Shamed by HV for not exposing DD to a second language

[Skedaddledaway]

I had DDs 12 months appointment yesterday. This time was better than previous times as she only managed to say something vaguely offensive 3 times during the 10 minute appointment.

However, there was one comment she made that filled me up with 'mum guilt' about not exposing DD to a second language. I live in a very multicultural area where most children are being brought learning 2 or 3 languages so seeing a child just speaking English is probably less common.

I speak good french (lived and worked in France for several years) but haven't used french for at least 4 years so am rusty! Speaking french with DD didn't feel natural compared to using my mother tongue. Now I am questioning whether that was a poor decision.

As a single mum I have a lot on my plate but I am thinking of starting to expose DD to some french.
My thoughts were:

• Turning her doll into a francophone so when ever we play with it use french.
• incorporating some simple everyday phrases into our daily routine
• reading books in french in the morning during breakfast
• listening to some nursery rhymes in french

Does this approach sound reasonable?

I never claimed to be? Nor am I on a mission to raise a bilingual child...

I was really confident at first but self doubt creeps in. Everyone talks about pnd but noone really mentions the one year mark which for me has been tough mentally. So yeah, you are probably right. All from a good place that I think nearly every mum can relate to - wanting to do your very best for your baby

Pop Dora the Explorer on... make a cup of tea... think no more about it.

So, in context, the 'Don't worry mummy will take you to nursery soon' sounds more 'grown up makes idle, inane chitchat with very small child' and less 'HV makes pointed comment about a lack of enrichment at home'.

I can still remember one health visitor 20 years ago, when I apologised for the mess of toys everywhere, saying "Don't worry, it's lovely to see toys out. A lot of the families I visit don't have any toys full stop" 😕

Are you sure you didn't misinterpret what the health visitor said? Did she just comment that there were many bilingual families in your area and that it's good for children? Which is a perfectly acceptable comment and something I'm sure I've said in conversations
Or did she say 'you should be teaching your baby another language even though you are English and only speak English. I can't imagine any health visitor saying that.

Her words exactly were "letting down" as in I would be letting DD down if I didn't expose her to another language that I know because young children can learn up to 5 languages. As I said, I don't think it was intentionally shaming but her delivery was horrible and it hit a nerve.

No, this thread is not about your approach to speaking French and whether it sounded reasonable..

I don’t think I’m the only poster who didn’t understand this from your OP. I think you’re disingenuous.

She sounds like just the kind of person you could do without visiting you as a new mother.

These are precious times for you and your child. Do things your way and enjoy this time as it passes too soon.

Ok, I can't help you interpreted the OP. "As a single mum I have a lot on my plate but I am thinking of starting to expose DD to some french.
My thoughts were:

Turning her doll into a francophone so when ever we play with it use french.
incorporating some simple everyday phrases into our daily routine
reading books in french in the morning during breakfast
listening to some nursery rhymes in french
Does this approach sound reasonable?"

I asked specifically if the approach sounded reasonable. I provided the HV as context. Admittedly, I did not make an effort to hide my disdain for the HV, because, yes, she did upset me. However, I believe I was quite clear. I can't help how other people interpret and respond to my question. If you don't think I'm being genuine then please don't waste your time commenting.

@roseyposey . OP I really do not understand what your issue/post is about is either.

@Skedaddledaway I would be more concerned about the offensive language being spoken by the child than whether or not she can utter a foreign language!

Well do that if you want?

No worries, other people did and made some helpful comments.

This.

My Dmum did warn me as she had a batshit no kids herself one - she said she was really glad to later find women had twins.

First one with pfb - only one was mad one who did home visist who suggested we take the door handels of the rented doors as baby not yet rolling over couldn't open them - other was very nice and helpful. Later ones just seem to exit to upset mothers.

I don't think it is easy to raise a child bilingually - though easier when there's a wider community also using language. If you want to put some tapes, stories you tube song on - it won't hurt but I would go in with really low expectations - and if that's too much than just ignore it all.

What do you mean?

But you are not French. I am a language teacher. I am giving you helpful comments.
Ignore the HV.

This is very bizarre, I wouldn't give it any headspace whatsoever. You can decline the health visiting service but if you want to stick with it, request a different one! She sounds barking and shouldn't be passing judgement on whether or not you send a 1 year old to nursery!

But your thread title is Shamed by HV for not exposing DD to second language.

Why didn’t you call it something like

Need advice on how to introduce a second language to my child

Or wasn’t it sensational enough?!!

So, just so I understand, are you saying speak no french with DD? And that no exposure to french is better than some exposure, even if just for fun. I'm not being snarky, trying to understand your position because it's a long thread and I can't find your earlier posts

I’m still intrigued about the other languages spoken in your area of east London because presumably these are the languages the HV is referring to, not French. You don’t seem keen to let us know what these five other languages are.

I don't understand why this is anything to do with the HV. Tell her to mind her own business.

I have a ds, I speak two languages fluently (worked abroad) and another poorly but haven't tried to teach ds another language.

He did French & German at high school, disliked both and has now given up. He understands basic language structure. If he ever lives abroad, he has the basics to enable him to learn. Otherwise, a second language is of no use to him, and a waste of his time.

I don't understand? She was saying that children have an ability to learn 5 languages not that she regularly sees children learning 5 languages. I think she was just trying to say that children are like sponges and the best time to introduce a second language is now.

I have helped DD with French since primary (she learned French from primary).
But I concentrate on her English, as I am English.

As a result she speaks fairly good French. But I am not capable of raising her from a baby in French. I am not native. Like you, I am just good because I lived there. This is not the same thing at all.

Which area of east London are you in?

Which two or three languages that you refer to in your OP are commonly spoken there?

Vous me comprenez?