What do you think of this family house rule?

[Porcell]

People in the house are not allowed to come downstairs in the morning without being fully dressed/clean and moderately groomed.

This does not apply to school kids during the week. But at the weekends/school holidays memebers of the household are not allowed to be in pyjamas. They can veg out on the sofa but they have to be groomed and in clean clothes. Trackies are allowed.

It’s not.

But it should be up to the individual how they choose to relax in their own home, surely?

If you can’t wear and do what you like in the privacy and comfort of your own home, then when can you?

@LondonFox but eating breakfast before you get dressed and taking care of yourself are not mutually exclusive things..I eat my breakfast first because I do take a fair bit of care over my appearance, take time getting ready for the day and prefer to do that once I've got some food in me. Other people do things differently.

The narrow-minded part is not acknowledging that there are a range of perfectly valid options in terms of how people start their days as there are in many areas of life. And also seeing fit to randomly insult people because of the way they choose to start their days.

Don't be daft.

There are some lovely pyjamas out there. Don't think you are trendy or cool because of how you do things. It does make you sound insecure if you can't even drink a morning coffee infront of DH before getting dressed.

Ridiculous and controlling!
Are they ex-military or something?

If you can’t relax in your own home, where else?!

@LondonFox your posts don't make sense. How can eating breakfast in your pyjamas mean a person doesn't look after themselves? Tomorrow I'm planning on meeting a friend for a long dog walk. I will get up and have a coffee and a banana downstairs infront of DH. Then I will get ready for my walk.

What do you mean by 'nonsense', exactly? Oh, hang on, I think I can guess - going by your responses generally on this thread, by 'nonsense' you mean people who don't do things the way you do. There's plenty narrow-minded about that. ;)

And I fail to see how someone daring to show their face in their own home before they've showered and dressed is 'taking less care of themselves'. They're simply taking care of themselves a little later in the morning than the 'into the shower the moment the alarm goes off' brigade.

Why is "normal human shape" not the natural way in which people wake up? Why is "normal human" only groomed?

I like to see my husband happy, healthy and comfortable in himself. Same for my daughter. That's "normal human shape". Not being forced to be "presentable" before they're ready in their own home. Who are they being presented to anyway? The people who are supposed to love them unconditionally? Whether they're in PJ's or a suit?

Let people be comfortable and do what works for them.

No not in my house, it seems unnecessary strict. What’s the need for it?

We all eat breakfast in PJs, and on a Sunday I might stay in PJs while I do cleaning and chores (no point putting clean clothes on to do cleaning).

We do have a rule of getting dressed before eating lunch though.

We just both like to see each other in normal human shape, not roaming around like two loonatics on open ward eating lunch in pys.

We aren’t talking about eating lunch in pjs. We are talking about not being allowed - as in it is forbidden to - to come downstairs for anything other than a drink of water until washed and dressed (in in some of the OPs posts bizarrely dressed but not washed). Nobody is roaming like a lunatic for hours on end or is an abnormal shape or taking on non- human form. We are talking about people, on their day off being allowed a slightly slower start to the day than on their working school days and people imposing unnecessary rules on other people to satisfy their own, quite frankly, outdated snobbery and misplaced ideas about early waking and good morals.

what is the actual difference between lounge wear/trackers and a lot of pjs. Yes some nightwear is on the skimpier side but most are very similar to the others

"We just both like to see each other in normal human shape, not roaming around like two loonatics on open ward eating lunch in pys."

And that is absolutely your right, @LondonFox - you both feel the same way so crack on. But that is not what is happening in the OP - the parent in that situation is imposing their rule on other people in the household, whether they agree or not.

We have raised three boys to adulthood - and we never imposed this rule on them, growing up. And we now have three responsible, self-respecting adults who are more than capable of caring for themselves and for others. They are holding down responsible jobs - and are capable of presenting themselves in a business like manner for said jobs. All this achieved despite us letting them lounge around in their PJs at the weekend and leave showers and dressing until later.

It's almost like not micro managing your kids helps them become independent adults. Who knew!

its the fact it's been worn in bed I think. oP presumably wouldn't mind if they got into fresh ones (after getting washed etc)

I've never know anyone to have a " pyjama" day. Does this mean you actually are stuck in the house all day? I'd go stir crazy

I don't equate staying in the comfort of my own home to being "stuck" - I find that a really odd mindset.

I could happily spend several days at home without getting bored or restless.

News flash @Gogogo12345 - different people like different things. Just because you’d go stir crazy doesn’t mean everyone would. Their choice is different to yours - and neither of you are wrong.

You're not padlocked into the pyjamas...

It's not stuck in though. I love my house, it's comfortable and there's plenty to do for entertainment. Sometimes it's nice to stop on and enjoy the home you pay a fortune for.

Which I don’t get because sleeping in a bed creates cleaner clothes than going outside walking etc which she seems ok with

unless she wants pjs worn more than once which also seems counter productive

the problem with these kind of rules they seem logical but actually aren’t

I kind of get what she's going on about, my teen nephew was properly pongy in the morning, despite showering at night, so it was much more pleasant if he showered immediately.
However, we never did insist he had to be fully dressed etc. he would often wander round in boxers/jiggers and a t-shirt or dressing gown after his shower. He'd eat breakfast in his boxers on the sofa watching shit on TV...classy boy hahaha

Are you my mum from the 70s This was our house rule (one of many!) - pyjamas and dressing gowns were strictly for bedroom /bathroom and if you were ill.
Add to that being washed / teeth brushed and going to the toilet done
No wonder now I am so slovenly!

This morning I got up, went downstairs for a drink, got ready for parkrun and brushed my hair.
Came back from pr and had breakfast , before having a shower....
Arguably i might have been a bit smelly (not bo) in my sweaty running kit , more so than had I simply come downstairs in PJs...
As it was I had breakfast alone so no one was there to judge be offended by my attire or smell!

Have a parenting halo. 🙄

What do they do, then?

Is your house so uncomfortable and such a horrible place to be that you can't imagine wanting to spend a quiet day at home? I love being at home and we pay enough for it.

Some of my happiest days are just pottering around at home. I might batch cook, bake, do a bit of gardening, watch a film, read a book under my blanket, do some sewing, tidy up or do some sorting. Or, I might do what I've done today after a week of broken sleep and chill on the sofa alternating between watching rubbish on the TV, doom scrolling and watching the birds on the feeders.

You don't like it, fine, you do you. But don't act like your superior to people who don't go stir crazy spending one day in their home.

Same.
If you want to be out all the time you might as well buy a tent, it’s a damn sight cheaper 😆