18 year old solo traveler. Would you allow this?

[Pippyls67]

My Ds wants to travel. I’ve never traveled with him. Budget constraints and I’m a very nervous person who has chronic depression and avoids new things . All rather sad for him but I’m glad to say he wants to break out and do it anyway. I have some money saved now and can afford to finance him. AI B U tho to let him go alone. He doesn’t have friends who want to travel at all. Would you say yes or do you think I should insist he goes on an organised young persons type thing instead. I don’t know if any at all though. Does anyone out there have any suggestions? He wants to see and experience things as he’s been terribly sheltered and constrained by me I’m ashamed to say. I’m proud and pleased he wants to grow in confidence himself and live a lot more. What do people think? Any and all advice and suggestions welcome. He loves the idea of Scandinavian countries and also really wants to go to Rome.

The location makes a huge difference to me too. It's Scandinavian countries if they are anything like Iceland they are super friendly and fairly safe.

As someone else said he needs to be careful with money and passport but that's exactly the same for any backpacking holiday.

I think you'll sap his confidence by insisting he goes with a group. Let him plan his own trip.

I'm willing this lad on, Op you've done a great job rasing a boy who has the confidence to travel alone. Don't ruin it.

Let him go alone, those are safe, easy counties to travel in.

I know many young females who have done this alone. They all had a great time and met lots of people from all over the world.
I understand your concerns but let him fly
💐

Your son is an adult all you can do is advise.

My niece had just turned 18 was going to Asia with her friend.
The day before friend broke her leg.
Cue niece going on her own.
Vietnam, Thailand, Korea and onto Australia, new Zealand.
Only organised hotel was for the first night after that it was
youth hostels. Everyone was so friendly she tagged on to
different groups at different stages of the trip.

Ive travelled a lot.
I would suggest to him to join a group tour or expedition for the first week or two and he will meet lots of people and the lay of the land. Its a great way to start a journey :)
Just a week or two then leave it open.

YABU to think you have to allow anything. He's 18 and doesn't need permission.

To me op you give him to money to travel as he pleases or don't give him any at all. To give it with conditions is controlling. He's an adult and can decide what he's comfortable with. I feel claustrophobic just reading this, you're potentially just storing up more issues for him not letting him spread his wings.

How fantastic, good luck to him

Well, then he's not acting like an adult and needs to deal with it.

Jt hw can work and save and go anyway. My DS spent one summer working in language camps in Austria and Italy and then backpacking. Following year went to Thailand. Not sure what he has in mind once he finishes uni this summer

He should look at summer camps in Scandinavia then. They all have them and they usually really want English speakers!

My 18 yo daughter went with her pals interrailing but as she had a job to start, while they were going to uni, she had to leave them, and in Istanbul and had to travel back to London on her own
She did this without mishap including, with the help of a 5 dollar note tucked in her passport, short circuiting immigration controls at the Bulgarian border. This was pre glasnost times and pre mobile days.
I was quite proud of her but my older and slightly wiser self is appalled. A lad should be a lot safer.

Travel is such a privilege and if you can comfortably offer him that opportunity I say 100% do it. He will learn so much - about the world but also about himself. The places you have mentioned are very very safe - he needs travel insurance, a passport, and an understanding of e-sims. Don't send him on an organised tour - there is really no need in the places you've mentioned (where English is widely spoken and the path is well trodden) - you have no idea of the kind of people he might be stuck with.

If he stays in youth hostels he will make friends to hang out with

If he wants to go for a weekend then alone would be fine.

For a longer trip , especially as he's got no experience whatsoever, I would look into some kind of work abroad for young people scheme. Something where he gets accommodation and pocket money and works in exchange. It will be much easier to make new friends in that kind of set up. Travel alone is likely to be lonely and expensive.

Maybe look at holiday rep, seasonal farm work, work in a kids holiday camp, work in a youth hostel or hotel. Or some kind of "voluntourism".

I'd also encourage him to self fund at least half the cost

He's 18, so it's entirely up to him to travel solo or not. It's also not unheard, many 18-year olds would go travelling by themselves. I went solo on a group tour to Thailand at 19 and went to London solo for a week when I was 18 (I lived in The Netherlands at the time). I was going whether my parents agreed or not. I also funded the trips myself, so it's like they could stop me going in terms of finances.

I lived in Oslo as a young single person. My London job had the opportunity for a 12 month placement and so off I trotted. Oslo is lovely, particularly in summer. It's also fairly safe. I used to go out of an evening and meet up with colleagues and travel home alone. I went to concerts. The museums are great. The islands are lovely and the woods around Olso are easily accessible by tube and well signposted for walkers (there are even little cafe's in the woods to buy pancakes and brown cheese and jam). It's EXPENSIVE but I'd recommend it. The drive over the moors from Oslo to Bergen is fab and you see the real remoteness. The trains are good.

I travelled a lot in my youth on my $ and now travel for work on my own all the time. I've done Rome, Paris (a lot recently), various Scandi countries, the US... Google maps is brilliant and means I can easily find my way around. Pickpocketing is the biggest risk. I use Ubers for late night cabs home.

Your son will have a wonderful time, wish him well, travel is wonderful!

This. I used to work in hostels and there were plenty of lone backpackers, especially from Australia and New Zeland who hang out in the common room making friends.

I know you are worried that he has been sheltered more than most, but honestly so many school leavers who travel are similar…lots of those who seem less sheltered are still pretty sheltered when it comes to it. Very good point above about sob stories.

You can't stop him, and shouldn't, but I appreciate it's scary for the parents left behind. I persuaded mine to have a tracker on their phone, Life360 is free and was a comfort. Be enthusiastic, ask for lots of pictures!

I’d encourage him to go on an organised trip, with flexibility to continue the travel afterwards (potentially with new travel mates).

If money isn’t a problem, and he has the time, I thoroughly recommend a Raleigh International expedition. Will be full of young people his age looking to develop themselves and make a contribution in the world.

Or, if that doesn’t seem the right fit, try looking at Much Better Adventures, G Adventures or Intrepid.

I would point him in the direction of Couchsurfing. It's an organised website where reviewed and verified locals offer a couch or spare bed to visitors to their part of the world. You can bring a gift from home or cool them a meal as a thank you but it is a fantastic way to budget travel, meet people and experience what a place is really like. As a female I was always careful to choose hosts who had both male and female guests so I knew they weren't after hook ups, but you would be amazed how much it restores your faith in humanity, how lovely people are. Hosts are all ages between18 and 80. They also do group meet ups in local places which is a great way to socialise.
Experiences I have had:
Stayed in diamond merchants flat in Manhattan
Stayed in artist's flat New Orleans
Went to group meets in Holland and met lifelong friends.
Stayed in house in Paris where host cooked for me
Met up with locals in Hawaii
Hosted people from France, New York and Holland.

It is so much fun. Be selective about who you stay with, good reviews etc. If he prefers to stay in youth hostels it's still worth using Couchsurfers to meet up with locals.