Shamed by HV for not exposing DD to a second language

[Skedaddledaway]

I had DDs 12 months appointment yesterday. This time was better than previous times as she only managed to say something vaguely offensive 3 times during the 10 minute appointment.

However, there was one comment she made that filled me up with 'mum guilt' about not exposing DD to a second language. I live in a very multicultural area where most children are being brought learning 2 or 3 languages so seeing a child just speaking English is probably less common.

I speak good french (lived and worked in France for several years) but haven't used french for at least 4 years so am rusty! Speaking french with DD didn't feel natural compared to using my mother tongue. Now I am questioning whether that was a poor decision.

As a single mum I have a lot on my plate but I am thinking of starting to expose DD to some french.
My thoughts were:

• Turning her doll into a francophone so when ever we play with it use french.
• incorporating some simple everyday phrases into our daily routine
• reading books in french in the morning during breakfast
• listening to some nursery rhymes in french

Does this approach sound reasonable?

I don't think the HV was intentionally nasty, just a bit ... tactless. That said, I think you are right in that there is lots of time to play and learn a language at this age. No school, no nursery, that's a lot of hours together. Making in a fun activity without any pressure to reach a certain standard of french is going to be the most realistic and enjoyable approach.

Don't get me started on the mum guilt about swimming lessons. DD hasn't been in a pool yet. Luckily the HV didn't mention that!

I remember asking two health visitors to leave my house around 33 years ago, so nothings changed they are still the same!! Ignore her, do what you think is right and what you have time for and unless you have a good reason to be there, dont go to clinic unless its necessary.

Are you sure that's what she meant? Whilst, of course, growing up with a second language would be interesting, the vast majority are unlikely to. Maybe things have changed but I thought HVs just check milestones were being hit etc. Is it possible she was just making conversation rather than giving clear advice?

I feel people have been unnecessarily harsh.

I would say absolutely go for it and expose your daughter to as much french as you can. It doesn't matter if it's not perfect. It will give her a basis to perfect it later on if she wishes.

I grew up bilingually (Spanish / English) and my husband is french. We are teaching our children all three languages and they are pretty much trilingual - not to perfection but very very good in all 3. They did go through phases of 'jack of all trades' but now are doing really really well. They are 6 and 8.

I am massively in to pushing languages and tell parents off for not teaching one whenever they can (because I know what Mumsnet is like, this is to be taken with a pinch of salt! It's parents I am close with and we all joke about it! No real telling off!).

Go for it! And when she's older get her to watch TV / cartoons in french.

I always say, it's a free gift you can give your child. Costs you absolutely nothing but could make a difference to them one day. So why not?

Just had to add... Mine didn't do formal swimming sessions as a tot. We just used to spend hours in the local pools together having fun. Infant school saw kids rushing off for swimming lessons who'd been doing them since birth.

Junior school with formal swimming lessons revealed that most of these kids still couldn't swim any better than mine could. Mine was told they couldn't pass until they'd jumped into the pool so we signed them up to a Week intensive course. By Day 2, they'd jumped into the pool and were swimming beautifully.

The pressure to spend ludicrous amounts on baby swimming lessons is ridiculous. Go and just enjoy swimming together instead. Outdoor pool with sunhat!

It definitely is a thing in some parts of the country.

Had a scary night with DD whose now been referred for suspected seizures. She's been exhausted for the last couple of days and not wanted to do much apart from nap and listen to stories. Apparently, my french is hilarious. "C'est une surprise!!" has resulted in lots of giggles. As long as she keeps smiling I'm going to keep up the french (I'm not sure who's enjoying it more to be honest!)

I think all your suggestions are great.
It doesn't matter that your French is rusty- exposure is better than none at all.

Do you mean all the schools have switched to Spanish now lol?!
(Actually, I know at my old primary school, they have switched French for Italian lol!)

You could also consider sending your daughter to a bi- lingual nursery. That's a strong start for her language journey.
For schools, try and find one that has an emphasis on MFL. Even better if you go private, as they immerse their students into languages alot younger than State schools.

I haven't taken my son to any French playgroups yet. But we do attend a baby- salsa dance class that's in Spanish and English.

For books, I recommend Barbar the Elephant, Tin Tin, Madeleine... They are all series, so she can grow up with them.
(I'm sure your DD will enjoy the Madeleine stories in particular! )

For music, I just type into YouTube French nursery rhymes and work our way through the playlists!