What do you think of this family house rule?

[Porcell]

People in the house are not allowed to come downstairs in the morning without being fully dressed/clean and moderately groomed.

This does not apply to school kids during the week. But at the weekends/school holidays memebers of the household are not allowed to be in pyjamas. They can veg out on the sofa but they have to be groomed and in clean clothes. Trackies are allowed.

Not that normal, as currently 88% of posters think the OP is BU. Most people aren't saying that teens should lounge around in pyjamas all day every weekend, just that insisting they are showered and dressed before they are even allowed to venture down the stairs is a bit much!

I’d like to know what prompted OP to start a thread about it. There’s nothing wrong in saying go and get dressed after breakfast, my own mum probably said it, but it’s the rigid rule setting including no messy hair that seems controlling and suggesting some underlying issues.

Some PJs are really nice. They're not all scrappy smelly rags.

Some of you really need to wind your necks in about this. Suggesting it's abusive and that OP's children can't be happy or relaxed because of it is insane.

If OP was truly happy with her "rules" and her household, she wouldn't have started a thread about it in the first place.

People who don't want to change their lifestyles don't start threads asking what other people think.

Seems unnecessary to have a rule about this. If it bothers you, set an example and say what you prefer. They'll probably do what you like in the end but making a rule about it gives a good opportunity for them to rebel. Pick your battles! There are plenty of more important issues to worry about.

We had a similar "rule" growing up - it just wasn't ever verbalised; mum would just tell us to go and get dressed if we were still in nightwear after breakfast. I suspect most of my friends did too.

So many people have posted similar and completely missed the point. This isn't about still being in nightwear after breakfast. The OP doesn't allow her children downstairs at all until they are washed, dressed and 'groomed'. They aren't even permitted 'messy hair'.

It's weird and controlling.

No, stupid rule! No way would I want to have to get showered and dressed before being allowed downstairs to get a cup of tea!

If you go to bed clean and in clean pyjamas then there's nothing wrong with them by the morning and perfectly acceptable to eat breakfast and watch the news or check your emails etc. before getting ready for the day.

I like to come round in the morning before facing a drenching.

Sounds miserable tbh

If I were younger and having a sleepover at a friend’s house and they told me I mustn’t go downstairs until i was washed, dressed and hair brushed as it wasn’t allowed, I’d be thinking I’m glad I don’t live there.

Exactly. I'm perfectly happy with the way I run my home. This is why I have never posted a thread asking if AIBU....

She probably just wanted loads of people to agree with her so she could say "ha! See I'm right" to her kids

As she hasn't yet said "it's not me, it's my friend" I'm led to believe it's her, and she's hiding.

It's pretty obvious it's her from her updates, tbh.

It's batshit. If you can't sit and slob around in your PJ's in your own home, then what's the bloody point?

Despite thinking OP is unreasonable, I do agree with some pp that I'm less lazy and more productive when I get up, and get dressed straight away. However I find that maybe once a month it's nice to have a lazy morning and not have to do anything to a timetable and that includes, showering, dressing and having breakfast (in any order) . I'm usually dressed by noon, and nothing bad happens, in fact I feel quite relaxed.
One DC is at uni, the other always has a sports lesson on a Saturday but that's usually around lunchtime. I'm not fussed what time he gets up or dressed. I know he's not going to be on the difa all day. He's not filthy and doesn't smell, I have no expectation of what he ought to be doing instead, so I'm not sure what sort of standards we're all meant to be upholding and who is policing them?

All children are different though. In the case of two of mine it’s a battle worth picking.
DC1 and 4 have no problem with stopping what they’re doing and getting ready for the day. For DC2 and 3 it’s more of a chore once they’re settled. It makes life much easier all round if they do it before anything else.

Uptight and controlling. And I can’t understand what material difference it makes to anything if they end up slobbing on the sofa anyway. Apart from
creating a load of unnecessary extra laundry.

It’s a bizarrely strict rule for the kids but if someone tried to insist I dress a certain way in my own home then they could fuck all the way off.

You've misunderstood. On a weekend, they can't have breakfast til they're dressed, it's not "go get dressed" once they've eaten. They're not allowed to eat first.

That's why PPs think it's weird and controlling.

I’ve never thought about it, but now I do, DH goes down to the kettle in his pjs and brings coffee back to bed for both of us, but other than that we both shower and dress before going downstairs. It would feel weird not to.

But we don’t have kids and we don’t insist the other has to do it. I also shower and put on joggers when I get in. I don’t hang around the house in my ‘naice’ clothes.

OP: Am I being unreasonable?
MN: Yes
OP: No I'm not because....

WHY ASK?!

SO many of these recently.

What is your YABU or YANBU?

How would you Dh feel if you said it was a new house rule that he must get washed and dressed and brush his hair before he goes on the coffee run? Or just take off his apparently “stinking of BO” pjs and put on joggers for absolutely no reason in the world. Tbh I’m not seeing how drinking coffee in pjs in bed would be within the “rules” if you aren’t allowed to drink coffee in pjs in the kitchen - but they aren’t my rules so I may be wrong.

It would feel weird to most people to sit about in dirty pjs all day but there is an argument being allowed a slightly relaxed weekend morning at your own pace instead of not being allowed a drink of anything but water until you are fully dressed.

I’m now over invested and wondering what people in flats and bungalows do.

Same here. I sort of get where you're coming from, OP, but I don't agree with it. A person of any age shouldn't have to abide by a dress code in their own home.

I totally agree, like I said, it’s not a rule we have, I just automatically go from bed to shower before I get on with anything else.

I never gave it a single thought until I read this thread.

I’m all for school children changing out of school uniform when they get home, but I don’t understand why you have clothing rules, to me that’s odd. Fair enough if receiving visits or going out but other than that, not sure why anyone would care.

You think OP is a he? Interesting.

@Porcell can you confirm?

Edited to add:
Op says The mum of the house (not saying if it’s me or not) hates the teens slobbing around in pyjamas. She thinks it encourages people to start the day off right and creates a nicer home environment.

So even if OP is a man (she’s not) it’s the mum of the house with the batshit rules.

I don’t know what they are.

Posters have said their mum or dad was like this and so I guess either sex can be absolutely batshit 😂