What do you think of this family house rule?

[Porcell]

People in the house are not allowed to come downstairs in the morning without being fully dressed/clean and moderately groomed.

This does not apply to school kids during the week. But at the weekends/school holidays memebers of the household are not allowed to be in pyjamas. They can veg out on the sofa but they have to be groomed and in clean clothes. Trackies are allowed.

Agreed!

I don't really get how being dressed and showered as soon as you get up is more virtuous than doing it after breakfast.

Person A: Gets up, makes a coffee, drinks it in bed. Wanders down to eat breakfast in their pyjamas or whatever then gets ready to start their day. Let's say it takes an hour.

Person B: Gets up and immediately showers, gets dressed, sits and drinks coffee in the lounge, has breakfast and then gets on with their day. Again it takes an hour, same routine just a different way round.

Both take up the same amount of time, nobody is entering a fashion contest so what does it matter what way round someone does it?

Weekday mornings I usually go down, have a coffee whilst I make breakfast, sort the kids out then go upstairs and have a shower.

This is because it's more time efficient for me and my husband. He showers first because he has to leave earlier than me, if I were to wait until he's finished then I would be losing valuable time in the morning because I wouldn't be already sorting my food out. I mean sometimes I do that because I'm lazy and CBA to get up but it does make life a lot more stressful because I'm then rushing round. I guess I could use the crap shower at the same time as my husband uses the good shower or vice versa but it doesn't seem necessary just for the sake of not going downstairs and not seeing anybody but the immediate family in our "unclean" nightwear, slippers and messy hair.

What are you on about?
Obviously I do take off my make up before I go to bed anf put my pys on.
So yes, my DH can see me dayli in that state.
We wake up at the same time, see each other in the same state again and then both go on a marry way to get washed and dressed.

We just both like to see each other in normal human shape, not roaming around like two loonatics on open ward eating lunch in pys.

It's not "comfortable".
You can be at the same level of comfort in clothes.
It is just lazy.

Very strange! What if you have to get up with toddler every day at 5am? Am I supposed to dress and groom us both, waking everyone?

Most mornings I come down in pjs and fleece robe, give toddler some milk, change her nappy and snuggle on sofa. We only get dressed and groomed for school run. Weekends I often wear pjs until noon if we're staying in, as do kids and DH.

We just both like to see each other in normal human shape, not roaming around like two loonatics on open ward eating lunch in pys.

@LondonFox you're being incredibly judgemental and rude to other people who don't happen to share your view. Are you always this narrow-minded?

It's obviously you.

And I think you have a bit of an unhealthy cleanliness obsession tbh. How much 'bo' is anyone able to accumulate overnight if they're practising normal personal hygiene generally? Excluding those who sweat excessively, I'd say not that much.

Bed cooties, isn't it obvious? removes tongue from cheek

How does it work then for all the people who eat breakfast in pajamas if you are like me and don't really have breakfast till 11 ish at the earliest ? So sit around in them for 3 or 4 hours?

Tbh I don't understand how people get out of bed and eat immediately

Oh, you'd hate our house on a Sunday morning.

And on a Sunday afternoon.

Encouragement is one thing, but making it a rule / one person dictating that it is not allowed rather than everyone coming to an agreement due to understanding the reasoning behind it is rather controlling.

Well if that’s the rule when they are teenagers they will just stay in their rooms. That’s not good for their mental health. Let them relax how they choose in their home.

Have you asked your kids what they think?

Why do people find being dressed in non-stretchy clothing to be incompatible with relaxing??

There's independent kids, and then there's those who will never want you on their territory.

I asked before but I don't think anyone answered. What if you don't live in a two-storey house. A flat for instance, or any of the milliions of non two-storeyed houses in the world. Do you make a mad dash to the bathroom on a schedule?

With hair I have always let my DC do what they want with it as long as it's clean. I hate my 13yo's current haircut but his hair , his choice.
We've had long hair , mullets, almost bald ( all boys) and I just let them do what they want. If they are going to see MIL I attempt to run a wet brush through it after her "that's disgusting" comment when she was here one morning and she told him to brush his hair and he said "No this is how I like it," just as a battle I cannot be bothered fighting with her.

Interested if a visitor comes to yours and you find them in the kitchen making toast in their pjs? Do you scream/ faint? What if its actually a hugely expensive outfit they just bought from YE. I mean who can tell the difference? And why is loungewear ok but pj's not. You aren't insisting on a shower so basically you are just making everyone change from one comfy pair of pants to another?

As i've already said my 13yo is a pj lover, been at selective primary and now at selective high school ( intellectually selective through tests). The pj's haven't lowered his IQ yet!
Oh and one of my 4 DC only wears shoes at work or playing sport or shopping; one rarely wears a shirt if not at work; one lives in pj's all weekend and the other ,OP would love as he bounces out of bed and into the shower ( though I don't think that was in your rules. All successful , happy and intelligent.
CHILL

Fuck that noise. Houses are supposed to be a sanctuary for comfort. Not some place with utterly pointless rules

Is it a "basic skill" to be denied breakfast if you are in your PJ's? I can understand "get up, have breakfast then go get ready for the day please". But "no breakfast for you til you've got dressed and made sure you're fully groomed" feels more like control than teaching basic skills for the day. Especially on a day off. If I want to spend two hours chilling on my day off before I get dressed, does that mean I'm not a functioning human? Or does my decent job, healthy relationship, relaxed parenting style, ability to cook, the fact I'm a caring person who gives time to others means that I am, in fact, a functioning part of society with all my "basic skills" who on occasion stays in PJ's on a day off?

I wake up starving. Always have. My mother makes herself have breakfast these days so she can take her meds.

There's this strange thing where we're all different. Which is why OPs rule is controlling. Because one size does not fit all.

It really is arbitrary I think OP. If it’s about raising productive young people, I did the heavy lifting of three degrees (the essay writing and studying) practically in my dressing gown! 🙈 I’d actually get in and put it on to get in the zone. I also wasn’t a smelly layabout and recluse and managed to have meaningful relationships and friendships and find a wonderful husband - and hold down a career. My husband is a teeth brusher and washer/dresser upon waking up but my DC love their dressing gowns too. We make lots of memories at home having fun and playing in the morning/reading in bed together etc until we get dressed and go out.

I imagine most people who eat breakfast and then get dressed do so because they like to eat breakfast soon after getting up.

For me having a hot drink and some yogurt or toast is part of my preferred waking up process. I do it in PJs while getting breakfast for kids. Then I get dressed as they eat.

I can imagine if didn't like to eat for a few hours after waking I can imagine how I would have a different daily routine. Can you not imagine how your morning might look different if you did like to eat on waking?

And of course my routine varies. I get dressed before breakfast in a hotel, for example, or if I'm leaving super early for a flight I might just have a hot drink before I leave. Eat breakfast at the airport.

What amuses/baffles me on these threads is people's apparent inability to imagine or understand that everyone has different preferences and also most people are capable of doing different things according to the circumstances of each day.

Am I the only one who likes this?? I was raised to get up, wash etc, get dressed and make my bed before breakfast. Still do this. but I'm not a pj person at all.

We have enogh nonsense today as it is.
We don't need to encourage people to take less care of themselves.
There is nothing narrow minded about that ;)

I don’t really see the point in it.

Not at the weekend
I have a rule that the kids need to be dressed in school uniform before they come down for breakfast on a weekday ( and also no telly in the mornings on school days) but that is so they leave the house on time (they are not messy eaters so it's fine). Weekends seems a bit harsh. What about pyjama days?

We’ve always followed this routine in our home, except uniform is put on before coming down for breakfast too. It’s not a rule, just what we’ve always done. We have a happy and relaxing home and it’s perfectly easy to relax, curled up on the sofa in day clothes as much as in pj’s. Everyone washed and dressed before coming downstairs, ready for the day. None of us own dressing gowns as we’d have absolutely no need for them.