What do you think of this family house rule?

[Porcell]

People in the house are not allowed to come downstairs in the morning without being fully dressed/clean and moderately groomed.

This does not apply to school kids during the week. But at the weekends/school holidays memebers of the household are not allowed to be in pyjamas. They can veg out on the sofa but they have to be groomed and in clean clothes. Trackies are allowed.

• Growing up I always got dressed when I got up. We never really did nice PJs and dressing gowns. It wasn’t a rule, I just never did it.

However my DC spend a lot of time in PJs and it doesn’t really bother me. I always think teens are meant to lounge around. Your whole life after teenage years is spent running and racing. Let them chill a bit.

Once they are doing some activity/exercise, keeping up and school and generally happy, I don’t really care if the rest of the time is on the couch. Good for them I say !!!*

Absolutely this.

Absurd. I don't do pyjama days, and find the current obsession with 'cosiness' quute irritating, but I do come downstairs on weekend mornings in my pyjamas and read or knit, have a cup of tea, and sometimes breakfast before having a shower and getting dressed. Banning family members from coming downstairs in pyjamas is just mean and unnecessarily controlling. I'm also suspecting a bit of obsessive cleanliness.

Hardly a happy or safe space. I’d be looking forward to moving out but balancing that cost with therapy sessions.

I think it sounds awful.

If the pyjamas are dirty and smelly, then they really can't be washed regularly.
Clean teenagers don't smell. Edit...Their bedding must be dirty as well, if their pyjamas are.. The householder should wash bedding more frequently, or get the teens to.

In general I find they are dressed when downstairs anyway, but making it in to a rule seems a bit draconian. Why make home into something so regimented when you don't have to?

Everyone has their own way. When my children were newborn I was always dressed by lunchtime and I see no reason why I shouldn't be now (full time work or not) . . . but I'm up with horses by 6 so maybe that's the difference here??

Well, like I said, I like the idea of it but I could never get my kids to agree unless we were doing something. I don’t remember being in my pjs either. I had 3 older brothers so I think I just threw on something comfortable. I don’t really remember bc it was along time ago

Another way for the teens not to be moaned at is for the obsessive parent not to moan at them.

How would that work in a flat? Asking for a friend...

I'm assuming this rule doesn't work for everyone in the household and that's why you're checking what everyone here thinks? In our house, my 3.5 year old gets dressed and brushes her teeth before she comes downstairs - but that's just because she's a massive procrastinator and it makes mornings run more smoothly. I prefer having a shower and getting dressed before going downstairs, but often don't manage to with managing children. My husband always comes downstairs in his pjs and it doesn't bother me at all. I'm sure we'll change things at some point (probs when the 3 year old notices she has to get dressed and everyone else doesn't), but I can't imagine having a hard and fast rule, especially if it doesn't work for everyone in the house.

My husband grew up in a household like this and now as a result he has major issues as an adult.

The parent(s) in this scenario are going to be greatly resented by their children once they grow up.

Yes, similarly we only have a downstairs bathroom. Should we be getting dressed and groomed for the walk downstairs to the shower? Can we grab a tea on the way or is that only when we’re clean?

They're being asked to get washed and dressed before they even come downstairs!

Only if you’re staying with oldsters or the posh.

Mind you, in general, dressing fast cos you’re desperate for coffee is vair useful.

It’s ok as long as you intend to invest in a full set of lounge wear for the whole family 😆

How unwashed are people in this house that after an evening shower and a night of sleep they “smell of bo in dirty pjs”?

seriously ? I suggest to my teen at a weekend she might like to go get dressed etc for lunch but other than brushing teeth as soon as they get up I don’t see an issue if not going out somewhere immediately in the morning, I I think having a lazy morning in pjs is quite nice occasionally particularly for children after a hard week at school

That is the worse idea I've ever heard! How does it work in the evenings? Tonight I came straight home, bath & pjs on by 7pm....would I be allowed back downstairs?

What would the rule be if you lived in a flat or a bungalow?

Well you're quite obviously the mum in this scenario. You're imposing your ideas of cleanliness on an entire household of people. It all sounds a bit joyless to me.

A childhood friend grew up in a house with this kind of old fashioned rule and I hated staying over because of it. It felt like some kind of performance that their mum thought reflected well on her rather than what the kids wanted or what would have made them comfortable in their own home. It wasn't the only decision made like that either. All the children are now adults, live in different countries to their parents and rarely visit.

@Porcell you are nuts imo

I feel the same about that as being micro managed at work. Our home is a safe comfortable space and we are in pjs often as soon as we get home. I get that every family is different but I'm glad that's not my family.

I don't mind my kids coming down in pjs and staying in them til I ask them to get ready. However when my child became 11 he started getting bo, so I hated the idea of him being downstairs in pjs that he's slept with, I have a lounge set and tell him when he wakes up to change into the lounge set, so he's not lounging on the sofa with pjs he's slept in.

I myself never ever go downstairs with what I've slept in, I find it disgusting. I have loungewear, immediately after going to the toilet I get changed in loungewear and then go downstairs. Even if I showered at night, I would put a new set of loungewear and go down, I wouldn't wear my new set of pjs downstairs, will only wear them before getting in bed.
My dh knows if he sees me in my pjs at evening time, it means I won't be going down anymore lol