18 year old solo traveler. Would you allow this?

[Pippyls67]

My Ds wants to travel. I’ve never traveled with him. Budget constraints and I’m a very nervous person who has chronic depression and avoids new things . All rather sad for him but I’m glad to say he wants to break out and do it anyway. I have some money saved now and can afford to finance him. AI B U tho to let him go alone. He doesn’t have friends who want to travel at all. Would you say yes or do you think I should insist he goes on an organised young persons type thing instead. I don’t know if any at all though. Does anyone out there have any suggestions? He wants to see and experience things as he’s been terribly sheltered and constrained by me I’m ashamed to say. I’m proud and pleased he wants to grow in confidence himself and live a lot more. What do people think? Any and all advice and suggestions welcome. He loves the idea of Scandinavian countries and also really wants to go to Rome.

Hi, sound like a fantastic idea, one of my biggest regrets is not travelling before a life of responsibility!
I read many of the responses but not all so not sure if this has been mentioned but try this site it’s a specialist site for gap years for young people. www.gap360.com
Good luck to your son.

Ds had a few friends who have done this. He'll be fine aandof not he can come home.

I'm afraid you can't 'insist' on anything. He is 18. You can suggest, guide and support but not insist.

DD and her friends met lots of solo travellers aged 18-20 in the youth hostels they stayed at across Europe. They'd hang out in a big group for a few days then go on to the next place and meet more people, plus others they'd met in p[revious hostels on the trip along the way. It was incredibly sociable and safe.

He’s not planning to go to the arse-end of nowhere. My mum was a worry guts but I don’t think she’d have been too concerned if I was going to travel around Scandinavia.

I went interrailing on my own at 18. Female and no mobile phones then. I had a brilliant time and really grew up a lot. There was an aunt in Rome - I started from there and then carried on travelling. Had a wonderful time!

Mine both had fab times starting off with a company and then heading off either with people from there or alone but more confident as they were set up with a bit of local knowledge and practical things like bank accounts or sims. I think it was gap360 but I would recommend that route tbh.

www.gap360.com this one. Different places and lengths of time.

Let him get on, Scandi countries should be very safe for solo travel. He might need to be a bit more switched on in Rome, but still no reason not to encourage him on his adventure.

That sounds so wonderful!

Is he a student? I worked and travelled with BUNAC at about his age

Wow there are some pretty harsh comments on here! I would be nervous if my son wanted to go off alone, I have to say. Even though he’s 18 he’s only just an adult. I think I’d prefer if it was my son that he went with someone or did an organised volunteering type thing. There are several organisations that do that kind of thing. Good luck OP with it all.

In your shoes my anxiety would have me shitting myself but you must let him fly. Give him the money and let him have his own adventure.

"give him the money" really? Give your child money to go off on a trip that you are not really happy with because a) your child is a young boy. He may be 18 but he is immature and naive. b) he needs to fund himself. c) entitlement of children to use their parents' money is off the wall.

Agreed. I feel like I'm on another planet here. 18 is exactly the age when my children's holidays/travel become theirs to pay for, not mine. I may throw them a few bob to pay for a specific thing but some of the suggestions here would run to many many thousands. In what sense has a young person 'earned' any entitlement to travel? If I were spending that amount of MY money on travel, I'd want to be there! OK, the OP feels she has perhaps underspent as such in so far as she hasn't spent much money on holidays over the years but she was never under any obligation to do so. I think some people have lost the plot when it comes to holidays and put them almost at a level of feeding and clothing their children. But holidays are entirely discretionary.

I think a lot of the comments on here are from parents with younger children, who imagine that at 18 you're a fully fledged adult.

In my experience, boys in particular can be quite immature and inexperienced.

I'd try to plan an itinerary with him, possibly using hostels that have individual rooms for a start. As he progresses he may meet others to travel with or become more confident in sharing. In fact booking accommodation for the first few days might be a sensible move.

A tracker on his phone may also help to give him confidence (for his benefit obviously).

Joining social media groups for young travellers may be helpful in advance.

Make him aware of the types of scams that can befall him (particularly offering cheap accommodation).

I hope he has a great time - and try not to worry!

A lot of the comments are from people who can remember what it was like to be 18 and/or whose children are older than that @ChorusOfDisapproval. it’s relatively recently that infantilisation of teenagers has happened. It’s not a good thing, it’s one of the reasons so many are afraid to leave their bedrooms.

I think there is a line between helping him plan the trip, ie making sure he has accommodation booked and some idea of how he's getting from one place to another.

And completely controlling his trip by insisting he goes with some sort of organisation.

He's obviously been planning the trip as he's learning the language. He must have ideas of where he wants to see.

We live in the days of mobile phones and WiFi. So much information at his fingertips. And they are fairly safe countries.

We all want our kids to grow into confident young adults. And nothing is more confidence boosting than by travelling independently.
At the end of summer he could easily be living semi-independently at Uni.

What are people actually worried about that could go wrong?

"Nothing is more confidence boosting than travelling independently". I have an 18 year old and while he has travelled independently, by far the most genuinely confidence boosting thing he has done is get a job by himself and do well at it, to have earned the respect and trust of men in their 40s with life experience. Travel is great, don't get me wrong but at the end of the day it's light and superficial and low stakes. To have done a tough 8 hour shift and done well, that builds real confidence and self-esteem. I have gone on some very nice trips, where things went wrong or where things were occasionally tough but at the end of the day, it's a fecking holiday. I take no pride in my ability to have gone on one and 'survived' 🙄. Much of this discussion is underpinned by vast levels of privilege and entitlement.

Advise him not to carry any package/parcel for anyone under any circumstances and not to listen to any sob story. Obviously be very careful with his money.

Good for him! Please don’t try to burden him with your anxieties -poor kid. Let him fly.

It is a good exercise in budgeting as some countries are more expensive than others. Sometimes organised tours are really overpriced by the big companies. Find a local travel agent to work with.

The whole point in a young, naive adult going travelling is so that they are far less naive when they get back. You can’t teach life experience.

Some people are falling just short of suggesting the OP micro manage his whole trip!

Agreed, and going on an organised tour is probably micro managing.

One issue with an organised thing is your stuck with the same people which is an issue if they aren't your type. Where travelling alone he'll meet different people in different places