What do you think of this family house rule?

[Porcell]

People in the house are not allowed to come downstairs in the morning without being fully dressed/clean and moderately groomed.

This does not apply to school kids during the week. But at the weekends/school holidays memebers of the household are not allowed to be in pyjamas. They can veg out on the sofa but they have to be groomed and in clean clothes. Trackies are allowed.

It sounds like a controlling environment where people can’t feel relaxed in their own home.
What happens if someone doesn’t follow that rule? Are there consequences?
I think it’s a ridiculous rule personally.

I once stayed with someone who kept the (see through) plastic covering on her new sofa because she didn't like people sitting on it, and you were not allowed to sit on any upholstered chair with jeans on in case the studs made a mark. I don't remember if joggers were permitted. It was well before MN (or tinternet) was a thing but I think she'd have fitted in well! 🤣

Tbh, they're not going to learn independence by being micromanaged in this way. Do you not trust them to eat without spilling food? Or to get back up and dressed in good time for school?

Mine set alarms, get themselves up, fed, washed, dressed and out in time for the bus by 0740. No nagging or crazy rules required.

Why is getting changed seen such as a chore? I remember a school mum telling me once that she lets her dcs sleep in their uniform on a Friday night so they can relax and don’t have to get changed into their pjs. So weird.

Do you all eat breakfast together? Every day?

Our evening meal is eaten together. Breakfast, no. My daughter is an early riser and is often up st the kitchen table, studying. She may or may not have had a shower. I get up at 6.30am and make us both a coffee and then watch the morning news on the couch, in my pajamas (or, ‘stewing in my own filth’ if you like). My son stumbles out bleary eyed at some time after 7 and I make his coffee. By then my daughter has eaten, he may or may not eat. I eat after they leave for school. Then I shower.

This insistence on being spotless at all times sounds rather...non-U to me.

<runs>

I'd confuse the op, I shower first, but come down to make coffee in my towel with a dressing gown on top.

So I'm clean, but dressed like a slattern.

Why does your own children's hair neatness matter at home with family? You pushed them out (or they were lifted out) covered in your own blood and various other bodily fluids. Beholding them in any state shouldn't be offensive.

Getting raised by a control freak doesn't create independent children though, leaving because you can't stand your life being controlled isn't "independence"

Careful. You might "show too much" to quote someone up thread. The horror.

What a nutcase!!

Complete batshit.

Why are unmatched socks offensive?

"Maybe others disagree but I still find that it helps reset and refresh me in the morning!"

I actually agree with you; I always take a shower and get dressed in comfy clothes first thing in the morning because I LIKE IT. That doesn't mean I get to make this a golden rule for everyone. My DH would definitely not like it nor my kids. So the problem is not you, me or OP getting dressed in the morning- it's about forcing everyone to to exactly as you even if they don't like it. Smells dictatorship and OCD about this.

What do I think? Draconian and weird.

My husband’s dad used to fixate on his family not being dressed. He was uptight and largely joyless.

I really don’t care what people are wearing at any given time. I’m actually the only one in our family inclined to slobbing around in my dressing gown at lunchtime, but I’d recommend it 😂

I don't personally agree but what do you care?

Your house, your rules.

Those kids will be out of there asap. Which might not seem a problem in theory but how much will they want to come back to visit!

Haha! The towel and dressing gown cover all essentials. Now if some victorian prude objects to my bare ankles, there's not much I can do about that!

I suspect this would be one of those rules that your own children will do the complete opposite of when they have children of their own.They will remember how annoying and anal it seemed for them.

Why is any of that an issue?

I'm going to go with 'Your house, your rules', but I can't imagine your kids running back to visit when they grow up. Not the hill I'd die on, but you do you.

I think the enforcer of this has A LOT of unresolved issues from their childhood that they are either unaware of or choosing to pretend are not there.

This is not normal but asking kids/ teens to sort their hair out before coming downstairs on weekend is just another level. The adult needs to face up to whatever problem their absurd and controlling rules are being used to cover up.

Or you could unclench a bit.

Well it's not 5 minutes if you want to have a shower and wash your hair so if the person's not ready for their shower they have to get dressed to go downstairs then get undressed again to have a shower. What a waste of time.

Do you impose this on guests too?

I’m a 42 year old high level exec at a big 5, I stay in my PJs when WFH, many of our SMT meetings see several of us in oodies and dressing gowns, including CEO level. No one cares.

I for one work better when I’m comfortable and not pointlessly rushed into smartening up for a role that requires brains over appearance. You should see some of our analysts and tech execs. Honestly I don’t think it matters in many many areas of the business world if you’re fully remote.

Of course it may matter in the in-person/stakeholder facing world. I’d be focusing on mind over matter personally as a parent, but it’s up to you what you do.