What do you think of this family house rule?

[Porcell]

People in the house are not allowed to come downstairs in the morning without being fully dressed/clean and moderately groomed.

This does not apply to school kids during the week. But at the weekends/school holidays memebers of the household are not allowed to be in pyjamas. They can veg out on the sofa but they have to be groomed and in clean clothes. Trackies are allowed.

You sure?

This

I preferred to have a harmonious relaxed household for my DC without a bunch of rigid rules which reflect my psychological neuroses and need to control :(

well if its kids you can of course make rules, but 1. Don't try it on the grownups and 2. Watch them vanish when they are able.

Do u allow burping and farting and messy hair or are they banned too?? Wouldn't like to grow up in your house.

Well I’m guessing someone isn’t happy with the rules. Why else would you bother asking here?

It's giving hotel... Going down for breakfast = must be presentable. Unlike.

Or a home that has 'company' staying (guests) or workmen in and therefore PJ's are not appropriate as we must keep up appearances. Unlike.

Wafting around your own home in your PJ's is one of life's little luxuries. Feeling safe and comfortable enough to do so is priceless, honestly. Taking that away seems a bit odd IMO. But you do you!

They were banned in ours! Once ever I came down without brushing my hair and I was marched straight back up to do it before I could have breakfast.

This was one parent and step parent. We are now NC. Fortunately for me my other parent wasn't like this.

Oh no not for me.
I'm the opposite, weekdays kids have to come down stairsteeth brushed and dressed. Weekends pjs all day if they want.

What happened to 'their house, their rules'? I'm not saying that I would insist on that, especially as I now live alone(!), but others live their way!

That was always the rule imposed on us by my mother, even on xmas day, we weren't to leave our bedroom essentially withoutu being dressed. Absolutely hated it, no logic to it really.

The thing that really gets me about this post was the reference to not being allowed downstairs with "messy hair". Literally no justification at all for this!

I also think relaxing on the sofa in your pjs is fine. Insisting that people are up, washed, and dressed before being allowed downstairs is unnecessarily controlling.

Personally, I don't want to put on clean loungewear until I'm showered. And at the weekend, I don't necessarily want to jump in the shower the minute I wake up. A relaxing meander downstairs, then have a shower in an hour or so. Lovely.

Insisting that no one is allowed downstairs with messy hair, or before they are showered and dressed, is the very opposite of a loving, relaxed home. It's not about hygiene because no one is that filthy after sleeping for one night in a clean bed, wearing clean nightclothes that they would contaminate the sofa, FFS 😂 There's plenty of posts on this thread from adults who describe having issues because their parents had similar rules.

You do you, OP but the fact you had to ask here suggests that either your home is not as harmonious as you insist, or someone in real life has pointed out that it's a ridiculously controlling rule.

There was a blissfull time when you knew that if someone is in pys past 9 am they are unwell (physically or mentally).

What an odd thing to find 'blissful'.

You can raise your standards without being controlling.

The OP having such batshit strict rules, does nothing for society. It’s just a way for him to control his wife and kids.
Its pathetic really.

Sounds it 🙄

I wouldn't want to live anywhere which didn't allow me to come down in my dressing gown in the morning to put the kettle on for my first coffee, sit on sofa, slurp it down and then go back to shower etc.. I do normally get dressed before I eat breakfast but to not be able to go down to make a drink before I shower would be intolerable. I also don't see the point of you letting kids eat in pjs to save school uniform. If they are such messy eaters then they will never improve if they know they can make mess in pjs and then get dressed. In my home you couldn't eat breakfast on school days until you were fully dressed and ready to go. That is better preparation for life.

Dear lord most people have busy lives including children, sometimes it's nice at the weekend to have a lazy morning

I bet you are fun at parties 😂

It sounds ridiculously uptight and overly controlling to me. Not the kind of vibe I wanted to create for my dd when she was growing up. I wanted home to be a sanctuary for her, a place where she could relax and unwind.

Personally, I think one of the most important features of good parenting is having the ability to pick your battles wisely. It seems to me that this is a very unwise battle to engage in. It is precisely this kind of pointless trivia that drives unnecessary wedges between teenagers and their parents.

& I’m sure Kim Jong Un describes his citizens as happy.

Putin too.

So why ask?

If it was genuinely happy, you wouldn't be asking here.

Do you live in the Von Trapp house?

You need a whistle

I understand picking your way through pj-ed hungover teens on a Saturday lunchtime isn’t sitting room goals, but you do sound like a bit of a pompous twat here OP, sorry.

Some of these comments man, they're wild lol.

Having your kids in a routine of being dressed before coming downstairs is totally normal. Totally, boringly, mundanely normal. We had a similar "rule" growing up - it just wasn't ever verbalised; mum would just tell us to go and get dressed if we were still in nightwear after breakfast. I suspect most of my friends did too.

And I agree on one point - I'm far less inclined to be lazy if I've got up, washed and dressed. I haven't today, because I'm working from home - tomorrow I am up early to take my son out, and I'll be much more inclined at about 11am when we get back to do stuff.

Some of you really need to wind your necks in about this. Suggesting it's abusive and that OP's children can't be happy or relaxed because of it is insane.