What do you think of this family house rule?

[Porcell]

People in the house are not allowed to come downstairs in the morning without being fully dressed/clean and moderately groomed.

This does not apply to school kids during the week. But at the weekends/school holidays memebers of the household are not allowed to be in pyjamas. They can veg out on the sofa but they have to be groomed and in clean clothes. Trackies are allowed.

It doesn’t make them clean just because they have changed their clothes and brushed their hair. You say it only takes 5 mins so you are not expecting them to shower.

The rule is ridiculous. Imagine not being able to relax in your own home.

I'm astonished at the number of people that hang around the house in their pyjamas. But even more astonished at the number of people that consider it repressive, controlling and bizarre for everyone to get dressed first thing.

Very anal, kids should feel comfortable and relaxed in their home not policed. There’s enough of rules and conformity in school. But the likelihood is your children won’t hang around to move out.

Agree with this. We all do this in my house but it’s not a “rule” it’s just our natural habit unless we are unwell.

I get myself and my kids ready and dressed everyday before going downstairs but we are usually down for 7 to leave at half past. Unless it’s the weekend of half term. They were 7&3

I think we’re in the minority here but that’s kind of how it works in our house.

Dressed, teeth brushed etc before coming downstairs for the day.

We started with that when the DC started primary school, as we found that school mornings ran much more smoothly if the DC were dressed before breakfast. And then it sort of turned into a habit, and the DC started proactively getting dressed themselves first thing in the morning on the weekends and holidays too, so we just kind of rolled with it. And now getting dressed etc before coming downstairs is the norm in our house.

There’s never been any real laying down the law stuff about it.
The DC have never complained about getting dressed etc before coming downstairs in the morning, so I presume they’re happy enough with it. And I don’t think that either DH or I would be all that bothered if they did appear in their PJ’s on a lazy weekend morning, unless they were actually stinky.

I’m guessing though, that given OP’s bothered making a post about it, that OP’s DC are not happy with this routine and are pushing back against it?

Agree with this. My DP would love this rule because he finds getting autistic DC dressed a nightmare and thinks this would help to be a regular routine. I encourage but don't insist on it

It's not a rule I'd implement. But it's not the most outrageous thing either. I'm assuming the word rule is used loosely so that nobody is actually punished or yelled at if they break this rule. It is just something that comes naturally cause that's how it was always done.

But surely you are moaning at them anyway in order to enforce this 'rule'.

I personally wouldn't have anyone going around with BO because to me that's part of both self respect and respect for others (within reason, some people can't help it and that's different). But I would see having breakfast together as a family in jammies as very normal and then getting dressed after to go out.

I do feel better when I'm washed and dressed even if it's into comfy clothes but it's not something I'd insist on before breakfast. I'd say by lunchtime is fair enough. I love a nice leisurely breakfast in jammies of a weekend and ds will actively request to come into my bed after breakfast on a sat/ sun for a cuddle and a bit of TV time before we're off out for the day. Whatever works for everyone in your house really.

Very controlling!
No one will be telling me to be groomed before I eat breakfast!

For some reason this really, really annoys me in tv programmes! Everyone is dressed, hair done etc 🙄🙄 Meanwhile in tge real world ….

Ok, I'm going to bite here - do I allow my children to lounge on sofa in their bedtime clothes until lunch time? No, they can come down in their PJs but are typically ready for day by 8/9am, earlier if have plans. If they are ill? I ask they change into clean pants/PJs as I think it feels better than being ill and festery 🤣 If we are staying home? They can change from bedtime clothes into slouchy clothes (they typically wear joggers/leggings etc anyway). I generally encourage them to get bathed/showered before bed or following morning if been ill and feeling slightly more 'with it'; not because I believe they're disgusting 😉 but because I think when been ill and sweaty, you feel better for it. Now, do I follow same rules? No...I am that person that gets washed and dressed before going downstairs for a coffee of a morning 😉 husband however varies depending on how he feels of a morning 😆 but he too is generally washed/dressed by 8/9am 😉

Do I care or judge if others follow the same? Absolutely not 🤷‍♀️ shock horror weekdays, despite children not being in school, the same is expected. A gentle reminder "think you need to be thinking of getting ready for the day" cue skippy skip to bedrooms to get washed/dressed 😆

Sounds very controlling to me. I tend to shower and dress before I go downstairs but I’d never impose it on anyone else (especially teens who may be working really hard at school for GCSEs or A’levels and decide to have a chilled morning at the weekend). Why cause arguments if they are generally good, respectful kids?

I wouldn’t like that rule in our house. However from memory it was an unwritten rule in my in laws home. I lived with them for about a year and went downstairs in pjs once. No one said anything but they looked baffled that I was sitting eating breakfast in my pjs. After that I always dressed and showered first

Thank goodness I live on my own now. That was my life when I lived at home many many years ago. Got to be washed, dressed, hair combed before you went downstairs, no watching TV at night in PJ's and dressing gown, now, I get dressed after breakfast, 2 hours after if I feel like it, watch TV in PJ's, took me years to be able to really relax and sit in PJ's for breakfast, horrible stupid rules so nice just to please myself.

The kids of the house (not saying if their yours or not) will be on Mumsnet in a few years’ time asking for advice on how to go NC with their controlling, overbearing, stifling mother who used to set weird, arbitrary and pointless rules for them about what could wear when trying to relax in their own home.

I can’t do a thing before I’ve had two mugs of coffee (at least). I’m a ‘dressing gown and fluffy socks for as long as I like’ person at the weekends and if the kids want to stay in their PJs all day - fine by me! I know the up and dressed rule applies to them at their Stepmother’s house however, and they resent it terribly! But they’re controlled there in many other ways too… 🙄

Bet those kids can’t wait to leave home.

I would expect rebellion - seems too controlling - don’t you like to relax over breakfast sometimes ?

I can imagine your kids leaving home eventually and going downstairs in their dressing gown and loving their freedom from this quite controlling behaviour. Which would make me feel quite sad. I hope when my girls are grown up and moved out, they miss home comforts from growing up (not too much so of course!) and feel nostalgic when thinking about our family traditions/try to create similar ones, not want to do the opposite.

Sounds irrational.

If they go outside the first thing, they would have to change clothes twice, once into something acceptable to be allowed to eat breakfast and a few minutes after the second time into the activity clothing.

The thing about OP comments is that their Pyjamas are dirty and they have BO.
Maybe make the rules to change PJs regularly and shower regularly, then no nasty smell as you seem to be saying there is. 🤮

Totally the wrong way round in my opinion. On a weekday they should be dressed and ready to go before getting breakfast. Weekends are for leisurely breakfasts and chilling in pjs.

Only read the OP’s posts but the “mum” of the house sounds awfully controlling and pretentious. What a stiff house to grow up in. The kids will grow up and live in their pyjamas when they’re adults

It's not a rule in our house but we tend to have breakfast dressed. Get up, shower, get dressed, eat is normal for us. Some of the children might appear in PJs for breakfast on Sunday but not often. Pijamas in bed only.
What I really don't like though is teenagers having naps fully dressed in beds.