environment.

You're just proving my point.

biscuitsandbooks · 16/03/2025 11:01

DuesToTheDirt · 16/03/2025 10:57

You're just proving my point.

Not at all. Controlling environments can be abusive too.

TwistedWonder · 16/03/2025 11:17

Snackpocket · 16/03/2025 09:29

This thread just reminds me how many people think they are morally superior because they get up early, or are always doing something and couldn’t possibly ever just be at home doing nothing. I’ll add to that getting straight up and dressed. There is nothing wrong with people having time at home, not doing anything other than relaxing etc. It is not a moral failing!

I don’t have kids but weekdays I’m straight up and into the shower as I’m working. Saturdays I’m up and out for an exercise class and then usually spend the day doing jobs around the house. Sunday is my one day where I’ll get up, put my dressing gown on and sit on the sofa drinking tea for several hours. A slow Sunday morning is exactly what I need after a busy week. Does that mean I’ll do nothing all day. Maybe, maybe not!

Indeed. Only on MN is being a lark rather than an owl considered a moral superiority and the sneering at people who don’t get up at 4am as ‘wasting the day’ and being lazy for having a different body clock is nothing I’ve ever experienced in my entire life.

At weekends the only time I’m up showered and dressed as when I’m leaving the flat - until that point I’m sitting in my dressing gown. And Sundays like today I’m watching tv, drinking coffee and ordering a Deliveroo brunch from my local cafe. - and not a seconds shame or guilt felt.

Miaowzabella · 16/03/2025 11:23

I think we have collectively managed to find an answer to that perennial problem 'how do I get my children to move out before they hit 30?'

IpsyUpsyDaisyDoos · 16/03/2025 11:33

TwistedWonder · 16/03/2025 11:17

Indeed. Only on MN is being a lark rather than an owl considered a moral superiority and the sneering at people who don’t get up at 4am as ‘wasting the day’ and being lazy for having a different body clock is nothing I’ve ever experienced in my entire life.

At weekends the only time I’m up showered and dressed as when I’m leaving the flat - until that point I’m sitting in my dressing gown. And Sundays like today I’m watching tv, drinking coffee and ordering a Deliveroo brunch from my local cafe. - and not a seconds shame or guilt felt.

Edited

We are larks. Up at the crack of dawn and usually ready before anything is actually open to do anything.

What people never mention is that come the other end of the day we are knackered and in bed much earlier than those who wake up later. They aren't wasting the day, their day is just a few hours later than ours.

We sometimes feel like we're more boring than the owls, cos we are done earlier. Definitely not superior.

Gogogo12345 · 16/03/2025 12:03

richardosmanstrousers · 15/03/2025 18:35

No you are not actually stuck in the house, why on earth would you be? It’s just a choice people sometimes make.

I would be more concerned about the fact you would go ‘stir crazy’ by spending a day in your own home.

Edited

Because I prefer to be out doing stuff. What would I be doing stuck indoors? I don't watch TV or films. So indoors it's just housework or reading