What do you think of this family house rule?

[Porcell]

People in the house are not allowed to come downstairs in the morning without being fully dressed/clean and moderately groomed.

This does not apply to school kids during the week. But at the weekends/school holidays memebers of the household are not allowed to be in pyjamas. They can veg out on the sofa but they have to be groomed and in clean clothes. Trackies are allowed.

The OP is at liberty to have her own views, as are others on this thread.

I guess the weekend morning issue is about personal choice and according other householders the same respect.

That's how I and everyone else I know, neighbours, friends and relatives grew up. Change to something else, wash, have breakfast etc. That's how it is in our house too and our children do not feel oppressed. If they have to go to the shops they don't have to go upstairs and get dressed. I've been to neighbours' here in the UK too and everyone is dressed in the morning. Nobody has ever opened their door in pyjamas. I never had to force my way to DH either because that's how he grew up too. I don't know anyone suffering from any trauma

This was a rule in our house growing up and I’ve carried it with me to adulthood. I never found it horrible or insane. 😅

It was just the routine, to wake up and shower and put on fresh clothes and brush your hair. Then you come down for breakfast.

We were never allowed spend the day in our pj’s but changing into comfy loungewear is much the same in my opinion? I also wear loungewear in the evenings and only put my pj’s on when I’m about to actually get into bed.

Exactly!

Mental. Always breakfast in pyjamas or trackpants in this house.

But if it had been the norm since they were toddlers then they probably would've been up and dressed

when my children were little, getting dressed was always done before going downstairs - the only exception was if they were ill but even then I don't think they often stayed in their pjs. Maybe it comes from a lifetime of looking after dogs and horses for me so you get up, change, clean teeth, go and sort the animals before sorting your own coffee/food! Does it really matter either way?

Normal rules.
Unless toddlers eating breakfast before nursery or someone is sick there is no point to roam around in pys half a day.
Wake up, wash, teeth, hair, get dressed, get among other people. 5 to 10min job.
Shows you have some sense of respect how you present yourself to the world.
I have never seen any of my own family members not doing it like that as a kid.
My husbad had the same experience.

I am surprised how much people let them selves go in the last two decades!
There was a blissfull time when you knew that if someone is in pys past 9 am they are unwell (physically or mentally).

I think the real issue is that this needs to be a rule in the first place, because kids/teenagers with active social and fitness lives would just naturally get dressed for the day to do the activities they needed to do that day. If the kids only activity is sitting around at home, something that can be done in pyjamas, but you need to enforce getting dressed to somehow make you feel like they are getting more out of their days than they are, then the issue isn’t the clothes they are wearing but the fact that they are spending the whole day doing something that they can easily do in their pyjamas.

The getting dressed might make you feel better but at the end of the day if they don’t NEED to get dressed for their day as a natural first step in order to do the thing (go to a sport, go for a run, go into the garden to play, visit a friend) then they aren’t doing much.

Maybe instead of enforcing changing into day clothes you should instead book them a fun and enriching out of the house activity for 11am so getting dressed is just something that happens.

Duvet days can then be a restful treat on the days they don’t have much on.

Insane!

Historically, even the aristocracy didn’t get fully dressed for breakfast, they would wear their “morning gowns” aka dressing gowns for the casual meal of breakfast. So I don’t think you even have old timey etiquette on your side 😆 Maybe you could buy all your children lovely silk brocade morning gowns to wear to breakfast?

It wouldn't be for me. People should be able to wear what they like in their own home (within reason, e.g. not covered in mud so that it's making the sofa dirty). One family member's preference shouldn't control what the other people are allowed to wear.

I had a parent who had rules like this. We haven't spoken in many years.

As an adult the comfort I get from being able to come home and change into PJ's is unmatched.
Its not something I would force on my own children.

To each their own but if you're getting kick back from those you live with (hence asking here?) I would be questioning exactly what benefit there is to it. Whilst you may feel one way about it, doesn't necessarily mean others will as has been shown on this thread. There are much bigger and uglier issues to be spending time on

Don't be daft. I wear make up and dress nice every day. I still have my first coffeein my pyjamas downstairs. I certainly haven't let myself go.

It sounds like whoever made the rule is quite controlling and should look forward to a very empty house when they are old.
Not exactly the fun relaxed house people will want to visit or take grandkids

Wouldn’t work in my family 😅😂

If your kids/teens have been busy all week with activities, going to the gym, riding, scouts, seeing friends etc all on top of school would you really book an activity for 11am at the weekend?
My kids have very busy weeks, if they want to chill in their pjs at the weekend they are free to do so, as am I.
The days of being up and dressed by 7am are over (thankfully) for us and taking the weekend more slowly is one of the biggest plusses of my children getting older!

It's not daft to show the same effort in the way I look for my husband and children who see me an hour in the morning as I do for people I work with 🤷🏼‍♀️
Guess we have different priorities.

When DCs ask me to make them breakfast which they specifically like and I am missing some of the ingredients they know that I'll ask them to pop to the shops. Why should they moan? Is everyone on mumsnet so unpleasant and always moan to their parents? They have to do what everybody else does and learn when they are still young. What are they going to do when their spouse asks them the same thing as adults? Normally I get all the ingredients before hand but I don't always remember.

Yabu.
I wouldn't choose you as a friend.
But if the desired effect is to get the kids to fuck off as soon as they possibly can.....

Don't be surprised if they hang out with friends a whole lot more than they do at home.

Do they think this is normal ?

I said earlier that I wash, moisturise and brush my hair. I look fine in my pyjamas thanks, especially in my summer ones. My DH loves me in anything. Has your DH ever seen you without make up on or do you get up an hour before him incase he sees you looking a bit unkept?

Obviously the kids do not need to be dressed if they come down for a glass of water (none them are into hot drinks). But if they’re up for the day they need to be presentable.

The only 'rule' I would have imposed is that the lads couldn't wander round shirtless or just in their boxers. I never had to say anything though as they always wore pj bottoms and t shirt as cozy wear. ( This is when they were teenagers)

I think it sounds awful.
Not at all relaxing and not like a home at all!

I don’t do anything until I’ve had coffee. It wouldn’t work for me. Even if I’m away in a hotel I have a coffee in my room before I get washed and dressed and go for breakfast. I don’t get dressed before showering and it is a total waste to change out of pjs into different loungewear to have breakfast and then wash and change into a third outfit. I change at work too so that would see me changing into my 4th outfit of the day by 07:25. You shouldn’t be sleeping in clothes that are so disgusting you can’t go and boil the kettle in them in your own home with your own family. I think it’s weird and controlling and I couldn’t have any respect for anyone who tried to impose it on me. My dad did 20+ years in the navy and ran a tight ship but we still ate Saturday morning breakfast in our nightclothes. I think some people on this thread need MUCH nicer sleepwear if the sight of it signals disrespect to the viewer.