DH left me NOTHING in his will – devastated and fuming

[jackmd5]

I’m honestly reeling and don’t know what to do. DH of 15 years passed away unexpectedly a few months ago. It’s been a horrible time, and I’ve been dealing with everything – funeral, DC, paperwork, the lot – while also grieving.

I’ve just found out that he left NOTHING to me in his will. Not a penny. Everything has gone to his two DC from his first marriage, who are both adults and very comfortable financially. Our joint savings, the house (which is in his name, long story), even his personal possessions – all left to them. I get that he wanted to provide for them, but to leave me, his WIFE, completely out??! I am beyond hurt and also absolutely panicking because I have no idea where this leaves me financially.

He made the will before we were married, and I stupidly assumed he’d updated it. I trusted him. Never in a million years did I think he’d do this to me. I’ve raised our DC, supported him through thick and thin, and now I’m left with nothing??

I feel sick. I don’t even know where to start with legal stuff – does anyone know if I can challenge this? I can’t believe he’s done this. I thought we had a happy marriage. Just looking at his face in old photos makes me want to scream.

Has anyone been through anything similar? What did you do? I feel so betrayed.

You’re either wilfully misrepresenting what I’ve written or you are genuinely confused.

I agree but given that a will only comes into play when someone dies in not sure how this would be enforced so i assume this is why we have the laws of intestacy and the chain that goes with it.

It should be a legal requirement that you have a will written within x amount of time of marrying.
People who do not comply would be fined.

Yes. In spite of the fact that my husband wrote a will after he married me, he was unaware of the law in Scotland regarding "legal rights" which come into play no matter what is in the will.

For example, this meant that any car in his name would have counted as part of his moveable estate, necessitating that I pay his adult children one third of the value of the car. Once he realised, our last car was put in my name.

It’s so incredibly complicated when second marriages have existing children involved from previous relationships.

People should have everything clearly explained so they can make informed decisions as your husband did.

i’m not confused about the law. Your responses seem to be more your moral opinion.

At the minute there's no legal requirement to log a will anywhere while you're alive. Mine is in a box in my house. My family know where it is. So this would need to be changed as well

So you’re wilfully misrepresenting what I’ve written.

Righty ho

I know there’s no legal requirement. That’s my whole point. There should be.

Would that mean that DIY wills would no longer be permitted? Surely this is going to mean that people won't be able to afford wills.

Really? What about people who have almost nothing to leave, which is probably the majority of the population? It seems a ridiculous over-reaction to insist that everyone makes a will, just because some people who really do need one don't get round to it. Your proposal would result in a lot of money for solicitors and will writers to write wills that would replicate what the intestacy laws would have done anyway in many cases.

If the family structure is not simple and there is a lot of money to leave, an individual needs a will that reflects their individual circumstances.

We could do with more public awareness about the legal consequences of getting married or not getting married, making a will or not bothering, when a will needs updating, and so on, but surely personal responsibility comes into this.

Also, some of the people who need wills most are those who live together and become financially dependent on each other but aren't married. It's hard to see how they could be identified and forced to make a will when the whole point of their relationship is that it's unknown to the authorities.

Yes really. People who don’t own property or have savings would have a very quick and clear cut will, wouldn’t they?

I'm not saying that i agree it should be changed. I don't think it needs changing. Like i said, this is why we have instestacy laws.
But in order for what the poster is proposing to happen the whole lot would need an overhaul.
My mum didn't need a will. Small estate way below the threshold and everything in joint names with my dad. There are thousands of people in that situation. The only winners will be the solicitors

Sorry, I didn't mean to say you thought it should be changed and I agree it doesn't. It would just be more money for the solicitors.

I really can't see how you could monitor it and where it would end - regular reviews (more money)? My Mum's will dated back to when I was a baby - I was referred to as the infant child and it discussed who would look after me if both parents died! The solicitors were no longer practicing, one of the executors was dead and the other no longer wanted to do it so I had to be administrator. By the time all this was found out both parents had died. They still had valid wills though.

To be honest, before we get round to stipulating who must have a will and what must be left to who, we need a massive overhaul of the whole will and probate system.

currently it is entirely possible for an unscrupulous executor to keep the whole lot. You can’t see the accounts or where the money is or has gone, because only the executor has access to that information. Yes you can take the legal route to force them, but that costs anywhere between 20-50k plus. The police can’t do anything because you can’t show they have stolen the money or committed a crime without the estate accounting.

most people let it go because there’s a very real chance they’ll spend more on legal fees than they will inherit. And most can’t afford to challenge an executor on principle.

People saying that the only winners if wills were made a legal requirement would be solicitors need to realise that most solicitors make MORE money from dealing with problems arising from dealing with intestacy and dealing with wills that are invalid, and dealing with DIY disputed wills. For a couple of hundred quid a pop, getting a will drawn up and witnessed properly by a solicitor is probably the best bargain you're going to get.

I'd go further and say that in cases where the beneficiaries don't get on then it's probably best to appoint the solicitor as the executor. Again, people will say how expensive it is, but it may well be worth it for peace of mind that it's going to be dealt with properly and fairly and to avoid arguments between the recipients. My MIL died recently, and she'd specifically appointed her solicitor to be executor as my OH and his sister don't see eye to eye on anything - they don't argue as such, but are just very different people, and MIL knew that they wouldn't work well together if joint executors and didn't want to appoint one and not the other - her preference would have actually been me as I've done probate for my parents and have previously done the accounting/tax side of things subcontracting for a local solicitor! OH knew about the solicitor being appointed and was happy with it as he knew the reasons why. But his sister didn't know until death, as MIL purposely didn't tell her because she didn't want the drama, and she was right as his sister hit the roof and has constantly been sniping about it ever since. Perhaps if she'd been less argumentative and more rational, MIL wouldn't have appointed the solicitor instead!!

What a vote winner that will be! We will introduce legislation forcing every adult in the country to make a will, whether they want or need one or not. We will not be paying for the legal advice they should obtain. They will have to pay for it themselves, e.g. by living on value baked beans for a month, or fill in a will form and hope it's valid and has no unintended outcomes. Anybody failing to comply will be fined. Illiteracy, poor health, learning difficulties, poverty and other similar excuses will be ignored.**

Yes. Everything is yours.

It sounds like it is very early days. Wills can wait. My suggestion is that once it’s all over you write them a friendly letter saying that your priority right now is keeping the roof over your children’s’ head on one income, but that you will be making a will and hope to be in a position to make provision for them in that.

Because he then decided to enter into a legally binding contract which included the stipulation of sharing of assets?

You have no idea when he made the will.
It could have been done as part of the divorce as part of a financial plan to exclude his then wife (now ex-wife) from any additional sharing of assets.

I would get a copy of the will and check the date is before your marriage. If so it would be invalid. I would speak to a solicitor with copy of will, marriage certificate and details of all his assets. It should be administered following rules of intestacy. Most will go to you some will probably be split between all children depending on exact size of estate.

Its not about guidance its about the law in the England.
Most countries have rules on the division of assets where the dead person failed to make a valid will.
That is the legal obligation which recognises the contract of marraige (or other legally recognised partner) plus the regulation of divorce ( and its financial settlements).
Plus there is usually some legal obligation to provide for children dependant on their personal circumstance.

The chief danger is if you are married, your partner dies intestate with kids that are not yours, the house is in your partners name and the value of the house is high and the total assets less the house are low. And you are poor.

Then there is a probability that because of the way intestate distributes, it may be difficult to stay in the house as you might have to sell it to fund the payouts to the stepchildren. Then it comes down to whether or not you can get additional distribution (for example if you have kids that will be made homeless).

I think its an unlikely row of ducks to line up, but maybe not so much in places like London where a £1 million house can be pretty commonplace on the back of very low additional assets.

The laws in the UK already providea a will for every adult and child who dies. It details who gets the property.

The fact that people dont agree with the distribution rules or choose not to find out about them is not the fault of the law or the lawmakers.