Is this rude if you were a guest?

[Britishsummertime22]

If you were a guest in someone's house and they went up to bed without saying goodnight or telling you they were going to bed/not coming back downstairs would you think that was rude?

I'd probably just laugh it off with them in the morning. "I didn't realise you'd gone to bed! I hope I wasn't keeping you up. What time do you usually turn in?"

If go with that. I certainly wouldn't leave based just on this, assuming that otherwise their behaviour was normal and they wanted you there. Going by some of the lists on here they're not alone in their oddness.

But if today doesn't feel comfortable in any other way, you could reconsider your plans.

I thought it was funny.
It was so obviously not a real suggestion, I despair at the lack of critical thinking on MN sometimes 🙄

As for people AS the OP's posting history - FFS 🤬 can people not answer the question asked without digging to find out "gotchas"? It's the reason I name change so often.
oooh, you said you had chips for dinner on Tuesday, now you're saying wedges! Which was it OP?

To answer:
Yes, it's weird @Britishsummertime22 ! Depending on who they are to you and what your relationship is like, I'd be asking them WTF??? this morning.

This is why I name change every few days!

Depending on how they are this morning, I would go home OP. It’s very strange behaviour.

They’re subjective. Funny to some and not to others.

Even my parents whose house I have been in many many times will always confirm-right off to bed, I have locked up, see you tomorrow"

Their locking is complex/I am not 100% where keys are or then live. Can't imagine trying to lock up in others houses. (Luckily I have a flat and have never had to "lock up" )

No one's "holding it against you" OP.

It's a weird thread. If you were the requested childcare for your niece why are you arranging childcare for the childcare? Why not go on your trip when you're not looking after her?

Everyone has told you these people were rude. What else do you want from the thread? It's up to you how you respond to them. If this genuinely happened I'd have left last night, but I don't know anyone who is bizarre enough to just stand up and wordlessly leave a room and not return.

Maybe the first one felt ill and the second went up to check on them and then just didn't come back. Maybe they go to bed at 10pm usually and were really tired but didn't want to make you feel you had to go to bed?

Not great as a guest in their house on first night though.

Do hope things go better today.

Saying "Goodnight" is hardly demanding to be tucked in.

It really depends. I am friends with a couple and it's a very close friendship. I stay with them a lot. We don't have any ceremonies around each other. Most of the time someone will just peel off at some point in the evening without making a fuss about it. Sometimes there is more formal "right, I'm off to bed". But it's very fluid and I can't say I've ever questioned if it's rude or not. It's just a thing. It's what they do when they don't have any guests either, I'm sure. There is a saying in my language which roughly translates as "don't bring your scripture to someone else's temple".

@Britishsummertime22 I'd have shouted "Goodnight then!" up the stairs but I'm petty AF

Who are these people to you? Have they spoken to you this morning?!

So that means that they can't say one word, Goodnight? Neither of them?!
God Almighty, has basic manners completely gone out the window?
MN will always come up with this type of crap explanation to excuse bad behaviour 🙄

It is definitely weird to just sneak away like that. @Britishsummertime22 You are posting in the early hours. I hope this isn't keeping you awake.

That sounds weird and rude.
Could you ask if you did something wrong yesterday as they just went to bed without saying anything?

I'd have gone upstairs banging about loudly, and said in a loud voice, is it locked up downstairs, are we going to bed then? Dependi g on the answer, I might have packed my bag and driven home. Rude fuckers.

This was good! I would say this

Odd, but a number of factors might answer why they didn't.

If you'd just got back from a night out, maybe they thought they'd finished the evening with you and it was just natural to go and get ready for bed

Had they had a few drinks, and maybe not thinking straight.

Did they warmly invite you?

Yes, strange and rude!

I would find it very strange and also wonder if I had done/said something they took offence at.

Definitely rude and weird

You were not being unreasonable, and the troll hunting was ridiculous.

My guess is that this is a complete mis-communication. If it’s a couple that you are staying with then they both think that the other one has said “we’re off to bed now” or something like that. Or could one of them have said it quietly or out of ear-shot thinking you could hear?

Are they normally strange with anything else?

I’d lightheartedly mention it to them in the morning “oh I was sat downstairs and realised you’d both buggered off to bed last night!” - then see what they say. Don’t over-think it or let it spoil your visit.

How is saying goodnight being formal?

I think you post needs more detail . You arrived
at what time , did you have dinner together . See your room. How well do you know these peopel and who went to bed first .
Also were you on your phone as asked , were they yawning . Did they say they were shattered ? Do you know them to be early bed people?

Some people have not only trawled though the OP's previous threads but proudly announced that they've reported. If you're unsure you can simply report and let MNHQ do their job.