18 year old solo traveler. Would you allow this?

[Pippyls67]

My Ds wants to travel. I’ve never traveled with him. Budget constraints and I’m a very nervous person who has chronic depression and avoids new things . All rather sad for him but I’m glad to say he wants to break out and do it anyway. I have some money saved now and can afford to finance him. AI B U tho to let him go alone. He doesn’t have friends who want to travel at all. Would you say yes or do you think I should insist he goes on an organised young persons type thing instead. I don’t know if any at all though. Does anyone out there have any suggestions? He wants to see and experience things as he’s been terribly sheltered and constrained by me I’m ashamed to say. I’m proud and pleased he wants to grow in confidence himself and live a lot more. What do people think? Any and all advice and suggestions welcome. He loves the idea of Scandinavian countries and also really wants to go to Rome.

You could Google "young person tour groups" or something? There are lots out there.

I went backpacking for the first time in my 40s. Even as an "oldie", I found it comforting to discover that nearly everyone looks out for each other and will share tips and hints on places; where to pre-book, where to avoid, off the beaten track places to explore etc.. He won't be alone for all of it unless he really wants to be.

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He’s at college. He’s shy and has a friend and girlfriend but to be honest I blame myself that he’s socially limited too. I never socialise and he was bullied at school because he was shy. Anyway the girlfriend and friend have their own things organised this summer with family. He’s at a loose end after exams and wants not travel to improve his confidence and his outlook on life and the world before hopefully getting into Uni - which will be away from his home area.

This sounds brilliant. They are all safe countries less than 2 hours flight from here. Many teenagers go backpacking around Thailand etc. After the structure of school it's good for them to have some freedom to help them discover more about themselves.
Saying that, it can be lonely at times, so depends on his personality, is he happy doing his own thing, or does he like being with others much of the time? If the later, I wouod suggest he signs up for a short tour, and then may meet people to carry on travelling with. There are loads of companies, I used GAP, Intrepid traveller, but there are loads. Try to avoid Contiki.

Nowadays, it's so easy to keep in contact, when I was travelling in 2004-2008 (6 months travel, 6 months home to work and then travel....) my parents had to make do with an email every few days from an Internet cafe, calls home were incredibly expensive from India, Nepal, psrts of Africa, Australia, new Zealand, south America, all over SE Asia. I'm sure they worried but they never tried to hold me back, which I am grateful for. Seeing the world is really important.

You need to let him go - the more you restrict and control, the more harm you will do - both to him as a person and to your relationship with him as a young adult.

He's eighteen years old - you have to let him be.

If you're financing it I'd steer him towards organised trips. If he's been really sheltered and has no friends I'd be concerned that he might be quite naive/easily taken advantage of.

There are organised backpacking trips specifically geared towards younger people that he might enjoy? He'd be unlikely to be the only solo traveler and could make friends with others on the trip.

I would second the suggestion to start off with Rome and find a hostel to stay in - that way he’s likely to meet other young travellers. Tickets for travel in Italy can be booked online ( ie Trainline) and entry into museums etc can be bought on apps like Get Your Guide although obviously he might just prefer to wing it rather than pre booking. The joy of modern banking is the knowledge you can send money to him easily should it ever be an issue. No having to hang around western Union offices.

I'd allow it. I think organised tours this age are very boozy. If he stays in youth hostels he will meet people and get into groups. He is starting out in very safe countries so will be fine. Like pp said I'd let him go but would get him to do an itinerary and a back up plan so he knows what to do if he looses his cash, phone, wallet, passport etc, knows what number to call in an emergency etc. There will be plenty of tips online

My daughter was 18. Travelled to the other side of the world and toured around. When she first raised her interest in travelling (on her own, but meeting with friends for a few weeks of the 3 months), I was so worried, But, she had to start living her adult life, not as my minor child. So we spoke (lots of times) about safety and I waved her off. She had a great time, she returned safely - and I did what my parents didn’t do, encouraged her to experience life not just be a spectator.

What are his plans OP? Obviously you can veto it all, by just not paying. It's sounds like a good idea though, if he is sensible.
If he plans to go interailing -fab. If he plans motorbiking through Iran, keep your money well away from him.

Hi OP. I went travelling after uni for a few months before starting proper working life, my friends had already done their gap year or summer travelling before uni or some didn't want to travel so I booked with a group called kumuka. I would really recommend an organised trip as it took the worry away from me booking accommodation and feeling stranded or getting lost ! It suited me. It also meant I saw a lot more and travelled further than had I been doing it alone as the itinerary was packed. I made good friends and loved the social side of it.

We travelled through Bolivia, Chile, Ecuador and Peru on an old army truck. I loved it all.

Kumuka don't exist anymore, but there are lots of companies that do group travel trips.

It's perfectly safe. He can stay at hostels and make travelling friends that way. I did it throughout my late teens and 20s, it was great. I hope he has a good time 😁

If he's never even been on holiday before I would start with a long weekend in Rome, treat him to a holiday, maybe him and his girlfriend, straight after exams - the phrase "travelling," carries different connotations than just going on holiday. People go away all the time, he can just go away without it being summer plans and overthought.

The lack of travel isn't his only limitation. A great summer to prepare for Uni could also include working in a bar or something to widen his social circle and skills and life experience. So a month working in a bar then two weeks in Denmark and Sweden - that sort of balance.

I think going from a very sheltered life with no holidays at all, to trying to navigate three months backpacking will be overwhelming and a bit lonely - the groundwork has not been laid for him to really get into it.

What about a cruise, he’d be able to visit several places in one trip with the stability of a ship… wouldn’t have to pack and unpack, worry about getting from one place to the next and could do organised excursions too if he wanted.

It depends how generally capable and competent he is, but if he's never travelled before, it might be sensible to start off in an organised group.

Camp America and similar programs are a good way to earn a little money to pay for the travel, and experience life abroad but with some organisational back-up.

I think it’s fine that he wants to go alone. Don’t try to further restrict him. Help him plan and discuss how he will keep safe on the trip. I’d be reassured that he’s looking at European travel for his first solo trip, rather than the far east or South America.

My son went traveling alone at 18 for 3 months went again at 19 and met is now husband while back packing in cuba both from the same area but met there we all say it was meant to be.
They flew home together it gets strange because his parents live in the next street to us whats the odds of meeting you husband thousands of miles away yet you both grow up in the same town and still live there.
Sorry folks i love romance.
Its more of how grown up they are how mature they are my son was sensible not all the time he was no angle but he was sensible most of the time.

He will be fine. Scandinavia and Italy are no more dangerous than the UK. I assume your son will use common sense and follow standard safety advice. I have travelled alone in far more perilous countries.

https://www.abta.com/tips-and-advice/staying-safe-on-holiday/advice-for-young-holidaymakers

I hope you recognise that you should have no say in this whatsoever. He's an adult and shouldn't be told what to do by his mum!

This is not the way to build independence your child. He should save the money - obviously - that is part and parcel of showing he is responsible enough to go. Put your money in a LISA to grow for his future and help him get a job now is my advice!

Has he done research about where he wants to go, read up on customs, things of interest, where is dangerous etc? He should be at least reading travel forums If not trying to chat to people who've been to these places or are there now.

If he's staying in backpacker type hostels then he's bound to make some friends. There are plenty of solo travellers on that scene.

I'd say it can only do him good. He'll get to experience new things and will learn a lot.
If it goes tits up he can always just come home.

But if he's going away for months rather than weeks he should try and earn his own money somehow along the way.

https://www.smartraveller.gov.au/news-and-updates/safety-tips-solo-travellers

If the OP would be paying, it still is her choice.