18 year old solo traveler. Would you allow this?

[Pippyls67]

My Ds wants to travel. I’ve never traveled with him. Budget constraints and I’m a very nervous person who has chronic depression and avoids new things . All rather sad for him but I’m glad to say he wants to break out and do it anyway. I have some money saved now and can afford to finance him. AI B U tho to let him go alone. He doesn’t have friends who want to travel at all. Would you say yes or do you think I should insist he goes on an organised young persons type thing instead. I don’t know if any at all though. Does anyone out there have any suggestions? He wants to see and experience things as he’s been terribly sheltered and constrained by me I’m ashamed to say. I’m proud and pleased he wants to grow in confidence himself and live a lot more. What do people think? Any and all advice and suggestions welcome. He loves the idea of Scandinavian countries and also really wants to go to Rome.

My mom has anxiety, passed it to me and I’m passing it to my sons despite best efforts not to.

One of the things I am most grateful to my mom for is not letting her anxiety stop me from travelling when I was ready. I took all her cautious thinking with me - I was a very careful traveller - but being all round the world on my own changed the course of my life for the better. I was in Chile, India, China, South Africa. It’s a big world and I was a young woman on her own and I was absolutely fine.

Time to let your boy fly, with your blessing. He will thank you for keeping your anxiety your own to the greatest extent possible as he goes.

Getting a job would increase confidence and get some experience of real life before uni.

I'd let him travel alone. Youth Hostels are great places to meet other people.
Encourage him to spread his wings and fly.

He's not going to be a zillion miles away, so could get back if he needs to. I would probably pay the premium for tickets that can be changed if he wants to stay a bit longer or if he's lonely and wants to come home.

Any sort of organisation tour will be much more expensive and likely to be a much older generation.

Wish him a happy holiday. I do wish I'd traveled more alone when I was young. I either didn't have the confidence or the money to do it.

This would definitely be him! He’s extremely kind hearted. So thanks for the good advice.

He s worked part time in a kitchens as well as doing A levels.

Where is he hoping to travel? That is relevant.

You can’t get more civilised than the Scandinavian countries. I think you could say that if he were to initially get a job in the UK and save £x then you would match that sum. I wouldn’t be fully funding it.

As I said before, he's too immature and vulnerable.

Let him go! My son took a gap year and travelled for five months and really came out of his shell. The best thing he did was teaching in Thailand for two months through Gotoco. They paid airfare, accommodation and food. We know quite a few people who’ve travelled with them and they all had a great time including young female solo travellers. https://www.go-to.co

That looks great.

Personally I'd suggest you offer to pay for him to go on an organised group trip to start him off. My DC does these and they're fantastic, an excellent soft launch into travelling where he could meet new people and find his feet. Some of the trips are a month long. When he'd done that he could have a plan A to continue travelling if he enjoyed it, or a plan B to come home.

Honestly he’ll be fine. Just get insurance and drum it into him about pickpockets and looking after his stuff. My DC went to South America alone at 18. I was cacking it but they had an amazing time and came back so much more mature and confident.

What do you mean would you allow it, OP?

He is 18 and you don't get any say in anything like this anymore. Deal with it.

Love how people offer helpful advice without reading the OP and updates.

Let him go. Just check insurance and tell him to be careful of pick pockets in Rome, just as he woukd in any major UK city.

I haven't rtft. I would suggest he does a short trip in the UK to get used to public transport and hostels. Then head for Rome - the trains in Italy are quite cheap so using the interrail ticket isn't always the cheapest option. Explain that he can meet and chat to other young people in hostels. Tell him most people are nice but some are not and so to have good boundaries - if it sounds too good to be true it probably is, always make sure you know how to make your own way back from anywhere you go, learn how to say no, don't engage with street hustlers, don't get incapacitated by drink and drugs - and to have a fabulous time. Having money added to a Monzo card or Revolut can be useful for traveling. Make sure he buys travel insurance. My dds met several girls solo travelling when they went with friends, and plenty of boys doing the same. Hostels in Europe can be expensive. Very cheap in Malaysia and Thailand apart from the air fare if he fancies that.

I did a budget expedition tour in South America when I travelled alone. It was all organised and I met loads of great people who were similar ages and also solo travellers. I also did some travelling alone and didn’t enjoy it as much and found it really difficult and lonely.

He could easily look up a low cost tour. The more expensive tours tend to be less social as they’re aimed at older people wanting to stay in hotels rather than camping or staying in hostels on the route.

He said he’d certainly like to try skiing. He’s actually been teaching himself Norwegian for the last year! He thinks Scandinavia is fabulous and hopes to maybe study abroad in Sweden when he’s at Uni. Hes really keen to see as much of Europe as he can actually. He’s so sheltered I think it naturally all seems fabulously thrilling. I’m relieved and proud he has this positive outlook. It’s all down to him. The posts here are helping a lot to enable me to see this with better perspective.

Talk it through with him, but if he thinks he would prefer to travel by himself then there is no reason why he shouldn't go for it. Group travel is definitely not for everyone (and the likes of Intrepid are quite expensive compared to independent travel) and most of Europe is pretty safe and easy to travel in. If he stays in youth hostels etc then it is very easy to meet people to spend some time with if he wishes. I travelled around the US by myself when I was 19 without any experience of indpendent travel - just simple holidays with my parents. Stayed in youth hostels, had a great time. And it was much harder in those days without mobile phones! I just wished I'd brought my glasses with me (too vain) as I had trouble reading the departure boards in stations and aiports, which was bit of an obstacle!! Scandinavia is notoriously expensive though. He might want to consider other cheaper parts of Europe.

This. He’s not planning to go anywhere dangerous, those are very safe destinations.

My DS went to Japan at 19 but he did meet friends while he was out there - its never been easier or safer tbh to travel alone. The fact that he’ll have a phone so can contact you or emergency services at the touch of a button, has translation in his hand at all times, can find and book travel and accommodation instantly, and transfer money etc. he’ll be absolutely fine. What a great character building and confidence boosting opportunity for him. Try not to let your very natural fear and worry come across, allow him to be excited about it and help him plan what he wants to do. He’ll leave as a boy and come back as a young man!

I think you need to let him go, giving him all the support you can in terms of gathering information, planning, safety, etc. Good on him for having the confidence to take this opportunity. Keep the lines of communication wide open.

Exactly! I thought you were going to say he is going somewhere very remote and dangerous. Scandi countries are super safe, friendly, clean. He will have a brilliant time! I don’t know why you are so worried, he will meet others in the hostel in no time. And learn a lot and definitely gain confidence.
teachint himself norwegian? That’s amazing, he sounds clever with interesting hobbies.

Rome is fantastic too, obviously has pickpockets but no more dangerous than London! Millions of tourists in Rome every year!

@Pippyls67 My niece and nephews use Contiki to travel Europe , they all survived

These are great countries with good healthcare, facilities etc. He just needs to be super careful with his valuables - phone / wallet / passport.