DH left me NOTHING in his will – devastated and fuming

[jackmd5]

I’m honestly reeling and don’t know what to do. DH of 15 years passed away unexpectedly a few months ago. It’s been a horrible time, and I’ve been dealing with everything – funeral, DC, paperwork, the lot – while also grieving.

I’ve just found out that he left NOTHING to me in his will. Not a penny. Everything has gone to his two DC from his first marriage, who are both adults and very comfortable financially. Our joint savings, the house (which is in his name, long story), even his personal possessions – all left to them. I get that he wanted to provide for them, but to leave me, his WIFE, completely out??! I am beyond hurt and also absolutely panicking because I have no idea where this leaves me financially.

He made the will before we were married, and I stupidly assumed he’d updated it. I trusted him. Never in a million years did I think he’d do this to me. I’ve raised our DC, supported him through thick and thin, and now I’m left with nothing??

I feel sick. I don’t even know where to start with legal stuff – does anyone know if I can challenge this? I can’t believe he’s done this. I thought we had a happy marriage. Just looking at his face in old photos makes me want to scream.

Has anyone been through anything similar? What did you do? I feel so betrayed.

Well yes of course she is. She has two kids under the age of 18yrs who she is now bringing up on her own. Imagine being in that situation just after your husband has died and people now want you to sell your house which you have inherited from your husband because they don't think it's fair that you get to live in it.
She's not freeloading, she's been living in the house for 15yrs and her children have only known it as it there home. We don't even know if the other children have things like mortgages and good jobs that mean the money can be left to them after the op has died, however they are old enough to support themselves.
Being a single parent is tough and I cannot imagine having people suggesting you make yourself homeless after your husband dying.

That's not how the Rule of Intestacy' work if there is definitely no will made by OP's DH after the marriage. Any joint savings and possessions will go to OP, plus the first £322,000. Anything above that amount will be split 50:50 between the surviving spouse (OP) and any biological/adopted children of the deceased. OP's children will receive the same amount as the children from the first marriage.

No that's incorrect. They are under 18yrs so the OP can also claim child support from her husband estate. That's a thing you would cover off in a financial consent order should you ever get divorced or you should do to protect children under 18yrs.

Yes this happens far too often. Children become disinherited and the second wife is rarely fair or generous.

This.

If before marrying you the will is invalid now abd you'd get everything

He hasn't thought about all his offspring though, has he? Younger dc require significant financial support. He has left his wife of 15 years, a newly single mother, without the financial means to support them. As well as a whole lot of stress and additional heartache as she attempts to ensure she and her dc are adequately provided for, whilst likely being called a money grabbing witch. He doesn't sound decent to me.

Not necessarily, there are lots of knowledgeable posts explaining that it depends on the value of the estate.

My god there are some ill informed and downright spiteful people on this thread.
OP has young children, she can will his adult kids a share of HER inheritance if she feels the need, otherwise they’ll have to make do with what they’re legally entitled to.
Applied for Letters yet OP ??

Thankfully my DH doesn't feel that way otherwise I'd be homeless if he died.

Why should adult children, who presumably have their own homes and lives, come above the new partner and in OP's case younger children? DH's will leaves everything to me and vice versa. When the second one of us dies then his children will inherit anything left, split equally with my godchildren.

I suppose the main problem here is OP is a second wife and stepmum ans we all know how they are viewed by some on MN.

What are you even talking about? He clearly wanted his older children to inherit. That’s why he wrote his will that way.

Why should they get nothing just because he remarried?

But why should you / your children get everything- potentially including things that came from their mother?

Will there ever be a time when the children from the first marriage have the same entitlement to the fathers estate as your children, or will they always come down the pecking order?

I also have no idea why in today’s economy you would assume they own a home and aren’t renting?

Because if you outlive your husband, it would be perfectly possible that you don’t include them in your will and your god children inherit everything THEIR DAD intended to leave THEM.

I really think there should be legal obligations regarding making iron clad wills on people remarrying when they have existing children. The current laws are not sufficient

But if all children were from same mother would it not be the norm for the children to inherit property etc after the second parent dies? When my mum died it all went to my dad. When he died it all came to us.

Hard agree

This could easily have been sorted out when he married again by writing a new will.

If you want something to happen after your death you make it clear when you're alive.

I’m pretty sure I stated that I think there should be legal obligations on people to do this rather than guidance.

True, except she is proposing that only her children get the house when she passes on, and that the children from the first marriage get Zero from their fathers estate - which may also include their mothers estate.

It depends. My dad died when I was young, everything went to my mum. There was a lot of money.

mum’s never worked so 30 years later she’s in her 80’s and there’s none left 🤷‍♀️ she’s lived a good life with plenty of luxuries and holidays. The million pound house has been sold, the money gone.

when she dies I may get a few thousand, that’s it.

dh’s parents left all their money to his sister. He got nothing.

my brother remarried. His first wife got everything in the divorce, he walked away with a rucksack after she had an affair. He and his second wife started from scratch, with her providing deposits etc, and facilitating him supporting his kids. Why should she have to give everything to his kids?

nobody is guaranteed money from parents. They can leave their money to whoever the want.

if wives are to be disinherited in favour of kids then that should apply to all marriages.

You can’t guarantee a first wife won’t remarry and leave the house to her new husband either. If she doesn’t make a will that is what happens.

why are we only applying this rule to second wives? Anyone with kids can disinherit them.

We have nothing from their mother so that's will never be an issue (why on earth would we want anything of hers?). We don't have children together, hence me mentioning my godchildren - they are included as it's unfair that his children get everything.

In our case we have a one bedroom flat and selling it to release the money to any of the children would effectively leave the surviving partner homeless as there wouldn't be enough money to buy another home.

I have no intention of leaving his kids out of my will, I wouldn't dream of doing that but I don't think it's unreasonable to want to keep my home while I'm still alive!

I didn't mean it was a guarantee i just meant that if kids are to inherit it's more likely after the second parent dies.
In the case of divorce and remarriage it would be more usual for a new will and them to be named and I'm a case similar to the OP a lifetime interest in the house is usually set up.

Most people write a new will while they get divorced, so that there ex doesn’t inherit from them so yes at the time he probably did write it for that reason and being newly single. I wrote one as soon as I got divorced.

Since then he remarried so presumably he either didn’t know the law (unlikely given he got divorced and wrote a will) or didn’t think he had too due to remarrying.

Are you actually divorced? Have you actually been through this with a solicitor?

“Since then he remarried so presumably he either didn’t know the law (unlikely given he got divorced and wrote a will)”

This is a really ridiculous statement when you have the evidence of this thread to see how few people understand the full complexities of second marriages, exiting children, wills and inheritance.

I've just re read all her posts and i don't actually think that's what she's proposed. She's just finding out what the law says. She's in shock and she's looking at her own children but i can't see anything anywhere that actually says that she'd leave them without a penny

Right. From the person who is arguing that his will should stand up even though he’s got remarried again and didn’t write a new will 🙄