To not tell partner about daughter's a&e attendance

[FedUp120028]

As the title says really.

D is an adult, he expects me to tell him if she attends but as per patient confidentiality, given she's an adult I should not. Only when NOK contact is necessary which is her mother should I contact a parent, otherwise it would breach confidentiality unless she explicitly tells me to.

Calm yer horses! You might hurt yourself from reaching that far.

If he doesn't give a shit about you or the law what makes you think he will be swayed by a bunch of women online?

Come off it.

He wants you to risk everything and do as you're told.

Of course!

I don’t think you should show him this thread. Surely you can Google the rules on patient confidence and show him. Patient confidentiality helps keep patients safe so the suggestion you’re choosing your job over your daughter is ludicrous.

She lives with mum and she has naturally become NOK but she is closer to Dad.

Your DP is absolute prick! You say ‘if he found out it would be over?!’ I would kick him out now - how dare he control his adult D and you like this!

As you know you could get the sack breaking confidentiality like that and quite rightly so.

It's not my daughter, it's his. I just don't like his intention to put me in that kind of position. I would always, always choose the patients basic right to confidentiality.

YABU to create a pointless hypothetical argument.

Ok so you know what he’s like now. You’ll leave him yeah?

Why?

Well seeing this attitude, perhaps.

it is such a waste of life to be arguing about this - he sounds a loser and I’d get rid.

He sounds like an idiot who has no respect for you or for your job or for his daughter.

Has he got any good qualities?

Not telling him is putting his daughter first.

Let's say you do tell him, what's going to happen? He's going to approach her about it, next time she needs to go to a&e, she won't go as she knows it'll get back to her Dad, she's now in danger.

The fact he would so disrespect and undermine you and your career to compensate for his lacking relationship with his daughter, whilst violating her trust, and put you in such an awful position is not good.

I would close down any further conversations about it and threaten to tell his daughter what he's doing, and let her know her confidential medical information is safe in your hands.

If his relationship with his daughter is so poor that she wouldn’t tell him then it adds nothing positive to the situation by telling him. Whatever treatment she receives would be the same whether he knows about it or not. So yes your job is more important than telling him. It’s a red flag that he doesn’t see your job as important and doesn’t see why an adult should have privacy in their healthcare.

Your daughter, your partner is her dad and she also has a mum?

Ignore me I have just seen a post the clears it up. She isn't your daughter.

People who know your SD, obviously. Not saying random strangers.

As you correctly say adult Daughters privacy overrides any right he feels he has to know.
& in answer to his question
your job is not relevant what’s important is his daughters privacy if she wants him to know she can either tell him or have him added as a NOK/ICE.
nicely he should not be involving you or your job.

Even then, it would be impossible to place a guess.

I think it depends. If you took her in or if you were working and she came in. If you were working or happened upon her in your professional capacity then you can't tell him. It's confidential.

It does sound like your partner is a bit controlling to both you and his daughter.

You don't think OP may have changed some details? Maybe it's a son in real life. People change details on here all the time.

Well apparently he has all rights ever to know about his adult daughter.

So, I've asked a friend the same hypothetical situation about her 16+ daughter and she'd also expect me tk blab. What is it with parental expectations when their children are ADULTS.

Thread after thread after thread on this site keeps reinforcing to me that men are ghastly, entitled creatures.