Too much ick?

[Stickyspringchicken]

Recently met a guy online, handsome, funny, self sufficient, respectful, the list goes on. But theres just one problem and i dont know if its just me. He finishes our phone calls with "bye kiss kiss" and i just die a little inside. He asks me to say it back and i just cant. Am i unreasonable not to finish our private conversations like this? Hes not really asking much i suppose.

Mentioned he would gag me and use a paddle to spank me and "kiss kiss" would be our safe word. He would get me to say it one way or another. I just dont know where to go from here

Where you go from here is anywhere on the planet as long as it's far away from him. He's sounding you out so now would be a very good time to run like fuck in the other direction.

🤢

some potential partner may like this but it’s not you

you will soon find other things wlll give you the ick find someone who doesn’t (well not right from the beginning)

I find this whole ‘ick’ stuff rather childish. I opened this thread in the hope that someone was agreeing with me.

A man who wants to control your speech and who won't stop doing something you've said you don't like is not a man who you let anywhere near you with a gag or a paddle, even if you're into that stuff FFS.

Depressing that that needs saying.

Couldn’t agree more @Namechangetry

OP, your last update confirms that the distaste you feel around him isn’t going to go away! He isn’t otherwise perfect, so don’t worry you’ll be missing out on a potential soulmate.

I’d go with my gut if I were you and dump him without feeling awkward at all. Good luck

If it wasn't the "kiss kiss" ick

this is a hell no.

I'm out.

As said before, he's sounding you out, see the boundaries, you've not left, you've not pulled him up on it, so he's pushing it further. This one's a weird one (unless you're into that sorta thing).

Nope it's a goodbye from me.

Wooooah kiss kiss is one thing but the S&M 'bantz' has ramped this up to a whole new level of nope.

So he's saying he's going to beat you into submission and you're confused about what to do? Run is what you do, very far and very fast away from this guy.

There is only one way to go from here!? Jesus....

"I don't know where to go from here...."

The hills !

WTF? Why is he talking about using a paddle on you and safe words?? Sorry OP, he sounds like a creep 😳

He sounds domineering. He wants to control your language and seems he wants to tie you up and beat you with a paddle. Are you even in to S&M?

I'd be running far away from this one. He's sounding out your boundaries for sure.

Run. Run fast and block him. Unless, of course his " interests" are similar to yours.

How are you going to be able to say ' Kiss kiss' with a gag in your mouth! Run for the hills.

I think its nice cant see any ick at all.
Give it a go dont let something food go because of a word that gives you the cringe.
But then again i get the ick over loads of things people do simple normal things and im dying inside.
Its a me problem at this point.
Even watching films or series some things actors say do or act im cringing i have to skip it.
Or things i read on MN sometime i think Nooooooo.
Im just full of ick and cringe and i need to stop it.

No one does including the trans lot who try to dictate pronouns and use of them by everyone else including attempting to push that awful cis crap.

How can you use a safe word if you're gagged. He sounds a right creep, checking to see how much he can push you 🤢🤮

Yup.
Bye kiss kiss seems better than the alternative!

I'd bye kiss kiss him off

I'm with you OP with language; it can just be the defining "ick." Once had a man who called me "my dear." Bye Bye.

If it was just the kiss kiss thing I’d do a big clap or a zipping noise down the phone and say, that’s my fanny clamping shut, but the gagging and beating thing? Run like fuck….

From your update, fuck him off. The man has no sense. How are you meant to say all those sibilants when gagged? 'gthh gthh?'

You think it's 'nice'? A man who says he's going to make her say something she doesn't want to say one way or the other, and is talking about gagging her and hitting her with an implement. You she should 'give it a go'? Raise your standards.

It's creepy AF even for BDSM standards. (It's the sub who chooses the safeword, not the dom). Your ick is a sign that your intuition was right, from the very start.

Oh no, definitely no after your update!

I would have just told him about the 'bye, kiss kiss' and asked him to stop, but the paddle and the safe word is just too much. How did you not burst out laughing?

This is a man who is into kink but is not emotionally mature enough to raise it in a respectful way; instead he's testing your boundaries in a cowardly, sly and crass way – off in his own little fantasy land and you are just an object. RUN.