Swinging teachers

[Saintsfan7]

Interested to read some opinions on this. Someone we know has found out that a teacher at their child's school is a swinger. This person is aghast about this and wants to report the teacher (not sure what for) and is refusing to let them teach their child.
My attitude is that as long as it doesn't affect their work (whichbit clearly isnt) then what the teacher chooses to do in their private time is their business and their business only. ATBU?

A parent once told me that her and her husband were swingers. 😳😂 I heard a rumour about one colleague swinging at a school I worked in too. That school was rife though, some of these posters would have a heart attack if they knew the half of it. Numerous affairs, shagging on school premises and post staff do threesomes. Did it affect any of their abilities to do their jobs? Absolutely not.

We’ve got it in our front garden and don’t care about the connotation. So far no-one has turned up at our door expecting sex! Could easily believe the previous owner was a swinger though….. 😬

What’s the pineapple thing @Matsukaze? I’ve never heard of that! Eeek I have some socks with pineapples on them 😂

Upside down pineapples are a swinging emblem for some reason

Yes, the upside down pineapple is the symbol recognition. 🍍
I binned my pineapple beach towel.

I work in Education and am interested to know how exactly your friend is "refusing" to let this Teacher teach her child. Short of pulling her child out of school to electively home educate, this isnt really a thing. How would it even work? Can you imagine if we disruption to timetables, staff and children if we moved Teachers/children between classes mid-year every time a parent took a dislike to a particular member of staff?

Also curious to know who exactly your friend is threatening to "report" this matter to. I'm struggling to think of any regulatory authority that investigates consensual sex between adults that happens away from school, outside of school hours. Unless said Teacher is turning up to sex parties wearing a hoodie with the school logo on it or dogging in the school car park there is literally nothing to report.

Anyone who thinks this is "a safeguarding issue" doesn't understand what the word safeguarding means, so should probably stop using it. Someone who happens to be a Teacher having sex with multiple consenting adult partners outside of their working hours does not put children at risk of harm. Nor is it anyone else's business, and as the school Designated Safeguarding Lead if I got a call from a parent about this I would have no hesitation in telling them so.

This.

Complete nonsense.

years !ago teachers female were usually spinsters who would have died if a man had even looked twice at them never mind swinging.
we had a married couple as teachers both teaching in same school but I doubt they had even heard of such a thing even though it was the 70s

'Doctor McSwinger'...oh, blimey, that made me laugh...

My parents had one in the front lawn when I was a kid. I always wondered what they did when I was away at my Grandma's all summer...

I think people are being a bit naive about how common this is. I’m casually dating at the moment- pretty much every guy I’ve spoken to has been interested in a threesome and many have had them. And ENM is also a very popular now. It’s not my thing but I couldn’t care less if someone else is doing it and don’t see it as a moral or conduct issue.

People who are in the swinging or kink communities tend, in my experience, to be far more aware of issues around consent, the orgasm gap and sexual health than others.

I’d much prefer a swinger teach my children PSHE than someone with Catholic type sexual purity morals.

Exactly. Ridiculous.

I agree. People throw the word "safeguarding" around without any understanding of what it actually means. If you listen to MN, everything involving a child is safeguarding issue. It bloody isn't.

You can expect it all you like but there is nothing in my professional code of conduct which even remotely stipulates what I can and cannot do in my private life. I can attend sex parties, post explicit pictures online and all sorts - unless I am wearing NHS badge while doing it, regulator has no business investigating anything. What I cannot do is any sort of illegal activity. But being a swinger is not illegal.

I wonder who is allowed to swing?

How do we rank professions for this kind of thing?

Tbh at my primary school we had a rota for swingers / climbers / netball courts at playtime otherwise the queues got unruly.

Unless they are inviting students to take part, it has no bearing on their job.

Forgot to add, those saying you wouldn't want your child to have this Teacher for PSHE lessons are being completely ridiculous.

There is a curriculum for PSHE, so that's what is taught in schools, Relationships and Sex Education is just one element of that curriculum and very clear guidance is given regarding what needs to be taught. Just because a Teacher enjoys experimental sex in their own time that doesn't mean they're going to go wildly off-piste during a PSHE lesson and tell Year 6 about the joys of chem-sex and pegging. Apart from anything else there isn't time, there is a lot of content that has to be covered and a set time to do it in.

Do you have to approve of the way a Teacher manages their own money for them to teach your child Maths? Perhaps you should ask for a spreadsheet with their household income and outgoings to make sure. What if their English teacher enjoys reading books in their spare time that you think are a bit shit?? Perhaps you should ask for a regularly updated reading list.

Funnily enough, you don't get to dictate who teaches your child based on whether you personally approve of the way they live their life outside of school. Just because school staff work for the public sector that doesn't mean you own them.

Id be asking the teacher if i could join.😂

Fortunately you’d not be sacked nowadays for just being on Gaydar.

I imagine this was in the days before anyone had really thought of safeguarding as such - or understood what true safeguarding really is and entails.

Basically and succinctly safeguarding in schools is….

If you mess or handle pupils - physically or mentally then you can expect to be in trouble.Big trouble.

If you suspect someone else of messing or handling pupils - again physically or mentally then you have a duty to report it. This can be anyone both inside or outside the school environment.

It should be reported before going home, you should not try to sort it yourself.

Teachers spend a deal of time going through safeguarding training.

Being gay, trans, having a vibrant sex life should not preclude you from teaching - handling any goods should.

It's because sex stuff is infectious. It was the thinking behind Section 28, too. If you do anything other than missionary, once a month, the kids are going to end up knowing about it, probably because you just can't help talking about it in the middle of a class on quadratic equations or the Congress of Vienna or terminal morains, and from that, they will end living debauched lives of all sorts, probably running cannabis farms on the side. It's entirely unavoidable if a teacher even thinks about it.

Absolutely no business of the parents and nothing to do with their work life.

Im a primary school teacher and with the attitude of your friend, I’m glad the parents have no idea what I get up to at the weekend 🤣 and my colleagues too!

Exactly right.