If you grew up poor do you ever miss it?

[Fstt1978]

This is a weird one. I grew up very poor , generational benefits, insecure housing etc.
I'm now firmly middle class to anyone looking in , and I'm probably romanticising it, but sometimes I find myself missing the simplicity of my other life. It's hard to talk about as it's very crass, and I have a lovely secure life now, but sometimes the choice of everything is overwhelming. Can anyone relate? I do not wnat to come over as tone deaf or entitled etc but I do find the class jump hard.

No.

I don't miss growing up poor, when there was ice on the inside of the windows, or any other romanticised stuff like that

Can I ask what you mean by the choice of everything now?

Why don’t you pick the ‘live simply’ choice?

It sounds like you’re romanticising your childhood/memories more than anything. It’s completely different being poor when you’re an adult - you’re hyper aware of it, you’re getting calls about unpaid bills, you’re worried about the electric turning off etc.

I know what you mean OP.

what you miss is the simplicity of being a child in that situation, no choices everything understood,

you aren’t missing the adult worries because they weren’t yours at the time.

I’ve never grown up poor but my parents did.

they came from what was essentially a slum in Glasgow in the 40s/50s. I don’t know if they miss it and they talk about how hard times were but also how good the people were and the sense of community that they don’t have now.

ive maybe not answered your question and I’ll likely get my arse handed to me on a plate for using the word “slum” but that’s what they use and where they were born had slum clearances.

I know what you mean. anything you did get was more appreciated too.

I sometimes feel this way. But, tbh, it then occurs to me: I was younger then, so both less aware and more tough. And also: it was easier being poor in the 1980s and 90s than it is now. And, most important: what I miss is not really the being poor, it's the being less trapped, toed down, etc

I think the live simply thing is a good idea. I feel like I'm in a group of friends always trying the next coffee shop or wine bar. In my old life it was "come to mine for a cuppa"
I don't think I'm.going to be able to articulate myself properly on here, without sounding like a dick. I just feel like I'm.in the wrong life sometimes

• tied down (though I did also toe the line

No, I hated it. No holidays, no treats, my mother constantly stressing about money, feeling guilty about every little expense... I'm financially comfortable now and I never take it for granted.

It's not only coffee shops obviously, I've just picked one example

Hell no. My parents made the best of it but dad worked all the hours to provide.

I do agree about the being younger thing with no responsibility. That plays in to it I suppose.
I just felt calmer generally. I also think.no social media/Internet meant I had a smaller frame of reference

I don’t miss it, but when I go back to my hometown (which is awfully deprived and depressing) I feel at home in a comforting, nostalgic way. I don’t know why because I’d hate to live there again, but at the same time just love being there. I guess I feel like my authentic self there, whereas I feel like a pretender in the leafy, affluent suburb where I live now.

Oh my god I get this 100%
I feel exactly the same. My hometown is deprived/rough area and yet I feel totally myself there. I live in a gorgeous place, safe and calm. But it's like it's an alternate life , not my real one

We weren't poor, but didn't have extra money.

No, I don't miss it. I've learned to have enough money to pay unexpected bills & giving my kids opportunities outweighs the complication of managing it all. One of DH's most vivid memories was bursting into tears in primary school when asked why he was the only one not going on school camp 'because we're poor, miss'.

It might be nostalgic, but I suspect your view is more about the simplicity of childhood, not being the one to put food on the table & pay bills.

We do live a simple life though. No wine bars or fancy cars. We live in a working class sunburb. We travel but that's about all. It means others do down on us, but hey, we just make our own choices.

No. Like really, really no. I don’t miss not being able to afford toothpaste or having to use dish soap as shampoo and body wash or my school meals being the only meals I ate during the week or going to bed wearing multiple layers and wrapping myself in a paper thin duvet because we couldn’t afford to use the gas through the night. Or or or or.

I don’t have a way to romanticise our poverty, don’t get me wrong I absolutely loved my childhood and my parents both worked 2 jobs each, but they had 5 kids in a town with a failing industry that was being outsourced to other countries. But we were below the poverty line for most of my childhood, it only started to change as I reached my teens, I didn’t get to “celebrate” birthday until then. So yeah, no lol.

Agree with @Vargas.
Grew up with very little in the 70s, no heating when money was short, iced up windows, living off soup etc. We had no options and no choices.
I still don't take those options for granted and appreciate being able to choose where I shop and what I buy.
Having a car, the bills paid and a well stocked fridge mean security and happiness for me.
Growing up poor never leaves you.

No, I don’t miss not growing up without heating and not enough food.

OP you might feel very different if you’d stayed in your hometown, even if you now have money. If you saw from the adult perspective the lifestyle of those in your parents position, old school friends having the struggles that were hidden from you as a child. it’s possibly not being poor you are missing but hometown culture as well.

Yes interesting point here about the culture
On our estate, we would be in and out of each other houses, with all back doors open etc here it's much more solitary

The only thing I'd say is that I grew up in a flat and now live in a house with a garden

I miss flat living and if I had the choice, would move back to a flat

Hate traipsing up and down the stairs every day, it's colder so we spend the winter in my bedroom

It's a lovely home but I'm a city girl at heart, so yeah I miss that aspect. But nothing else 😭😭

God no.I grew up in a house where we could not really afford any heating. I have memories of coming down to a sink where the washing up was frozen and ice on the inside of our very old windows. Food was in short supply and we could not afford school trips or holidays. As a result my interests had to be quite narrow until I left home. Other kids got to do all kinds of things. We could not. It may be true that money does not by itself make you happy. But I can also with certainty say that poverty makes you sad.

I was talking to a friend about this. She grew up in social housing, her dad was a labourer, big family etc. Now her life is middle class. She feels sorry for her children as she says as kids they had such a laugh running around the estate.

I remember reading an article a few years ago about class jumping and how it felt like being an immigrant but culturally. It's always stuck with me.

Nope.

It does make me appreciate things like central heating, being able to buy new clothes, and eating what I want. But actually I choose to live simply - I buy almost all my clothes second-hand, eat seasonally and try to be economical with fuel.

I love being able to go out and buy a coffee if I feel like it, and knowing that if it’s cold I can turn the heating on again (or I can choose to put another jumper on). It’s your life, live it the way you want to.