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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think it is obvious that you are roasting the chicken...

181 replies

Neverenoughbiscuits · 09/03/2025 18:13

DH and I both been out with different DC today. Had a discussion in the middle of the day around what we were having for dinner (Chicken Caesar salad with diced roast potatoes). Likelihood was that he'd be home first and would get dinner on.

We have a whole chicken (no other chicken) in the fridge for the salad. He sent me a message asking if he "should roast the chicken". I didn't see the message so have just spoken to him and apparently he was waiting for me to reply so hasn't put the chicken on. Given that we have no other chicken and he is aware of what we were having, AIBU to assume that it was bloody obvious what to do with the chicken and that he didn't need me to tell him?

I'm pretty grumpy that we're going to eat really late and he's having a strop because I asked him if he thought we'd be eating it raw.

OP posts:
Snugglemonkey · 09/03/2025 21:20

PrincessAnne5Eva · 09/03/2025 18:17

I think it's weird that the first thing you'd do with a full roast chicken is wait for it to cool down, chop some of it up and put it in a salad. I can see why he was confused. I've never roasted a whole chicken and not made a roast dinner with the first meal. It's a lot of chicken to cook for just chucking on a salad.

So I'm not sure that I'd be annoyed at him as it's so unusual.

I'm sure plenty will be along to tell you LTB weaponised incompetence etc though.

Why would you cool it down? Warm chicken in salad is delicious.

Isittimeformynapyet · 09/03/2025 21:22

"there's no reason why spag bol .......... can't be made with chicken" @Semiramide

Oh, there is!

It would, quite simply, NOT be Bolognese. It would be spaghetti with chicken.

Playing fast and loose with food names is very unreasonable. You wouldn't make salmon en croute with pork fillet would you?

crumblingschools · 09/03/2025 21:27

Don’t think I have ever had warm chicken in a chicken Caesar salad

soupyspoon · 09/03/2025 21:27

Isittimeformynapyet · 09/03/2025 21:22

"there's no reason why spag bol .......... can't be made with chicken" @Semiramide

Oh, there is!

It would, quite simply, NOT be Bolognese. It would be spaghetti with chicken.

Playing fast and loose with food names is very unreasonable. You wouldn't make salmon en croute with pork fillet would you?

Spaghetti bolognese is playing fast and loose with food names. Its not a bolognese sauce that anyone from Bologna would recognise.

Therefore you can put what you like in it, like when people bulk it out with lentils.

rainbowunicorn · 09/03/2025 21:29

There are some very strange responses on this thread. I can't believe so many people are having difficulty with the concept of roasting a chicken unless its for a roast dinner. It is a perfectly normal thing to do. It is really quite funny that so many people are so rigid in their ideas around food that they can't begin to comprehend something different to what they do.

Talipesmum · 09/03/2025 21:29

If my DH had bought a whole chicken for the purposes of chicken Caesar salad, and I was the one making it, I’d definitely be texting him to check if it was that that was intended for the salad or something else. He would be doing the same if the other way round. Reason being, we’d both be thinking that the whole chicken was planned for something else, ie a meal where most of it was served at once. And wondering if we’d screw up by using it for the wrong thing, and perhaps the intended chicken needed defrosting, or had been forgotten in the shop.

The difference with us both vs your DH is that we wouldn’t just do nothing if it was going to make dinner late. We’d either go out and buy more chicken, or decide to roast it up anyway with aim to replace if that was wrong. Or we’d just be fine with eating later too, unless it was going to screw up the evening.

Firsttimetrier · 09/03/2025 21:30

Neverenoughbiscuits · 09/03/2025 18:21

We'll have the leftovers in something tomorrow. I only buy good quality chicken so it's often cheaper to get a whole corn fed one than it is to buy the same amount of chicken already split into portions.

We do this and I don’t think it’s that strange! A whole roasted chicken gives us enough leftovers for other things too.

Isittimeformynapyet · 09/03/2025 21:32

soupyspoon · 09/03/2025 21:27

Spaghetti bolognese is playing fast and loose with food names. Its not a bolognese sauce that anyone from Bologna would recognise.

Therefore you can put what you like in it, like when people bulk it out with lentils.

Show quote history

You're right of course, but I'm a purist. I've seen Italians argue on MN over what constitutes a true Bolognese, but at least they all agreed on one thing - it's not chicken!

Anyway, we digress...

ShinyAppleDreamingOfTheSea · 09/03/2025 21:32

If the plan was for a chicken Caesar salad I would expect there to be left over cold chicken somewhere, not that you would roast a fresh chicken and have it cold - with roast potatoes ? Sorry, but that's an odd meal all round, nothing obvious about it at all.

BunnyLake · 09/03/2025 21:33

Caesar salad is for left over chicken or fillets. Whole roast chicken is for any dish that requires gravy. Well in my world anyway.

ButFirstCovfefe · 09/03/2025 21:36

It depends. Whose idea was the Caesar salad? My DH would be happy to get on with it if it was planned together or his idea, but if he thought I might have a different plan for the whole chicken (roasting a whole one and not having it from left overs would be odd for us) then he might not want to cook it.

I’d hope he’d take the initiative but if he didn’t then it’d be because he’s so caring and not from being obtuse. I’d take a deep breath, put the chicken on and make sure in the future I was clearer/we’d discussed it better.

But just to add, just because a chicken is corn fed doesn’t make it high welfare. “Corn fed” is to make it taste better to us, and has zero bearing on how the chicken is brought up, just what it’s fed. Chickens are omnivores…I’d care less about the corn and more about the insects they get to eat 🤷‍♀️

Lovelysausagedogscrumpy · 09/03/2025 21:37

Talipesmum · 09/03/2025 21:29

If my DH had bought a whole chicken for the purposes of chicken Caesar salad, and I was the one making it, I’d definitely be texting him to check if it was that that was intended for the salad or something else. He would be doing the same if the other way round. Reason being, we’d both be thinking that the whole chicken was planned for something else, ie a meal where most of it was served at once. And wondering if we’d screw up by using it for the wrong thing, and perhaps the intended chicken needed defrosting, or had been forgotten in the shop.

The difference with us both vs your DH is that we wouldn’t just do nothing if it was going to make dinner late. We’d either go out and buy more chicken, or decide to roast it up anyway with aim to replace if that was wrong. Or we’d just be fine with eating later too, unless it was going to screw up the evening.

I’d have chickened out by now !!

Ottersmith · 09/03/2025 22:04

Yes he should have taken the initiative. Very annoying.

Popettypop · 09/03/2025 22:08

mintchocolatecoffee · 09/03/2025 18:18

Yes, this. Very odd.

Show quote history

We have this meal often but we call it roast salad.

Roast chicken (The whole bird), roast potato and heaps of salad, coleslaw beets and summer veg and salad cream or mayo. It's the best honest.

Do this in summer Sundays with all joints of meat bar lamb.

Crazybaby123 · 09/03/2025 22:28

Both me and my DH would need specific instruction on the chicken, who will be roasting it and when to ensure there was dinner available.

LondonFox · 09/03/2025 22:40

In the best possible way: get a divorce.
In 5 years you will post here about your soon to be ex dh who ran away with some dumb girl.
Probably the one who managed to text him back or give clearer instructiona in the first place ;)

On serious note, would I roast a whole chicken for salad and save leftovers? Maybe.
Would I expect my DH to read my mind and do that? Obviously not lol.
Most men function in compartments:
Cesar salad? Chicken breast.
Whole chicken? Not cesar salad.
Chicken for salad not found.

NewishBroom · 09/03/2025 22:52

He was too chicken to cook the chicken

beencaughttrollin · 09/03/2025 23:05

If the two of you share meal planning and cooking and he was involved in deciding to get a whole chicken and use part of it for a salad for Sunday dinner, then he was being really odd and I'd wonder why.

If it was your idea to have the chicken Caesar and you asked him to prep, then I can understand his being unsure. But at some point he probably should have logged into MN and posted "I've been asked to prep dinner tonight and it's chicken Caesar salad; I've just seen the chicken and it's whole and raw!!! AIBU to roast it?" Or he could have looked at the chicken while the two of you were both home/when you had the original conversation and asked any questions he had then.

Semiramide · 10/03/2025 00:07

arethereanyleftatall · 09/03/2025 21:15

I'm guessing the mayo is to add to the anchovies, garlic, Parmesan and white wine vinegar to make the Caesar dressing. Not to just use as mayonnaise.

Show quote history

Well yes, if one is making Caesar salad, that's how it's done. However, if I'm making it, the mayo would be home made (unless I am in mad rush). Literally takes 2-3 minutes and definitely worth the effort.

Toastandbutterand · 10/03/2025 01:53

Last week I cooked a whole roast chicken and we had it hot with a cold Caesar salad and warm baguettes.

Is it that odd? We had this loads when I was a kid in the summer. What about nandos? Is it ok to do chicken and chips it is that weird too?
I never knew about this 'it must be a full riast' etiquette.

Anyway, I'm sure you've sorted it by now op, I hope it tasted good whenever you got to eat it.

arethereanyleftatall · 10/03/2025 08:03

It's not remotely odd @Toastandbutterand

A roasted whole chicken for me is the best chicken. Tastiest, most versatile, easiest, best value. And you get the carcass to make stock with.

So I would use a roasted chicken for every recipe I'm going to use chicken in. Salads, roasts, fajitas, chicken and chips, stir fries, whatever, everything.

This is what I like about mumnset, so many people doing things so differently to what I would consider obvious/normal. Blown away on this thread by the amount of people who have only ever had a roast chicken if they're having a roast dinner.

IbizaToTheNorfolkBroads · 10/03/2025 08:12

I think, if the meal was chicken salad, I'd be looking for cold roast chicken, rather than fresh, uncooked chicken.

In a similar vein to the OP, DH rang me late pm when he knew I'd be working late, to ask what was for dinner. I told him "roast chicken". I got home to... a roast chicken. No veg, no salad, no potatoes, no rice.... no veggie alternative for me.. nothing. Just a chicken. Like he'd never eaten a meal involving roast chicken ever before.

soupyspoon · 10/03/2025 08:16

But how do you think the cold roast chicken gets there in the first place (notwithstanding that chicken in a salad should be warm in my view)

The chicken gets roasted in the first place

I asked earlier in the thread what people are using for chicken in their salads if not cooking up a chicken first? Pre cooked chicken?

Starlight7080 · 10/03/2025 08:20

I would be really annoyed. It's just common sense.
Especially if it was 6 and the chicken still needed to be cooked.
What time do you normally eat?
My kids want something around 6/7 latest otherwise they just snack.
So main meal around 8/9 just doesn't work for us.

crumblingschools · 10/03/2025 08:33

We only use a whole chicken for a Sunday Roast in this house. Would buy chicken breasts or thighs for any other chicken recipe, unless using up leftover roast chicken. Never had warm chicken on a salad, would use cold leftovers from a roast or buy pre cooked (I am the only one who really eats salad in this house so a whole chicken for that would be a waste!)